By tayymeds - 12/03/2014 07:44 - United States - Mission Viejo
tayymeds tells us more.
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It's about feelings though. It's easy to say that she should just tell him what she thinks but it's another thing to know she could be hurting the feelings of someone she loves. I have a similar problem with my boyfriend (not the dog reference but that he just doesn't know what I like) and I know I should tell him, but he tries so hard and I can't bring myself to hurt him. We do both need to woman up though OP, but I understand why it's difficult. Good luck with your conversation! ✌
There is a difference between being honest and being rude. Saying something like, "it would be better for me if you weren't so aggressive." or "I really prefer oral sex that is gentle" instead of "you act like a rabid dog." You can be honest with your partner about sex while still taking their feelings into account. Most people would rather know and be able to please their partner instead of just assuming that they are doing a good job and finding out later that their partner has been lying to them. OP, this is your fault for lying and not telling him what you like.
90, you can always just say to your partner "everyone likes different things, so while your past partners have liked what you've been doing, it doesn't do as much for me as it did for them. Here's what gets me going..." Then tell your partner all the things they're doing right! After they've had their moment of glory, say simply what you don't like. That way the conversation seems like they are doing ALL these things well and just one or two things wrong. Feelings are less likely to be hurt. If it's awkward, you probably haven't been together long enough to be having sex on a regular basis. You should build somewhat of a relationship prior to getting physical, for your own protection emotionally and from potential STDs.
So yes, I agree that I completely deserve it because I won't be blunt with him. I just don't want him to get insecure about it, like he has with other intimate things. I drop hints by not showing response when he starts to act like I'm a chew toy, but it doesn't work. I have however, brought up the idea of watching movies with him, he's agreed to it, so maybe I'll lightly drop the bomb there.... But all in all, he's a great man and an exceptional lover--just not with that one bit of foreplay. Thanks for the laughs and opinions!