FAIL!

maybe she's just dating her friends brother

think positve xD

I know? What if Kates brother and her are going out. Ask to meet Kate.

OP:
I totally agree. She's probably dating Kate's brother.
If she had been smart enough to trick you since she was 13, she wouldn't make a slip now.

YDI for being an irresponsible parent.

While I agree that it's probably Kate's brother whom she is dating, she still fails as a parent for not knowing that Kate has a brother. I mean, did she never bother asking anything about this "Kate" person? Way to not know anything about who your kids hang out with.

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Sigh @ your dumb.
The post does not imply that she is a lesbian. it implies she was going to her boyfriends house all along, and said it was 'Kates' so her mom wouldnt be protective and such.
At any rate, fail parent. If you never met 'Kate' EVER in 2 years, how could you not know there was some problem there?

The OP doesn't think that her daughter has been dating a female for the past two years, she thinks that Kate is made up and is actually a Kyle or something. No one said anything remotely homophobic.

Given what little we know about the situation, I think it's logical to assume that Kate does in fact have a brother.

If not, OP, if you have a problem with it (the fact that she has a boyfriend, not the lying, because I know I'D have a problem with the lying.), I'd say have a talk with her about it and don't drive her over for sleepovers anymore.

agreed YDI big time

why is your 15 year old dating someone?
are they doing in on the kitchen sink?
if not then she shouldnt be dating - she's 15! make her act like the kid that she is!

why do you seem to think its wrong for a 15 yr old to be dating?? other than the fact that she May have been lying about whose house she was going to (which most likely Isn't the case, its probly kates brother) there is nothing wrong with a 15 yr old having a boyfriend as long as the parents are smart enough to meet the kid and his parents!

well IF there really is a brother, then maybe they have been dating for a lot longer? I think it's a little weird for a 13-15 y/o to be dating but that's just me. I realize other people have different opinions.

200 years ago, people were married by 15.

That's exactly what I was thinking- she's dating her friend's brother.

Jet

at 15 who gets a ride anymore..
i started taking the bus and going places ON MY OWN since i was 13.
theres lots more...freedom.

Now, now, let's all not assume she's a bad parent. Maybe she did meet Kate. Maybe Kate came over to their house and played, then she wouldn't think anything strange about her daughter sleeping at 'Kate's' house (AKA, boyfriend's house disgused as her friends) Oooh so tricky daughter you have there

The fact that you took the bus by yourself at 13 just makes your parents irresponsible. "Who gets a ride at 15?" Someone whose parents love them.

Except maybe in the OP's case, she just sounds stupid.

Depends on where she lives. I don't live in a place where buses come.

im 17 n im still not allowed to sleep over anyones house.yay me

Some places don't have ways to get transportation on your own without having a license and since she's fifteen, she can't have one yet. I'm fifteen and where i live, i can't get anywhere without a parent driving me because the closest bus stop is a mile away. I can't even get to school without a parent driving me because my school doesn't provide transportation. And i know, even if i could ride a bus places, my mom's too overprotective to let me.

Lots of us don't live somewhere that provides public transportation, the closest city that has it is Knoxville and it sucks there. I couldn't go places on my own until I was 16 and had my drivers license and even then I had to be home by 9 or before dark depending on the time of year.

haha, i live in knoxville! and public transport is not big here AT ALL. it's not used and is very limited.

That's just rude. I know many people that have dated since they were fifteen but haven't done a thing but kiss maybe once or twice and they were sweet simple pecks.

I had my first boyfriend when I was fifteen and I didn't do anything awful. I held his hand, kissed him on the cheek, chatted with him, etc.

Just because the -young adult-, NOT child, is fifteen doesn't meant they aren't going to boink every single person they date. They can be responsible.

Get out of your turtle shell and realize that times have changed, then again, young girls used to marry at the age of twelve or thirteen!


Back @OP, agreed with everyone else, she could be dating Kate's brother. But YDI for either:

A: Bad Parenting. You should always know who your daughter is staying over with. Especially since she was 13, you should know her friends, introduce yourself to her friend's parents, etc. Just so you know where your child is and that they are safe.

B: You're coming to quick on the conclusions that you should talk to her rather than posting on here.

Seriously why would you let your daughter sleep at someone's house and you have never met them. YDI for being irresponsible and just plain stupid.

haaaa your daughters a slut.

@164: FYL, you should post that one

@ #164, FYL for having over protective parents. You're prolly going to go on a rampage in college... Someone'll probably end up pregnant just because your parents wanted to shield you from life...

How irresponsible and careless. How could you not have met "Kate" at least ONCE after dropping her off there for 2 years?! It could've been a 30 year old man's house or maybe she gets high there or whatever. Seriously, you should weigh out the possibilities before doing something this dangerous. Look after your daughter before she goes astray, honestly. WOW. You could not have deserved this any more.

Who the hell told you it was wrong for a 15 year old to be dating? Dating isn't just about sex you know it's ok for someone younger to date just not have sex.

yeah i agree...i mean you don't deserve it. but i don't think i agree with a FYL. but i'm 17 and my mom isn't SUPER strict, but i know she wouldn't fall for that.. she likes to talk to parents and shit. and to think she was 13 and you didn't ask to talk to parents?? you should try to be more involved. rather than just dropping your kids off at a "friend's house"

200 years ago not many people lived past 40.
15 is too young to date.

For not being able to sleep over her bf's house? maybe #164 will become a slut in college...but i doubt it. Wouldn't it be worse if she/he got pregnant/got someone pregnant now?

I understand why OP might be upset that her daughter has been sleeping with her boyfriend for 2 years, but shouldn't she be happy her daughter has finally come to trust her enough that she's telling her the truth?

WWOW you are our GOD.

ummmm listen #127 i started dating at 14. i know someone who's in 5th grade and they're dating already. idk if theres any kissing involved with that but still..no one listen to that rule anymore. so you're retarded

umm #127 i've been dating since i was 14. and i know people who are in 5th grade who are dating already. idk how far that's going but..yeah. if you still believe in that not dating when ur 15 stuff then you're just retarded

and i didnt mean to post that twice..

i know people younger than me that have dated for years [ without sex ].
i also know adults that can't even last that long in a relationship.
so really, i think that anyone should be able to experience dating, no matter what their age.

agreed! act ur age! I'm not allowed to fate till I'm a freshmen!

15 year olds have boyfriends...

200 years ago, it was 200 years ago. we live in modern times. a 15 year old was more responsible and mature back then than the average 25 year old is today.

you can't "make" someone act 'like the kid they are' being super strict will ONLY push your kid away and cause them to rebel more. 15 is not too young to start dating though lying about it since age 13 definitely is. however, you would think after two years the OP would eventually ask to meet Kate or wonder why Kate never stayed at their house.

One of my grandmothers was married at 13 and the other at 16...the latter is still married to the same man 60 years later. And a friend's mom married his dad when she was 14. So I can't really say I see a problem with a 15 year old dating.

Same her

hahaha wow. You fail.

To be fair, 13 year old sex is delicious.

Agreed, especially if it isn't consensual, then it's the best!!

you guys are both gross. Preteen sex is disgusting.

13 = preteen? what?

Maybe he and Kate are siblings.

omg, that sucks

Yupp, rooky mistake, you hate to see it happen...

I'm gonna use that 1. this site helps a lot. Thanks!!

so what? its her boyfriend. get over it

you should talk to her. ;)

third fourth fifth sixth

Haha oh fuck, good luck raising a tart.

The daughter was the easy girl in class at 13... Whore

This is a bit of a tough one, but I'm going to have to go with YDI for not taking more of an interest in your daughter's life and not insisting on meeting the parents the first time you dropped her off for a sleepover.

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Totally agree. It's not a matter of being over protective, it's a matter of being a good parent, and being an active participant in the life of her child. If she had taken that initiative two years ago, then the situation most likely could have been avoided. Parents are so worried about being friends with their children and giving them freedom to roam free that they stop being PARENTS.

OP, double check JUST IN CASE her bf is "Kate's" brother or something, and if your belief that you daughter has been lying is true, then ground her little fast ass, and keep her in the house except for school.

I agree with zolz. Since when do parents NOT know who their child is staying with? That was just a fail right there.
Even when I stayed with my penpal, my mother spoke with her mother several times, even though I'm 18 (but, I was just recently so, and of course before then I'd had the very sad life if not really straying too far from home on my own, so I understand).

I must say, even if it's Kate's brother, you definitely deserve it for not even knowing.

If t had been 2 months and not 2 years I would say FYL, but 2 years? Did you ever meet this 'kate'? My sister has a 12 year old and knows the parents of most of his friends. If he started having regular sleep overs my sister would check on the parents. Sorry but 2 years? thats not good, you should have been more involved.

It's not being overprotective to meet the parents or something before you let your kid stay at someone else's house for a sleepover. You don't think it's necessary that at some point in two years to meet who is living in the house?

Two reasons why the OP deserves it
1. You're completely oblivious to what is going on in your kid's life and for two years you didn't notice that you never saw Kate in her house...or for possibly even knowing who Kate is.

2. Second scenario, you still don't know if Kate lives there or if she has a brother but you assumed that your daughter lied to you for two years instead of considering that Kate might have a brother.

oh my god! I just thought of something else...what if her daughter is lying about the boyfriend and she's been lesbian with Kate for the past two years...? but not likely

She sent a then-12-year-old to multiple sleepovers without ever meeting Kate or her parents. Doing so would not have been overprotective. It would have been non-negligent.

(That's what I thought too. XD)

How is it being overprotective to want to know where your child is spending the night?

it's not overprotective. my parents used to always ask to meet the parents before i slept over at their house. especially at 13.
they don't do that when i go hang out for a couple hours. but sleeping over in a whole other story.

UMM how is meeting the parents of your child's friend overprotective? especially if said child was sleeping over at someone elses house?

I have to disagree.

I am 16 and my parents have chosen to be overprotective, checking up on me at all times, and for this reason I do not have a social life outside of school. All of the people I know have parents that don't give a crap where their kids are, or what they are doing.
I don't blame my parents; I completely understand that they just want to protect me. It has been my choice to limit my social interactions outside of school, simply to avoid the embarrassment of my parents 'introducing themselves to fellow parents'.

If the daughter was doing well at school, her behaviour was very good, and she has proven that she can be trusted, there should be no reason to pry into her social life. I don't believe the OP deserves it, if she was trying to give her daughter a little bit of freedom (but only if the daughter had proven herself). On the other hand, if the mother was being deliberately negligent (too wrapped up in her own life), then yes she deserves it.

"All of the people I know have parents that don't give a crap where their kids are, or what they are doing."
And it's these kinds of parents that bring about law-breaking or kidnapped children, because they could give a shit less if their child doesn't show up for a few days.

It's not being overprotective to at least know who the child is hanging around with. I don't mean they have to know their life-story, but they should at least see their faces once.

Also, haven't you ever heard the phrase "it's always the quiet ones"? Just because someone does well in school and has "proven trustworthy" doesn't mean they're not going to get into trouble.

Yup, pretty much.

Don't get me wrong, to an extent I do agree with you.
But the people I am talking about, are not rat-bags or drug-takers, they are straight-A students who are reasonably mature.

Being protective is very important, and many of the problems we have in society are caused by under-protective parents that don't give a shit about their kids. But parents need to be reasonable, and show an understanding of what it is like to be a teenager in this society.

To be honest, I do agree with you - but as a teenager trying to achieve individuality and freedom, admitting it is difficult.

The mother in this case may have made a mistake by not checking up on her daughter, but no parent is perfect. I'm sure she means well, or else she would not be posting this on FML.

Yes, I can understand, you are 16 after all. At this point, you should be allowed more freedom, I would think.
However the OP's daughter was 13 at the time, so I would think the "giving more freedom" thing isn't quite going to apply. Possibly now, but not then... well, I guess not now either if the daughter was lying, lol

wow ur good at math. shes 15 now, shes been going to kates for 2 years. 15-2=13, not 12

133, I have the utmost respect for you for realizing that your parents are overprotective but that there's nothing you can do about it. You respect why they are misguided and you've chosen to maintain your independence while remaining obedient instead of trying to sneak around them.

134, You are so authoritarian it's really quite sad.

I think the proper term is "FHL" for "F her life."

what does op stand fir

Okay I way overly agree that its not overpretective. I mean my mom knows all of my good friends and most of their parents. and I'm perfectly fine with that. and personally I don't think her daughter should have gone to anyones house if her mother didn't know them or their gaurdian.

I know rite parents let their kidsdo waterer they want these days even sleeping in. a strangers house

awesomeeee :D

Way to meet your daughter's friend Kate and her parents as well. YDI

the post never said that she never met this kate person it says that the house she took her daughter to was supposedly where kate lived

Is it at all possible that this "Kate" you do not think exists has a brother?

Thank you! That was my first thought.

This made me actually think about that. Kate might have a brother, huh.
But really, my Mom always takes the time out of her day to meet the parents of new friends.
You didn't do this because...?

exactally what i was thinking, YDI for not thinking logically!

Yea dumb person, why wouldn't you think logically, I mean even if your not going to throw that logically into your head, you should at least be thinking... I think all the time about lions, and munchkins, (the type that's in the wizard of oz, not the real live ones, because that would be creepy), cake, fritos, volleyball, and the beach, and bouncy balls, and fish, and american gladiators (the original version, not the new one, although I haven't seen the new one, I just heard that it wasn't as good as the older one, with the guys who have mullets) so pretty much, you need to turn your brain on and think of all you can think, because if your not using it, it's a waste and if your not thinking about other things to come, than you will just be that person, that doesn't think and you don't want to be that person do you? DO YOU??

WTF is up with you and your long fucking comments?! Holy shit you over analyze everything

analyze, a word in which one thinks and tells you about what has happened or what is going on. I'm going off on a lot of tangents while "analyzing" as you call it so then what is it called? Possibly Random Analyzing, or Psychic fever, or maybe even elephant hunter. Yep that's what I do, I hunt elephants, and this website is my jungle, it gives me shelter, food, clothes, and best of all it gives me elephants to hunt because without that I would sid around all day and play xbox, except there is no xbox in the jungle, you silly goose. So I am the elephant hunter, and it is my duty to bring down the big elephants and to feed my family, I must provide so I do the dangerous job that most other people pass up. Personally I look at it as a gift, and so let the hunting continue... This one actually makes some sense if you think about it, so than I looked at the duck and told him in our secret language cluck click cluck clucccck meaning yea broseph that's what I'm talkin about, you da man and I love hanging out with you man, yous a cool cat, and I'm honored to be talking to you. and of course he said, I know that's what makes us a good team, I'm a cool cat, except I'm a DUCK! try and put that one together

wtf man no one reads comments longer than 3 lines, keep it short

she wouldnt know. she clearly doesnt bother knowing her daughter's friends or she'd be a good mom and not have delivered her virginity away like a pizza.

It never occurred to you to meet the people to which you were handing over the responsibility and safety of your 13 year old daughter?

It's just a sleepover, not a huge deal.

Apparently, it is a big deal considering her daughter might have been sexually active behind her back for the last two years.

It IS a big deal. You're handing off your child to complete strangers. This is exactly the setting where kids get molested by their friends' older brothers or dads. It's not like it happens at every sleepover, but things like this do happen ALL the time. The mom might as well of given her kid to a stranger on the street to take home with them. By not checking the family out ever, she basically did just that.

I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be sexually active. I mean the boyfriend would have to be living with parents at that young age.

Yes, but maybe his parents don't care. That's why the OP should have checked in with the parents: to make sure they're going to have the same standards for taking care of her daughter as she does (or, apparently, doesn't).

Plenty of people have sex in their parents' house. Haven't you read this site? It's full of FMLs along those lines.