By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Spicy
Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 604
You deserved it 16 431
Intimacy
Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

shadowfighter10 9

*morgan freeman voice* she's right you know

334 10
Reply Report
Pleonasm 35
Send a private message

The Hangover: Part Sex "Holy shit, men, we've somehow made it to her bladder!"

169 12
Reply Report
Next

Comments

shadowfighter10 9

*morgan freeman voice* she's right you know

334 10
Reply Report
buttcramp 21

hilarious #1! OP, maybe she wants sex to be more special than just drunk sex. Sorry you got turned down though.

46 8
Reply Report
DorklyComicFan 8
Send a private message

Maybe she was drunk too.

12 53
Reply Report
SgtAssCheeks 21
Send a private message

Then her drunk ovaries would create total chaos with drunk sperm; Armageddon

47 1
Reply Report
JoeyJaws68 18

Lethal

6 41
Reply Report
Pleonasm 35
Send a private message

The Hangover: Part Sex "Holy shit, men, we've somehow made it to her bladder!"

169 12
Reply Report
Queen_bee1234 21
Send a private message

Doesn't seem like she is the sharpest tool in the shed.

18 70
Reply Report
klorehore 24
Send a private message

seems more like OP is the dumb one here, actually taking offense enough to post this on fml and expecting sympathy

1 0
Reply Report
sardonique 11
Send a private message

Stop talking about yourself like that.

26 9
Reply Report
seprunner 12

That's how accidents happen

6 34
Reply Report
iLike2Teabag 27

Is that how you happened?

10 0
Reply Report
ZY1431 24

well maybe she......yea no I got nothing sorry. not the sharpest tool in the or whatever you wanna use.

10 57
Reply Report
bubblyhayley 16
Send a private message

erm, what!!??

18 0
Reply Report
Hiimhaileypotter 52

Apparently #8 is drunk as well.

4 0
Reply Report
girlrome 19
Send a private message

Either she's really stupid or simply wasn't in the mood to sleep with you.

10 34
Reply Report
booze_n_bitches 37
Send a private message

Legit excuse, I'll remember that one.

86 4
Reply Report
Zen_Mei 17
Send a private message

She doesn't want to take any chances just in case you don't pull out quick enough

8 36
Reply Report
SuperStormCindy 8
Send a private message

pulling out doesn't work.

20 1
Reply Report
anon42146 8
Send a private message

can someone please inform me how pulling out "doesn't work" the only fucking way to get pregnant is for the sperm to be inside, if he pulls his shit out before he finishes, there won't be a problem.

0 17
Reply Report
Ari1337 15

pre-ejaculation my friend.

18 0
Reply Report
mrlopez 13

To add to #71, pre-cum. Don't think anything is foolproof...

8 0
Reply Report
DanielleinDC 32
Send a private message

This is the problem with abstinence-only "education". Before a man comes, there's already fluid leaking (pre-ejaculate), and it often will have enough sperm to knock a woman up if she's at the right time in her cycle. Not to mention if a guy is drunk, he may not do so in time. I'm willing to be OP's girlfriend just didn't want to have sex with her drunken boyfriend and made up a stupid excuse.

8 0
Reply Report
sonictardis 8
Send a private message

the tiniest amount of pre-cum. That's how my nephew was conceived.

3 0
Reply Report
Next