By Anonymous - 12/08/2009 07:39 - Australia

Today, at the breakfast table my mum asked me what I thought about the plumber who came to our place a couple of weeks ago. I told her that I thought he was really cute and how hard I tried to flirt with him, she nodded and told me that he is her new boyfriend and might move in with us soon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 195
You deserved it 5 954

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AWKWARD TURTLE.

wow, thats awkward, so is your mom going for a younger guy or you an older? Either way thats just weird

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AWKWARD TURTLE.

Stole the words right outta my mouth.

I dont get "turtle"

YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET IT BITCH. ACCEPT IT. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ITS A FUCKING TURTLE. EXCEPT THST ITS FUCKING GREEN AND HAS A SHELL LIKE A HARD CONDOM. GET IT IN YOUR GODDAMN HEAD AND MOVE THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR SHITTY AS FUCKPOT LIFE. Oh god I had caps lock on :O oops *surprised face*

81- you will probably be the first physical/cyber bully

No its awkward tuna

wow, thats awkward, so is your mom going for a younger guy or you an older? Either way thats just weird

that's..quite funny.

Did she know that part beforehand, cause if so, thats a step over-the line. Did I say A step, I meant several.

THREESOME! It's going to be awkward for your dad that this guy is moving in and both his wife and daughter want to fuck him. I guess for free plumbing services, it's worth it! The pros can always do a much better job with the snake than us amateurs.

Ahurrhurr... better job with the snake. Man, OP, why in the world wouldn't she tell you before now? I mean, I can understand hiding a potential mate from children if you're unsure about how it'll work, but just suddenly popping up with moving in? She could have at least mentioned it while he was there.

This plumber is really lucky.

Lololoolololololololololololololol

Rule of thumb: If the name of your occupation starts with the letter "P", you're gonna get laid and be featured in a porno.

Even paleontologist?

President? Oh 'Bama! Poet? A poetry reading? I looooove poetry. Philosopher? He came. He saw. He came again. Pedologist? This guy asks you to soil your underwear before sex. Piano tuner? This person orgasms in middle C every time. Kinda creepy. Try it. Physicist? With your mom and the plumber, you can solve the three-body problem! Pediatrician? Let's not go there.

#14: I bestow upon you the reward of 10 Internets for making me laugh.

Yes, paleontologist. They really know how to handle old bones. Hot DILF action. Podiatrist? Paul Bunion swings his mighty axe. Foot fetish action. Provost? Hot coeds! Periodontist? You can't have good oral without healthy gums. Philatelist? Non-stop licking. Politician? Non-stop fucking.

Proctologist? Ew.

aback, I agree that proctologist is "ew," but anal is pretty popular porn (how's that for alliterative P's?) And bladebot, you can work in pediatrician without going illegal. The porno pens: MILF: Oh, doctor, thank you for saving my child. I don't have insurance although President Barack Obama is doing his best to help me but the awful Republicans and the Astroturf right-wing movement are preventing him from doing the what we put him in office to do, so how can I ever repay you? (Removes top.) This may get edited in post-production.

Hmm... try jobs along the lines of: Police officer Pool boy Pizza delivery guy Plumber Professor Or Psychologist (http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF233-Psychoanalyst.jpg)

Hahaha, #14 FTW. But you deserve a better reward than internets. The internet is full of awful stuff.

Best FML comments ever. Props.

police officer? bondage! pool boy? he'll get you all wet,but he can also give you a towel to dry off! plumber? he can fix any leakage! professer? you can do math. he'll add the bed,you subtract your clothes,divide your legs,and you'll multiplyy!

pizza delivery guy

Oh my god, you just made my life.

I learned that from the pizza man

FYL your step-dad is a plumber

Hm. Your mum grew up in Queensland, yeah? Sucks to be you.

maybe you should clean his pipes, you know what i mean?