Love: Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light...

By titou - 05/01/2009 03:33 - France

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 719

You deserved it 32 616

Love

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 980

You deserved it 4 318

By IB6UB9 - 28/11/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 149

You deserved it 6 974

By Anonymous - 17/04/2012 20:53 - United States - International Falls

Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 362

You deserved it 2 037

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 427

You deserved it 8 247

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 400

You deserved it 19 715

By Anonymous - 22/01/2014 00:55 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 358

You deserved it 6 198

When you're in a dream…

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 01:40 - United States

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 009

You deserved it 3 088

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 991

You deserved it 108 889

By shelbylove115 - 22/02/2013 05:35 - United States - Nevada City

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 611

You deserved it 35 167

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 507

You deserved it 2 253

bexox 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:01

"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol

GhettoWangstuh 0

Monday 9 February 2009 7:13

omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute

Comments

GhettoWangstuh 0

Monday 9 February 2009 7:13

omg how is this on fmylife.com?! thats so cute

ohno_fml 0

Wednesday 11 February 2009 7:05

aw **** she has a sense of humor. you should be happy dude

ilovefatcats 12

Wednesday 7 April 2010 23:33

HAHAHAHA BAHAHAHA WAHAHAH ... I peed a little -_-

bexox 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:01

"Nor now" She also speaks with excellent grammar! When is the last time I heard the word "nor"? lol

CameronJak 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 22:56

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

brittanyrmh_ 12

Wednesday 21 November 2012 7:34

53 - Do you want a ******* medal, or...?

mikuxxhatsune 32

Saturday 15 August 2015 10:48

No they deserve a trophy and to receive a Nobel award.

Lizo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 16:45

That is AWESOME!!

HyperFlirt 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 6:41

That is simply amazing! XD She's a keeper.

AcessDenied 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 23:25

omg your girl's awesomesauce with a side of ftw sammich. I would totally love it if that happened to me. But, of course, not permanent marker. I'd probably be in a lot of trouble with any job interviews I got with 'NOT NOW' written across my forehead.