Health: Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever,...

By depraved - 08/01/2009 11:21 - United States

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 241

You deserved it 4 741

Health

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Same thing different taste

By littlemisstiny - 29/08/2009 08:48 - Ireland

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 785

You deserved it 3 969

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 150

You deserved it 4 529

By stutson - 04/06/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 879

You deserved it 2 246

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 729

By eewww - 06/05/2011 15:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 772

You deserved it 3 701

By herzausstein - 21/12/2009 22:36 - Belgium

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 642

You deserved it 7 090

By LetsMakeLove - 10/06/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 530

You deserved it 76 845

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 98

By babygurl69 - 20/01/2009 21:38 - Canada

Today, I woke up with a hangover, but went to school anyway without showering, applying makeup, and still wearing my pajama bottoms. While taking the subway, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend who I hadn't seen a year. His new girlfriend looked at me and said, "You look... tired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 24 002

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 9 939

enclosedrose226 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Today, i was on the train and two fat women were amusing me by exchanging sex stories, when this ugly ass stanger beside me leaned over and threw up all over me. FML

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:51

Big girls need love too... lol.

Comments

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:51

Big girls need love too... lol.

atemis 3

Sunday 4 July 2010 17:42

they just gotta pay

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 12:13

shoulda attempted to turn around and throw up on them.

allornothing93 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 3:41

# 11 i think he threw up because of the hangover...i believe it

FMLgirl_fml 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 19:15

Grow up

firegiant 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 19:02

Are you sure they weren't trying to get a job working with Blackberrys?

Greenguitarday13 1

Friday 1 April 2011 16:24

Where they using Blackberries?

Greenguitarday13 1

Friday 1 April 2011 16:35

Damn you auto correct in meant were!

humorizer 14

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:26

hahahhahahhaha.... RIM. I get it. Alas, 99% of the population here probably didn't get that joke. :(

resawins 0

Monday 23 March 2009 3:28

oy!! that's just nasty!!

ClevelandRock 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 5:58

"Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever" Wow, the sentence isn't even finished and I already know whose fault it is.

enclosedrose226 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Today, i was on the train and two fat women were amusing me by exchanging sex stories, when this ugly ass stanger beside me leaned over and threw up all over me. FML