Health: Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever,...

By depraved - 08/01/2009 11:21 - United States

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 252

You deserved it 4 747

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Same thing different taste

By kstaa - 10/02/2010 11:47 - Australia

Today, I was sitting on the train wondering what that putrid smell was. As I got off the train I realized there was vomit all over the back of my seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 171

You deserved it 4 539

By eewww - 06/05/2011 15:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 789

You deserved it 3 707

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 9 953

Lightweight

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 18:00

Today, I threw up on the subway. Luckily, because I hadn’t eaten all week, it was just the seven pints of beer I'd had previously chugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 1 633

Ralph and Huey

By wookieewhosshe - 12/06/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I was on a train when I felt the unsettling urge to vomit. I ran to the toilet, but there was someone in there, with another waiting in the corridor. Out of time, and luck, I projectile-vomited into a bin built into the wall. The man waiting for the toilet looked truly traumatised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 88

By herzausstein - 21/12/2009 22:36 - Belgium

Today, I took the train home. When seated, I suddenly noticed something wet on my seat. Without looking, I thought it was water since it was snowing outside. Guess again. It was vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 655

You deserved it 7 099

By hnickell93 - 09/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Visalia

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 5 406

By theRoomie - 02/11/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 2 839

College life

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 11:33 - Germany

Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 993

You deserved it 2 363

Banished

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 20:00

Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 807

enclosedrose226 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Today, i was on the train and two fat women were amusing me by exchanging sex stories, when this ugly ass stanger beside me leaned over and threw up all over me. FML

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:51

Big girls need love too... lol.

Comments

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 15:51

Big girls need love too... lol.

atemis 3

Sunday 4 July 2010 17:42

they just gotta pay

Eir_fml 1

Wednesday 18 February 2009 12:13

shoulda attempted to turn around and throw up on them.

allornothing93 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 3:41

# 11 i think he threw up because of the hangover...i believe it

FMLgirl_fml 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 19:15

Grow up

firegiant 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 19:02

Are you sure they weren't trying to get a job working with Blackberrys?

Greenguitarday13 1

Friday 1 April 2011 16:24

Where they using Blackberries?

Greenguitarday13 1

Friday 1 April 2011 16:35

Damn you auto correct in meant were!

humorizer 14

Wednesday 18 March 2009 8:26

hahahhahahhaha.... RIM. I get it. Alas, 99% of the population here probably didn't get that joke. :(

resawins 0

Monday 23 March 2009 3:28

oy!! that's just nasty!!

ClevelandRock 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 5:58

"Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever" Wow, the sentence isn't even finished and I already know whose fault it is.

enclosedrose226 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:05

Today, i was on the train and two fat women were amusing me by exchanging sex stories, when this ugly ass stanger beside me leaned over and threw up all over me. FML