By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 06:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 038
You deserved it 52 925

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.


They've learned to think for themselves.

doesn't anyone think the salesman could be pretending to know sign language? Probably not the first time he has met "deaf" people

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Or OP could've just not answered the door. It easier just to not make any noise and pretend you're not home than acting like a fool.

Is it really that hard to tell people to **** off nowadays? Sure, you could be less blunt, but simply saying "No, I'm not interested" could save you so much time and awkwardness.

I agree. When someone comes to the door to ask if I would like to purchase something or hear about the good lord, I just tell them I am not interested. They might be annoying, but they are people too with desires and everyone needs a job. Save everyone time and just tell them to go away.

Actually, if he was deaf, how would he know not to answer the door?

Pretended to be deaf, end up looking dumb... Sounds about fair.

This is the first time that I've really wanted a "favourite" button for comments.

oj101 33

How hard can it be to just not answer the door, or politely decline and shut the door promptly?

Or when you answer the door don't say anything and just stare at them till they go away.

Sinistra_Blue 12

#103, when you said that I just imagine that picture of the cat with the dilated, creepy eyes saying "Your soul, it was delicious"

Just give him the finger. The universal sign that you don't want to be bothered.

that's harsh, they don't wanna do thr job, they're just trying to make a living

Rainhawk94 27

people take.everything literal here huh.

It was poorly executed sarcasm. Just take your thumbs down quietly.

Rainhawk94 27

90% of sarcasm attempts here are shut down because people either don't know how to do it or once the fml community sees a comment thumbed down.they all go along with and thumb down

I don't care if I get downvoted for agreeing with 49. But it is true. Too many people on here take everything so literal. I highly doubt that this person was being serious. I read it sarcastically, why did everyone else have trouble with that?

46- It's not even sarcasm it's being facetious you patronising ****.

No, because there was no irony, I didn't mean the complete opposite of what I said, it wasn't bitter nor cutting. It was what it was: a simple joke. But feel free to take everything at face value and get butthurt over the internet. I hope you all have a very nice day, you bunch of very pleasant people. (Hint: THAT'S sarcasm)

gemstone586 12

I agree, people take things waaaay too seriously on here... This is exactly why Facebook does NOT need a dislike button. There are too many haters. Lighten the **** up!


lalala thumbing down posts without reading them, la lala lala

RedPillSucks 31

How the hell does that work? Jesus can't **** Christ!

monkeyy100 15

Middle finger isint a universal sign it has different meanings in different countries :)

#101 I'm pretty sure "**** you" is the most universal saying for the middle finger... what does it mean where you live? "Have a great day"?

LordAres_fml 9

With the right Google search you would find exactly that. Rule 34

Lol at the people getting butthurt over a joke

Honestly, how hard is it to say 'I'm not interested', and close the door?

jw90 18

With how persistent they can be these days pretty damn hard. Some will stand at your door for a good half hour before giving up.

Anyb0dyTh 8

Don't feel bad or guilty; They are trained to be rude. I start off with a very firm NO. I don't add anything to it. If they open their mouth to protest, I raise the volume a lot. The third time they start to speak, I start to make a scene like they have been verbally abusing me, and I am fed up. !!! -Take it to the next level- !!! !!! - Don't be a chicken -!!!

33 - I just say, "No thank you" and close the door. No need to stand around and listen to them ramble on MY front step.

ilytyvm 25

It's really hard. it's hard to get rid of Jahova Witnesses too. I always tell them about how I'm a Satanist and that if they don't get the hell off my porch I'll send my demons after them. I'm not really a Satanist, BTW.

#45 I'm guessing saying you are a satanist only triggers them to talk more and encourages them to stay?

It's a shadow war #5! They disturb our peaceful lazy Sundays. They deserve no mercy!

It's easy for me to say no to a salesman since I live in a trailer court. The management does not allow them unless they have permission, and very few of them have the time to get it. Outside of the occasional flier the only salesman I get is the ice cream man in his truck.

jw90 18

45-you can send your demons after me. I'll exorcize them to the bottomless pits of the Underworld.

#5 Saying, "I'm broke as ****!" works too. (: And also I'm not a Jehovah's Witness but most of my extended family are; nothing personal #45 but I hate when people constantly put them down. JW will respect your wishes if you simply ask them not to return to your property. They take notes and will share it with the rest of the Kingdom Hall members. I hate how they get such a bad reputation when they just mean well. Treating them like shit make you that in my eyes.

Maybe in your neck of the woods JW's respect people's wishes, but not where I am from. After repeatedly telling them I was not interested, and telling them not to waste their resources by putting their flyers in my mail box, they STILL drop off their propaganda and STILL try and gain access to my property to spread "the good word". Not even my cantankerous 87 year old grandmother can get them to give it up.

I don't know what to tell you. Sorry, but in the back of my mind I have doubt that you're as accurate as you might think. Maybe the dropping off the flyers etc.... happened "before you actually asked them not to bother you?". The organization are taught to all think similar and follow rules (your rules of "no trespassing" included) Why they wouldn't in your neighbourhood puzzles me. Also they are responsible to pay for those flyers personally-- out of pocket. They usually won't give them out to someone they know will throw them away. If I may suggest, if they do indeed return after you asked them not to, make a record of the time and date and remind them that "on April 4th I asked your group not to return." I promise you, it will stop. (:

No, the dropping off of the flyers happened directly after I asked them to go away. They asked if they could leave some flyers behind. I said no. I told them I will just throw them away. They told me they were going to leave them anyway, and did. Might just be that the JW's in South Africa are more tenacious/rude?

RedPillSucks 31

Just answer the door with what looks like a bloody knife and a joker smile. Say that the homeowners can't come to the door right now

I live in the US and I have rude JWs and Mormons come to my house weekly. We finally called the police on many of them because they are so rude. I put up a sign asking people with religious messages not to come up to the door, but they ignore the huge ******* sign.

slickchrome 11

not every deaf person knows sign you could have gotten away with it, but anyways your kind of a prick for faking being handicap. it's insulting.

And you're kind of a prick for using shitty gramma.

Asparagus, if your going to insult someone's grammer, at least make sure you spell things rite. There grammer wasn't even that bad anyway, so your the prick.

Haha @docbastard. Gramma. Autocorrect changed it the gramma. I feel like in from Jersey now. Oh and by the way, it is right not rite.

I think he's ******* with ya asparagus.

37 - "Rite" is the only error you could find? Yup, you deserve to be picked on by Doc.

slickchrome 11

31- I wasn't aware proper grammar was required on a flapping app with the name that has 3 initials. how about you proof read your comments before you leave me and ignorant reply and ironically misspell exactly what your complaining about. tard.

bybib 20

Pretty sure you're taking this to personal.

slickchrome 11

I kno need 2 proof read: me liking them the way me smart phone makes them out two bee?

How often do you say "gramma" that is autocorrects it to that?

He probably knew you weren't deaf, because if you were, you wouldn't have heard a knock at the door.

Just from reading some of these, I now have a wide array of options if answering the door to unwelcome people :O

I missed that key point. Good catch.

wackyducky0 2

Door chimes come equipped with a flashing strobe light and knock sensor that flashes too!

You deserve it. Grow up, act like a proper adult, and just tell them you're "not interested" next time.

cheers for salesman.. :D he had his move ready

It's so much easier to just answer the door naked.

Oh yuck!!! That has actually happened to me before. The poor guy had Down's syndrome. It was a quick "ok bye now."

ilytyvm 25

My best guy friend and I answered the door once, naked and covered in fake blood once. He even had this thing on his phone where it played a screetching cat noise. The guy practically ran screaming down the street when we glared and shouted at him for interrupting our sacrifice.

jasmine2301 25

Personally, I just stand there and look at them disapprovingly through the glass on my front door and shake my head until they leave.

zRatio 6

Or, you could not of answered the door like you when Jehovas witness knocks.

and tip toe around the house so they don't hear or see you, peak through the curtains to make sure they are gone and repeat when you see them come back around the block.