Love: Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't... - FML

By Faxshadow - United Kingdom

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

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Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Marriage doesn't solve anything

What hell, lady?

By Alyssa - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

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By ouchmytits - United States

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2021 02:00

Fun for all the family

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Norcross

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my company filed for bankruptcy, but the reorganize kind where it still functions. There are no funds to give out paychecks any time soon. They won't fire me. If I voluntarily quit, I cannot file for unemployment. I'm now an unpaid intern. FML

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By anonbob - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

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By turdburger - Australia

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

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By imabadperson - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML

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By Waffle

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

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By Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

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By ultraattitude - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

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By itchyyet - Australia - Hawker

Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/6/2020 17:00

Check this out

Today, I ran downstairs to meet the Amazon driver and threw on a shirt in a rush. Only after he left did I realise it was my shirt with artful rips in the design and I'd forgot to put on a vest under it. I'd flashed the driver my entire right boob with nipple piercing through one of the holes. FML

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By everyoneheard - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

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By Zyopy - Australia - Hampton

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

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By SGreene

Today, a storm dropped a tree across my road. I would have moved it with my tractor, but there was a tree on that too. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my husband left his cellphone unlocked so I decided to go through it. I found 10 texts threads from 10 different women, one of them from my 18 year old sister who was sending him nude pictures. FML

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By sciencesadness - United States - Lynnwood

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

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By Alex - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

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By Dinger1992 - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

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By Karen - United States

Knackered

Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine, if he didn't fall asleep on the toilet. FML

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By Roll Tide of Tears - United States

Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

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By Username - Reserved

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

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By AGluckily - United States

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

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By Thescarlettfox

Monster in my bathroom

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

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By thanksfyi - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

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By gabby - United States

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

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By FFS - Cyprus - Limassol

Thanks, I hate it

Today, I received a promotional message offering a half-off deal on an expensive coffee maker. The only reason why I received the message is because I bought that same coffee maker yesterday and I signed up to their mailing list. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Foam Lake

We need to talk

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

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By Pururururin - 11/6/2020 08:08

Sounds bad

Today, I accidentally deleted an audio file for my first professional video project. Impossible to do a retake, because the production budget was so tight. The audio from the camera sounds bad and file recovery program still can't help. Also, the deadline is this week. FML

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By noname - France

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my Mum has spent the money she's been saving for my wedding on moving house. She called saving for a wedding for me a 'pointless cause' as it's probably never going to happen now. I'm only 22. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Uxbridge

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

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By DormHater - United States

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

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By Michael - 5/2/2021 21:30 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Give me strength

Today, I wanted to clean my house. Of course the vacuum cleaner got stuck behind furniture multiple times. After the fifth time or so, I gave it a good pull. Now my vacuum cleaner is broken and the socket is off the wall. FML

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Top comments

By cndrow | 0

#903 - Monday 9 February 2009 22:52

I can relate.. I ended up dumping my long time best friend/boyfriend/lover, only to find out 6 months later I loved him dearly. Fortunately I don't have an "FML" because he gave me one last chance- and we're happier than ever now.

Hope things work out. :(

By jacksonme | 0

#745 - Monday 9 February 2009 1:03

I fell back in love with my ex that I broke up with. It was only supposed to be a short breakup, so I could find myself, and at the time he loved me dearly - now I'm just some bitch.

COMMENTS

By jacksonme | 0

#745 - Monday 9 February 2009 1:03

I fell back in love with my ex that I broke up with. It was only supposed to be a short breakup, so I could find myself, and at the time he loved me dearly - now I'm just some bitch.

Reply

D4ni3l96 | 5

#975208 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 17:17

I can totally relate to your situation except... the other way round.

Reply

iLoveTeraaa | 0

#979952 - Thursday 15 April 2010 4:50



Reply

monkeybanana | 7

#2754922 - Saturday 25 June 2011 8:59

happened to me too haha. not exactly like that though but it still happened

Reply

Rainbowjumper0 | 12

#4961535 - Saturday 22 September 2012 23:04

*Insert Adele song here* That sucks for you and OP :(

Reply

Toasty283 | 8

#5547655 - Sunday 23 June 2013 4:56

Adele should make a song just for FML

By cndrow | 0

#903 - Monday 9 February 2009 22:52

I can relate.. I ended up dumping my long time best friend/boyfriend/lover, only to find out 6 months later I loved him dearly. Fortunately I don't have an "FML" because he gave me one last chance- and we're happier than ever now.

Hope things work out. :(

Reply

gars56 | 5

#4806516 - Monday 13 August 2012 4:34

I did the same thing except by the time I realized it she had moved on :(

By bbk_fml | 1

#5634 - Monday 23 February 2009 3:40

when i started my relationship i was pushin it, but i could tell he loved me. Now we broke up, im mad in love, he doesnt care anymore.

Reply

emmaa3451 | 11

#3516814 - Monday 31 October 2011 3:33

Omg yes, lol

By alleffedup | 0

#7645 - Thursday 26 February 2009 7:38

Like when I fell in love with a guy that loved me. He stopped loving me when I loved him.

By rainbox_fml | 0

#8253 - Friday 27 February 2009 2:40

agh....i'm a girl and i just did that to someone. i feel like a horrible person.

By drummwill | 0

#21418 - Sunday 8 March 2009 16:52

shit man, taht ahppens to me ALL THE TIME!
gawdddd

Reply

D4ni3l96 | 5

#975209 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 17:20

lmao ^^^

By Ramizzle | 0

#21995 - Sunday 8 March 2009 22:29

Amen to that, same excact thing happened to me 2 weeks ago and i'm still emo about it. the followiung chances i had to easy the situation, i effed up even more. FOL

By zzz_fml | 0

#22042 - Sunday 8 March 2009 22:55

I'm in this situation right now.. only he loves another girl. stupid me.

Reply

chocolatepr | 4

#4278276 - Monday 9 April 2012 2:07

that sucks

By User__Name | 0

#37838 - Tuesday 17 March 2009 19:53

aww.

By fallchild007 | 0

#41526 - Thursday 19 March 2009 1:22

I can relate. I used to like someone and we never told each other - 3 years later we found out we had liked each other. haha.