Love: Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't... - FML

By Faxshadow - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

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Late term

Gas giant

They're everywhere

By changeddaily - Australia

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after 4 years of college to get a BA in Marketing and 2 years to get an MBA, I landed a great job as a receptionist. My boss likes to fist bump when I buzz him through the security door correctly. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2020 05:01

Collateral damage

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked how long he'd have to wait until he could ask out my best friend. We broke up yesterday. FML

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By someonesomething - United States

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

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By Tanny

Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML

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By weedvocate - 25/3/2020 14:02

All in the Family

Today, my mother brought home dinner for 4 people. I was not one of those people. The dog, however, was. FML

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By JT - Luxembourg

Today, after my sister's wedding, a bunch of people were dancing. I noticed my grandma sitting alone and looking sad. My grandpa died last month, so feeling bad for her, I asked if she'd like to dance with me. She seemed a lot happier, until I accidentally caused her to fall and break her arm. FML

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By Carrie - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my water broke while my boyfriend was breaking up with me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Traverse City

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

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By SmileEveryday - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

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By sportskidguru - United States

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

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By Dr Pepper

I'm not sad. Or am I?

Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML

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By ChevRooon - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

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By say what?! - 10/4/2020 08:00

Missed opportunities

Today, I got a text from a female friend saying, "So bored, come over, let's fuck.” Knowing her sense of humor, I laughed it off and sarcastically replied, "On my way!” About an hour later, I got a message from her husband asking what was taking me so long. They really wanted a threesome. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/4/2020 17:00

Every little helps

Today, I found out that my grandmother desecrated my grandfather's grave. 14 years after his death, she dug up his body and had him cremated so that she could sell his plot back to the cemetery for money. I was the one who found out so I had to tell the rest of the family. FML

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By Kelly - 23/7/2020 02:01

Polly wants it

Today, at work, I booked a vet appointment for an African Gray to get a birth control implant. I didn’t even know that was a thing and I definitely never thought that a parrot would have a more active sex life than me. FML

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By unfortunateMother - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

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By shakinmahbuttbutt - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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By Mazzam - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she bought for me. I said joking: "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

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By MaySheRestinPeace - 6/3/2020 15:00

With friends like these…

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

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By cocacola999 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

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By yeshehaspornaddiction - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gorham

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2020 22:56 - United States - Ashburn

Alexa, play "Isolation" by Joy Division

Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

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By sozzy - United States - Aliso Viejo

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

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By smh - Canada

Today, after coming home from a long day at work, I found out that in a house full of 5 adults, some rules still need to be set. The newest addition to the rules: No watching porn and jerking off in the living room. FML

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By Luke - United States

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

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By marriedbutlonely - United States - Federal Way

Today, after having my husband ask if I 'had any plans' for the weekend, and him mentioning that he got me something special, he played his PS4 for hours, ignored me, then finally took a break to hand me a tiny box of chocolates. I can't even be mad because he looked so proud. FML

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By Baegel - United States - Havertown

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

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By Anonymous

Cats gonna cat

Today, I got a new mattress delivered to my house. Didn’t have it on the frame for more than 5 minutes before my cat had already pissed on it. FML

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By LassieToe - Australia

Today, while on the train to university, I realized it was my stop and quickly stood up to get off. Or I would have, if my leg hadn't gone to sleep and caused me to fall, landing face first into the crotch of the old guy in front of me. FML

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By Claire - 17/12/2020 17:01

The real me

Today, I finally told my parents I'm trans. My dad started crying and told me he loved me no matter what. My mother threw a chair at me, and told my dad it was his "wife-like" behaviour that made me this way. She then prayed out loud for an hour for God to send her a real husband and son. FML

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By lottielondon - United Kingdom

Today, my garage was flooded. Everything was ruined. My garage also happens to be my study, in which my entire art coursework was drying. My exam is tomorrow and all I have to hand in is a pile of mushy paper. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

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By gothicvamp93 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

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Top comments

By cndrow | 0

#903 - Monday 9 February 2009 22:52

I can relate.. I ended up dumping my long time best friend/boyfriend/lover, only to find out 6 months later I loved him dearly. Fortunately I don't have an "FML" because he gave me one last chance- and we're happier than ever now.

Hope things work out. :(

By jacksonme | 0

#745 - Monday 9 February 2009 1:03

I fell back in love with my ex that I broke up with. It was only supposed to be a short breakup, so I could find myself, and at the time he loved me dearly - now I'm just some bitch.

COMMENTS

By jacksonme | 0

#745 - Monday 9 February 2009 1:03

I fell back in love with my ex that I broke up with. It was only supposed to be a short breakup, so I could find myself, and at the time he loved me dearly - now I'm just some bitch.

Reply

D4ni3l96 | 5

#975208 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 17:17

I can totally relate to your situation except... the other way round.

Reply

iLoveTeraaa | 0

#979952 - Thursday 15 April 2010 4:50



Reply

monkeybanana | 7

#2754922 - Saturday 25 June 2011 8:59

happened to me too haha. not exactly like that though but it still happened

Reply

Rainbowjumper0 | 12

#4961535 - Saturday 22 September 2012 23:04

*Insert Adele song here* That sucks for you and OP :(

Reply

Toasty283 | 8

#5547655 - Sunday 23 June 2013 4:56

Adele should make a song just for FML

By cndrow | 0

#903 - Monday 9 February 2009 22:52

I can relate.. I ended up dumping my long time best friend/boyfriend/lover, only to find out 6 months later I loved him dearly. Fortunately I don't have an "FML" because he gave me one last chance- and we're happier than ever now.

Hope things work out. :(

Reply

gars56 | 5

#4806516 - Monday 13 August 2012 4:34

I did the same thing except by the time I realized it she had moved on :(

By bbk_fml | 1

#5634 - Monday 23 February 2009 3:40

when i started my relationship i was pushin it, but i could tell he loved me. Now we broke up, im mad in love, he doesnt care anymore.

Reply

emmaa3451 | 11

#3516814 - Monday 31 October 2011 3:33

Omg yes, lol

By alleffedup | 0

#7645 - Thursday 26 February 2009 7:38

Like when I fell in love with a guy that loved me. He stopped loving me when I loved him.

By rainbox_fml | 0

#8253 - Friday 27 February 2009 2:40

agh....i'm a girl and i just did that to someone. i feel like a horrible person.

By drummwill | 0

#21418 - Sunday 8 March 2009 16:52

shit man, taht ahppens to me ALL THE TIME!
gawdddd

Reply

D4ni3l96 | 5

#975209 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 17:20

lmao ^^^

By Ramizzle | 0

#21995 - Sunday 8 March 2009 22:29

Amen to that, same excact thing happened to me 2 weeks ago and i'm still emo about it. the followiung chances i had to easy the situation, i effed up even more. FOL

By zzz_fml | 0

#22042 - Sunday 8 March 2009 22:55

I'm in this situation right now.. only he loves another girl. stupid me.

Reply

chocolatepr | 4

#4278276 - Monday 9 April 2012 2:07

that sucks

By User__Name | 0

#37838 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 19:53

aww.

By fallchild007 | 0

#41526 - Thursday 19 March 2009 1:22

I can relate. I used to like someone and we never told each other - 3 years later we found out we had liked each other. haha.