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The all-time greatest FMLs

Nice try

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 21:00 - Philippines

Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 492

Life choices

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'd always thought my sister was an idiot for having her kids in her teens and early 20s before she was ready. Thing is, she’s now in her early 30s, her kids are grown, and she’s loving life. I had my kids in my 30s. By the time they’re grown, I’ll be old and broken down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 465

Singed

By Bernice - 26/01/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was showing my grandson how to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. I got a little too close and set my hair on fire. The candles remained lit but my grandson was too terrified to go near them after the whole ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 403

Where would we be without GPS?

By Anonymous - 19/07/2024 15:00

Today, my stupid satnav led me straight onto someone’s private land and I couldn’t get out again because the private land was a working farm, and while I was turning round they dumped 10 tonnes of cow shit in the courtyard, and I couldn’t get round it until they shifted it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 377

No dress code

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Sherman Oaks

Today, I overslept. I didn’t have any time to get ready for school so I just went in my pajamas. When I got there, my teacher walked up to to me and said, “Nice pajamas!” However, I understood, “Nice vagina!” so I replied, “Oh thanks. Nice penis!” I’m dropping out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 282

Drowning

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 18:01 - United States

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 619

Gullible's travels

By Rebecca197 - 21/09/2022 13:30

Today, without trying, I convinced my 24 year-old daughter that Stop signs with a white border around it were optional. Her car is now totaled and she’s in the emergency room with whiplash. I didn’t think she’d be that gullible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 2 714

Caught in 4K

By DonDonDon - 27/06/2021 06:01

Today, I found out that sharing Apple ID’s with your iPhone and your wife’s iPad is a bad idea. She might receive the texts and nude pictures between you and your side chick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 7 379

Obsession

By Perfectionist - 20/10/2025 12:00

Today, it's been a week since I was supposed to be moved. I've had to work over because of network, data issues, and now a computation that's slightly off. The computation is optional, and there's no one at the federal office to even accept the report, but my stupid brain won't let me stop until it's fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 244

Easy on the Chardonnay

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my best friend’s wedding. I wanted to say, “You both look beautiful together.” Instead, nerves took over, and I blurted out, “You both look beautiful naked.” In front of 100 people. And a priest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 386

Smoke signals?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 02:00

Today, my dad grounded me. Again. First it was my phone, now my watch. How the hell am I supposed to communicate now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 189

Work it

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 452

Stinky

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 363

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 487

Slipped my mind

By PaulineB - 12/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I was complaining to my best friend about my weird cousin and how annoying he is whenever I see him (which isn't often, thankfully). She replied, “Isn’t that my boyfriend you're talking about?” Turns out, yes. Yes, he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 400

What secret item did you expect?

By Nathalie - 06/11/2025 20:00

Today, my mom texted me, “Sweetie, I found something weird in your laundry basket.” My mind raced through every possible embarrassing scenario. I called her in panic, and she said, “Why are there 18 single socks?” I’ve never been so relieved to be messy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 104

Betrayal

By Jasper - 29/05/2021 22:01 - United States

Today, I paid my best friend to not tell my girlfriend about having hooked up with another girl while drunk the other night. He told her anyway. Now I have no girlfriend and I’m $500 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 3 232

Lost in translation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was translating for a patient to get an MRI, the tech asked if I had metal in my body. In front of the patient, I had to disclose that my nipples were pierced, so I couldn’t accompany the patient bedside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 452

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 11:00 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I spent 3 hours looking for a roll of tape. I didn't find the tape. I still need the tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 339

Quite the doozy

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 1 673

It's trending again

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to start my exciting new job. I knew I needed a good night's sleep to prepare but because of the excitement I was worried, so I decided to try that tart cherry juice I kept seeing on TikTok to help me sleep. It worked. A little too well. I woke up 14 hours later, missed my first day, got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 590

Acts of service

By Diet time 4 me smh - 11/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 680

I don't want to know

By Anonymous - 13/01/2026 20:00

Today, I overheard my parents talking. It went something like “Walk it off, you’ll be fine”, “I will not be fine, it’s leaking”, “Well sit on a towel then”, “A man should not squish when he sits”, “Remember that next time you think about doing it to me.” I dread to think what was leaking out of my dad, or where. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 50

Overly attached FWB

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my friends-with-benefits asked me if the girl who just added me on Facebook and Instagram is someone new I’m talking to, all within hours of this new friend adding me on social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 418

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 15:00

Today, I tried cooking dinner from scratch for my date. Everything was going great until I realised the “icing sugar” I'd sprinkled all over the dessert was actually flour. She took one bite, coughed, and said, “So you’re more of a Uber Eats kinda girlie?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 363

"Probably"?

By alannj03 - 02/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm considering faking my death in order to get out of my relationship. My girlfriend got in a car accident that left her disfigured, and I no longer find her attractive. I met someone at work who's a better fit for me. I know I'm probably an asswipe, but is it wrong to want a partner whom I'm attracted to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 945

Missed the point

By Anonymous - 17/09/2023 16:00

Today, after working all day to make a big vegan meal for my family, hoping it would get them to become vegans as well, my brother thought it appropriate to pass around a block of cheese for everyone to grate over the pasta dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 1 809

Her body, her choice

By Not a grandma - 15/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the hospital for a few tests, and it turns out that she's pregnant. She has always said that she doesn't want kids, but I hoped that already being pregnant might change her mind. She called to schedule an abortion during the drive back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 784

Doomscrolling

By Anonymous - 04/03/2023 00:00

Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 1 140

This is fine

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 13:30 - India

Today, I misread a message that said they needed someone to volunteer for an event. Since the message was from my committee senior, I read the volunteer part and said yes. I missed the "and host it" part so now I have to give a speech in front of all the senior professors and the guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 632

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted out, "You too!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 045

You deserved it 5 340

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in his car when things got hot and heavy and we decided to climb in the back. After we finished we started to put our clothes back just as a someone's brights flooded into the car. It was a cop, and he had been there the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 41 000

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 093

You deserved it 39 714

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 856

You deserved it 8 885

Today, my cat followed me into the bathroom. While I was showering, he knocked over the storage shelf behind the toilet. The shelf was the perfect length to wedge the shower door completely closed. No one was home so I had to climb over my tall shower door all slippery and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 177

You deserved it 725

Today, one day after our 12-year wedding anniversary, which my husband failed to acknowledge, I found a receipt in his pocket for chlamydia testing. We haven't had sex in two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 281

You deserved it 1 006