Intimacy

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Spicy

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 113

You deserved it 4 652

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 556

You deserved it 19 421

Get it on

By xomelodygervais - 08/11/2013 14:00 - Canada - Timmins

Spicy

Today, my husband's version of roleplaying was pretending that he actually wanted to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 022

You deserved it 6 197

Spooked

By thatescalatedquickly - 07/11/2013 08:52 - United States - Collierville

Spicy

Today, I was having sex for the first time with a girl who wanted to be friends with benefits. Halfway through sex she noticed that I had the same tattoo as her brother, and had a full-on panic attack that lasted half-an-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 147

You deserved it 7 287

Filth

By roughsexgonewrong - 05/11/2013 18:01 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 283

You deserved it 11 630

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Spicy

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 59 128

Face gone out of control

By UnfortunatelyAmusing - 05/11/2013 00:25 - United States - Princeton Junction

Spicy

Today, I found out that my sex face is definitely amusing after the third girl in a row started laughing at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 305

You deserved it 8 681

By TheTruthofWomen - 04/11/2013 05:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 250

You deserved it 4 679

By justme - 02/11/2013 13:21 - United States - Alliance

Spicy

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 897

You deserved it 6 055

WTF?

By Champignon - 01/11/2013 14:17 - Belgium - Brasschaat

Spicy

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 382

You deserved it 4 303

By PapaW - 01/11/2013 07:01 - United States - Lehi

Spicy

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 564

You deserved it 7 122

Heat of the moment

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 700

You deserved it 15 226

By goodgrief - 30/10/2013 18:28 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 951

You deserved it 8 798

Braggadocio

By snowwhite - 28/10/2013 04:51 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 678

You deserved it 10 137

Too late

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 23:46 - United States - Paramus

Spicy

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 453

You deserved it 9 622

Get it on

By SharkWeek - 27/10/2013 15:26 - United States - Wrightsville

Spicy

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 820

You deserved it 5 836

Bad game

By Dick the Greater - 25/10/2013 22:08

Spicy

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 457

You deserved it 10 380

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 136

You deserved it 7 261

By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 21:26 - Canada - Calgary

Spicy

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 979

You deserved it 6 312

By Anonymous - 23/10/2013 07:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 721

You deserved it 4 681

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 21:22 - United States - New York

Spicy

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 137

You deserved it 9 387

By Anonymous - 21/10/2013 19:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 883

You deserved it 4 488

By U_U - 20/10/2013 19:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 152

You deserved it 5 148

By Female_Lucifer - 20/10/2013 13:02 - United States - New Lebanon

Spicy

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 398

You deserved it 5 186

By Anonymous - 19/10/2013 05:34 - United States - Escondido

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 457

You deserved it 4 767

Dumbass

By O-|---<=~ - 18/10/2013 23:01 - United States - Bellingham

Spicy

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 941

You deserved it 5 685

Everyday sexism

By nerdywaitress - 18/10/2013 05:14 - United States - Greensboro

Spicy

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 714

You deserved it 5 055

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 03:11 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 292

You deserved it 7 096

By hes - 15/10/2013 10:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 458

You deserved it 4 407

By Medication - 12/10/2013 15:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 193

You deserved it 7 064

Medication tells us more.

Medication 10

Wednesday 16 October 2013 1:30

I didn't have an account when I posted this, but I'm the OP, and honestly, during our drunken state, I mustered up enough sobriety to prevent things from going too far. I as well, didn't want to ruin things between us by having sex because I respected her too much, and wanted more than that. Was it the right thing to do, or was I just being a dumbass? One commenter was correct in stating that she was confused as to what she really wanted. Either way, we've talked it out, and moved over that. It's better anyways maybe, considering we both work together and I have to go on months long deployments with this girl, haha. :]

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I called my boyfriend. He answered with, "Hey, I'll call you back when this goes to commercial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 504

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 861

You deserved it 3 752

Today, I, a woman, realized that only women find me attractive, which is fine, except that I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 100

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 457

You deserved it 5 759

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 428

You deserved it 3 983

Today, I spent 45 minutes getting my toddler into a cute outfit for family photos. As soon as we arrived at the photographer's studio, he made direct eye contact with me, pulled off his pants, and ran screaming into the background of someone else's shoot. He's never looked happier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 174