By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 07:39 - Australia
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YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET IT BITCH. ACCEPT IT. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ITS A FUCKING TURTLE. EXCEPT THST ITS FUCKING GREEN AND HAS A SHELL LIKE A HARD CONDOM. GET IT IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD AND MOVE THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR SHITTY AS FUCKPOT LIFE. Oh god I had caps lock on :O oops *surprised face*
THREESOME! It's going to be awkward for your dad that this guy is moving in and both his wife and daughter want to **** him. I guess for free plumbing services, it's worth it! The pros can always do a much better job with the snake than us amateurs.
Ahurrhurr... better job with the snake. Man, OP, why in the world wouldn't she tell you before now? I mean, I can understand hiding a potential mate from children if you're unsure about how it'll work, but just suddenly popping up with moving in? She could have at least mentioned it while he was there.
Rule of thumb: If the name of your occupation starts with the letter "P", you're gonna get laid and be featured in a porno.
President? Oh 'Bama! Poet? A poetry reading? I looooove poetry. Philosopher? He came. He saw. He came again. Pedologist? This guy asks you to soil your underwear before sex. Piano tuner? This person orgasms in middle C every time. Kinda creepy. Try it. Physicist? With your mom and the plumber, you can solve the three-body problem! Pediatrician? Let's not go there.
Yes, paleontologist. They really know how to handle old bones. Hot DILF action. Podiatrist? Paul Bunion swings his mighty axe. Foot fetish action. Provost? Hot coeds! Periodontist? You can't have good oral without healthy gums. Philatelist? Non-stop licking. Politician? Non-stop *******.
aback, I agree that proctologist is "ew," but anal is pretty popular **** (how's that for alliterative P's?) And bladebot, you can work in pediatrician without going illegal. The porno pens: MILF: Oh, doctor, thank you for saving my child. I don't have insurance although President Barack Obama is doing his best to help me but the awful Republicans and the Astroturf right-wing movement are preventing him from doing the what we put him in office to do, so how can I ever repay you? (Removes top.) This may get edited in post-production.