Love: Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light...

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 725

You deserved it 32 652

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 572

You deserved it 6 880

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 993

You deserved it 4 322

Rude awakening

By oww - 15/11/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 256

You deserved it 3 399

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 616

You deserved it 35 196

By wtf - 03/05/2014 16:50 - Germany - Ramstein

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up in a cold sweat. My girlfriend was in bed with me at the time, and swears I yelled out another girl's name. She considers this proof that I'm cheating on her, and now she won't even speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 5 304

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

By Amy - 10/05/2012 19:14 - Canada - Prince George

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 237

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

bexox 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:01

"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol

GhettoWangstuh 0

Monday 9 February 2009 7:13

omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute

Comments

GhettoWangstuh 0

Monday 9 February 2009 7:13

omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute

ohno_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 7:05

aw **** she has a sense of humor. you should be happy dude

ilovefatcats 12

Wednesday 7 April 2010 23:33

HAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA WAHAHAH ... I peed a little -_-

bexox 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:01

"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol

CameronJak 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 22:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

brittanyrmh_ 12

Wednesday 21 November 2012 7:34

53 - Do you want a ******* medal, or...?

mikuxxhatsune 32

Saturday 15 August 2015 10:48

No they deserve a trophy and to receive a Nobel award.

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 16:45

That is AWESOME!!

HyperFlirt 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 6:41

That is simply amazing! XD She's a keeper.

AcessDenied 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:25

omg your girl's awesomesauce with a side of ftw sammich. I would totally love it if that happened to me. But, of course, not permanent marker. I'd probably be in a lot of trouble with any job interviews I got with 'NOT NOW' written across my forehead.