By anonymous - 12/08/2009 16:14 - Canada
Add a comment - Reply to : #
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
I throw my hands up at this one. Everyone agrees she's probably dating her brother and even if she was dating another girl, only stupid homophobic pricks would give a toss.
Sigh @ your dumb. The post does not imply that she is a lesbian. it implies she was going to her boyfriends house all along, and said it was 'Kates' so her mom wouldnt be protective and such. At any rate, fail parent. If you never met 'Kate' EVER in 2 years, how could you not know there was some problem there?
The OP doesn't think that her daughter has been dating a female for the past two years, she thinks that Kate is made up and is actually a Kyle or something. No one said anything remotely homophobic. Given what little we know about the situation, I think it's logical to assume that Kate does in fact have a brother. If not, OP, if you have a problem with it (the fact that she has a boyfriend, not the lying, because I know I'D have a problem with the lying.), I'd say have a talk with her about it and don't drive her over for sleepovers anymore.
why do you seem to think its wrong for a 15 yr old to be dating?? other than the fact that she May have been lying about whose house she was going to (which most likely Isn't the case, its probly kates brother) there is nothing wrong with a 15 yr old having a boyfriend as long as the parents are smart enough to meet the kid and his parents!
Now, now, let's all not assume she's a bad parent. Maybe she did meet Kate. Maybe Kate came over to their house and played, then she wouldn't think anything strange about her daughter sleeping at 'Kate's' house (AKA, boyfriend's house disgused as her friends) Oooh so tricky daughter you have there
Some places don't have ways to get transportation on your own without having a license and since she's fifteen, she can't have one yet. I'm fifteen and where i live, i can't get anywhere without a parent driving me because the closest bus stop is a mile away. I can't even get to school without a parent driving me because my school doesn't provide transportation. And i know, even if i could ride a bus places, my mom's too overprotective to let me.
That's just rude. I know many people that have dated since they were fifteen but haven't done a thing but kiss maybe once or twice and they were sweet simple pecks. I had my first boyfriend when I was fifteen and I didn't do anything awful. I held his hand, kissed him on the cheek, chatted with him, etc. Just because the -young adult-, NOT child, is fifteen doesn't meant they aren't going to boink every single person they date. They can be responsible. Get out of your turtle shell and realize that times have changed, then again, young girls used to marry at the age of twelve or thirteen! Back @OP, agreed with everyone else, she could be dating Kate's brother. But YDI for either: A: Bad Parenting. You should always know who your daughter is staying over with. Especially since she was 13, you should know her friends, introduce yourself to her friend's parents, etc. Just so you know where your child is and that they are safe. B: You're coming to quick on the conclusions that you should talk to her rather than posting on here.
How irresponsible and careless. How could you not have met "Kate" at least ONCE after dropping her off there for 2 years?! It could've been a 30 year old man's house or maybe she gets high there or whatever. Seriously, you should weigh out the possibilities before doing something this dangerous. Look after your daughter before she goes astray, honestly. WOW. You could not have deserved this any more.
yeah i agree...i mean you don't deserve it. but i don't think i agree with a FYL. but i'm 17 and my mom isn't SUPER strict, but i know she wouldn't fall for that.. she likes to talk to parents and shit. and to think she was 13 and you didn't ask to talk to parents?? you should try to be more involved. rather than just dropping your kids off at a "friend's house"
you can't "make" someone act 'like the kid they are' being super strict will ONLY push your kid away and cause them to rebel more. 15 is not too young to start dating though lying about it since age 13 definitely is. however, you would think after two years the OP would eventually ask to meet Kate or wonder why Kate never stayed at their house.
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.Show it anyway
That seems overprotective to me, and while being cautious and caring is necessary in parenting, being overprotective does more damage than good. It's all about balance.
Totally agree. It's not a matter of being over protective, it's a matter of being a good parent, and being an active participant in the life of her child. If she had taken that initiative two years ago, then the situation most likely could have been avoided. Parents are so worried about being friends with their children and giving them freedom to roam free that they stop being PARENTS. OP, double check JUST IN CASE her bf is "Kate's" brother or something, and if your belief that you daughter has been lying is true, then ground her little fast ass, and keep her in the house except for school.
I agree with zolz. Since when do parents NOT know who their child is staying with? That was just a fail right there. Even when I stayed with my penpal, my mother spoke with her mother several times, even though I'm 18 (but, I was just recently so, and of course before then I'd had the very sad life if not really straying too far from home on my own, so I understand). I must say, even if it's Kate's brother, you definitely deserve it for not even knowing.
If t had been 2 months and not 2 years I would say FYL, but 2 years? Did you ever meet this 'kate'? My sister has a 12 year old and knows the parents of most of his friends. If he started having regular sleep overs my sister would check on the parents. Sorry but 2 years? thats not good, you should have been more involved.
It's not being overprotective to meet the parents or something before you let your kid stay at someone else's house for a sleepover. You don't think it's necessary that at some point in two years to meet who is living in the house? Two reasons why the OP deserves it 1. You're completely oblivious to what is going on in your kid's life and for two years you didn't notice that you never saw Kate in her house...or for possibly even knowing who Kate is. 2. Second scenario, you still don't know if Kate lives there or if she has a brother but you assumed that your daughter lied to you for two years instead of considering that Kate might have a brother.
I have to disagree. I am 16 and my parents have chosen to be overprotective, checking up on me at all times, and for this reason I do not have a social life outside of school. All of the people I know have parents that don't give a crap where their kids are, or what they are doing. I don't blame my parents; I completely understand that they just want to protect me. It has been my choice to limit my social interactions outside of school, simply to avoid the embarrassment of my parents 'introducing themselves to fellow parents'. If the daughter was doing well at school, her behaviour was very good, and she has proven that she can be trusted, there should be no reason to pry into her social life. I don't believe the OP deserves it, if she was trying to give her daughter a little bit of freedom (but only if the daughter had proven herself). On the other hand, if the mother was being deliberately negligent (too wrapped up in her own life), then yes she deserves it.
"All of the people I know have parents that don't give a crap where their kids are, or what they are doing." And it's these kinds of parents that bring about law-breaking or kidnapped children, because they could give a shit less if their child doesn't show up for a few days. It's not being overprotective to at least know who the child is hanging around with. I don't mean they have to know their life-story, but they should at least see their faces once. Also, haven't you ever heard the phrase "it's always the quiet ones"? Just because someone does well in school and has "proven trustworthy" doesn't mean they're not going to get into trouble.
Don't get me wrong, to an extent I do agree with you. But the people I am talking about, are not rat-bags or drug-takers, they are straight-A students who are reasonably mature. Being protective is very important, and many of the problems we have in society are caused by under-protective parents that don't give a shit about their kids. But parents need to be reasonable, and show an understanding of what it is like to be a teenager in this society. To be honest, I do agree with you - but as a teenager trying to achieve individuality and freedom, admitting it is difficult. The mother in this case may have made a mistake by not checking up on her daughter, but no parent is perfect. I'm sure she means well, or else she would not be posting this on FML.
Yes, I can understand, you are 16 after all. At this point, you should be allowed more freedom, I would think. However the OP's daughter was 13 at the time, so I would think the "giving more freedom" thing isn't quite going to apply. Possibly now, but not then... well, I guess not now either if the daughter was lying, lol
133, I have the utmost respect for you for realizing that your parents are overprotective but that there's nothing you can do about it. You respect why they are misguided and you've chosen to maintain your independence while remaining obedient instead of trying to sneak around them. 134, You are so authoritarian it's really quite sad.
Yea dumb person, why wouldn't you think logically, I mean even if your not going to throw that logically into your head, you should at least be thinking... I think all the time about lions, and munchkins, (the type that's in the wizard of oz, not the real live ones, because that would be creepy), cake, fritos, volleyball, and the beach, and bouncy balls, and fish, and american gladiators (the original version, not the new one, although I haven't seen the new one, I just heard that it wasn't as good as the older one, with the guys who have mullets) so pretty much, you need to turn your brain on and think of all you can think, because if your not using it, it's a waste and if your not thinking about other things to come, than you will just be that person, that doesn't think and you don't want to be that person do you? DO YOU??
analyze, a word in which one thinks and tells you about what has happened or what is going on. I'm going off on a lot of tangents while "analyzing" as you call it so then what is it called? Possibly Random Analyzing, or Psychic fever, or maybe even elephant hunter. Yep that's what I do, I hunt elephants, and this website is my jungle, it gives me shelter, food, clothes, and best of all it gives me elephants to hunt because without that I would sid around all day and play xbox, except there is no xbox in the jungle, you silly goose. So I am the elephant hunter, and it is my duty to bring down the big elephants and to feed my family, I must provide so I do the dangerous job that most other people pass up. Personally I look at it as a gift, and so let the hunting continue... This one actually makes some sense if you think about it, so than I looked at the duck and told him in our secret language cluck click cluck clucccck meaning yea broseph that's what I'm talkin about, you da man and I love hanging out with you man, yous a cool cat, and I'm honored to be talking to you. and of course he said, I know that's what makes us a good team, I'm a cool cat, except I'm a DUCK! try and put that one together
It IS a big deal. You're handing off your child to complete strangers. This is exactly the setting where kids get molested by their friends' older brothers or dads. It's not like it happens at every sleepover, but things like this do happen ALL the time. The mom might as well of given her kid to a stranger on the street to take home with them. By not checking the family out ever, she basically did just that.
This is a bit of a tough one, but I'm going to have to go with YDI for not taking more of an interest in your daughter's life and not insisting on meeting the parents the first time you dropped her off for a sleepover.