By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Spicy
Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 532
You deserved it 16 389
Intimacy
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shadowfighter10 9
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*morgan freeman voice* she's right you know

334 10
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Pleonasm 35
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The Hangover: Part Sex "Holy shit, men, we've somehow made it to her bladder!"

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shadowfighter10 9
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*morgan freeman voice* she's right you know

334 10
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buttcramp 21
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hilarious #1! OP, maybe she wants sex to be more special than just drunk sex. Sorry you got turned down though.

46 8
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DorklyComicFan 8
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Maybe she was drunk too.

12 53
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SgtAssCheeks 21
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Then her drunk ovaries would create total chaos with drunk sperm; Armageddon

47 1
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Pleonasm 35
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The Hangover: Part Sex "Holy shit, men, we've somehow made it to her bladder!"

169 12
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Queen_bee1234 21
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Doesn't seem like she is the sharpest tool in the shed.

18 70
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klorehore 24
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seems more like OP is the dumb one here, actually taking offense enough to post this on fml and expecting sympathy

1 0
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sardonique 11
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Stop talking about yourself like that.

26 9
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seprunner 12
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That's how accidents happen

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iLike2Teabag 27
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Is that how you happened?

10 0
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ZY1431 24
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well maybe she......yea no I got nothing sorry. not the sharpest tool in the or whatever you wanna use.

10 57
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bubblyhayley 16
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erm, what!!??

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Hiimhaileypotter 52
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Apparently #8 is drunk as well.

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girlrome 19
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Either she's really stupid or simply wasn't in the mood to sleep with you.

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booze_n_bitches 35
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Legit excuse, I'll remember that one.

86 4
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Zen_Mei 17
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She doesn't want to take any chances just in case you don't pull out quick enough

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SuperStormCindy 8
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pulling out doesn't work.

20 1
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anon42146 8
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can someone please inform me how pulling out "doesn't work" the only fucking way to get pregnant is for the sperm to be inside, if he pulls his shit out before he finishes, there won't be a problem.

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Ari1337 15
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pre-ejaculation my friend.

18 0
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mrlopez 13
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To add to #71, pre-cum. Don't think anything is foolproof...

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DanielleinDC 32
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This is the problem with abstinence-only "education". Before a man comes, there's already fluid leaking (pre-ejaculate), and it often will have enough sperm to knock a woman up if she's at the right time in her cycle. Not to mention if a guy is drunk, he may not do so in time. I'm willing to be OP's girlfriend just didn't want to have sex with her drunken boyfriend and made up a stupid excuse.

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sonictardis 8
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the tiniest amount of pre-cum. That's how my nephew was conceived.

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