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Hi, I'm the OP. To clarify, he comes from a terrible home. Mother is a druggie, father is abusive. Doesn't get much attention, so I decided to give him a little. I didn't think, however, he would get upset every time I tried to do something else. He is a really sweet kid, he just has a lot of energy and no one wants to spend any time with him so the energy is built up. And by "cries," I didn't mean tears, (his father would hit him whenever he cried and tell him to be a man, so he doesn't cry) I meant crying as in whining.

By Lady of Sorrows - 31/01/2009 20:26 - United States

Today, I just went to the bathroom and someone thought I was a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 058

You deserved it 3 302

Thanks!

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 13:54 - Norway - Oslo

Today, my car is being repaired, so I had to catch a bus to work. When the bus came, the driver pulled toward the curb and gunned it through a large puddle of water, then pulled away and continued down the road, leaving me soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 054

You deserved it 1 577

Mix up

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 21:10 - United States - York

Today, I picked up my daughter from preschool. Her teacher handed me her nap blankets and mentioned there was an extra article of clothing I might want to take home. I looked in-between the blankets and saw a pair of my giant granny panties that had gotten mixed in with her stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 053

You deserved it 4 746

Law and order

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 07:03 - United States - Reno

Today, at the age of 20, I still have a bed time. It is strictly enforced by my cat via endless meows if I am up past 11 pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 052

You deserved it 4 631

Intervention

By nazooer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 051

You deserved it 4 050

Doggy dog world

By badwolf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 4 288

By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 1 950

By ringrash - 14/01/2016 06:17 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 4 371

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 15:41 - United States - Apex

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 048

You deserved it 8 268

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 047

You deserved it 1 704

By auto boogie man - 19/11/2015 16:44 - United States - New York

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 044

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 043

You deserved it 52 970

Nice to see you

By eyegouger15 - 13/11/2015 16:32 - United States

Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 043

You deserved it 2 618

By aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss - 26/08/2015 13:55 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 042

You deserved it 2 538

By EyesOffMe - 07/09/2009 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 042

You deserved it 59 047

By Anonymous - 03/08/2015 03:25 - United States - Waterford

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 041

You deserved it 2 245

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 041

You deserved it 2 319

What would you do?

By DatAss - 15/01/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 040

You deserved it 2 472

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 15:10 - Canada

Today, I propositioned my boyfriend of two years to have sex with me in the shower to spice up our love life. He said that he was really busy. He was playing Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 040

You deserved it 6 082

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 038

You deserved it 67 260

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 12:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 038

You deserved it 4 015

By oh gee, you don't say - 15/12/2012 18:43 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 038

You deserved it 4 668

By Anonymous - 30/07/2015 01:50 - United States - Schenectady

Today, I woke up on the couch and realized I had fallen asleep while doing laundry. Ran to the laundry room, and found all my clothes gone. I really wish I hadn't been doing a load of all my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 036

You deserved it 3 190

By M1CHA3L_MY3RZ - 02/03/2016 01:22 - United States

Today, I donated a dollar to a kids charity at Lowe's. The cashier handed me a star to sign my name, I signed it and gave it back to her. She looked at me with disgust and asked what was wrong with me. I had to pull out my license to prove to her that my name is really Michael Myers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 036

You deserved it 1 477

M1CHA3L_MY3RZ tells us more.

M1CHA3L_MY3RZ 16

Wednesday 2 March 2016 19:57

yeah she apologized after I pulled my license out and proved it to her. then she just had this blank stare on her face. lmao I hear something about my name at least once a day, most the time it's stupid but there have been some good ones on occasion

By Bubbles_the_klut - 07/07/2015 03:21 - United States - Oswego

Today, after my boss has gotten in the habit of calling me "bubble wrap girl" at work because I'm clumsy and he claims I need to be covered in bubble wrap for my own protection, I have just probably broken two toes by dropping a hairdryer on my foot. I will never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 036

You deserved it 4 565

Bubbles_the_klutz tells us more.

Bubbles_the_klutz 9

Wednesday 8 July 2015 7:31

OP here, thankfully my toes are not broken after all. And for those asking how a hair dryer could possibly do that, it's easy. The more times you break a bone, the easier it is to re-break. So no, my hair dryer is not made of concrete, I'm just fragile...