By Lewis How's life going? When life gives you lemon, it's often juice, directly in the eyes... 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML I agree, your life sucks 53569 You deserved it 6339 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML I agree, your life sucks 4899 You deserved it 446 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By knevs - United States Today, my mom sold our electronic stuff to pay for hurricane shutters. We live in Chicago. FML I agree, your life sucks 35646 You deserved it 2956 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nurse Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML I agree, your life sucks 2775 You deserved it 703 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deserted - France Today, I was going to meet my friend at a concert. I got there before her, so I went in to check out the local bands that were playing before the headliner. When she got there, I went just outside the building to give her a ticket. The security guards wouldn't let me back in. She went in anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 28622 You deserved it 7130 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VMV - Spain - Abrera Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML I agree, your life sucks 33066 You deserved it 9353 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WipeYaBooty - United States - Franklin Today, I woke up with chest pain. It hurt just to breathe, but my parents made me go to school. We're sitting in the emergency room now. FML I agree, your life sucks 4564 You deserved it 253 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By littlemiss - Canada - Whitby Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML I agree, your life sucks 38493 You deserved it 3030 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AmySweet - United States Today, my husband bought me a cinnamon roll because my blood sugar was dangerously low. My first bite was easily the most delicious thing I'd eaten since getting pregnant. As I sat in frosting coated ecstasy, my husband snatched up the rest of the pastry and finished it himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 34372 You deserved it 4588 237 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By x_udontknowme_x - United States Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML I agree, your life sucks 27224 You deserved it 4337 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/4/2020 17:00 Fetch! Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML I agree, your life sucks 1295 You deserved it 768 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ponchatoula Today, my sister sent me countless pictures of my boyfriend making out with different girls at a bar. His excuse? Photoshop. FML I agree, your life sucks 54120 You deserved it 4304 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 8reth72 - United States Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML I agree, your life sucks 36104 You deserved it 86740 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ana9 - France Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 19948 You deserved it 6780 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML I agree, your life sucks 34317 You deserved it 6518 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yourstruly - United States Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 26504 You deserved it 2329 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML I agree, your life sucks 19601 You deserved it 53005 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Huntington Park Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 82225 You deserved it 9795 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By artiemilano - United States Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML I agree, your life sucks 34921 You deserved it 3528 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossedout Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML I agree, your life sucks 32955 You deserved it 3702 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohcrap - United States Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML I agree, your life sucks 24829 You deserved it 2555 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon - Australia Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML I agree, your life sucks 29084 You deserved it 2708 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By beurk - France - Paris Today, in the magazine section of a bookstore, an old dude asked me politely to grab something that he couldn't reach. I did so with a smile, touched by his "nice old guy" demeanour, only glancing at the item in question as I handed it to him. It was a porn mag. FML I agree, your life sucks 30792 You deserved it 4060 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mainlineloser - United States - Narberth Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML I agree, your life sucks 32349 You deserved it 3324 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML I agree, your life sucks 19502 You deserved it 49201 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kerrilyn - United States Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML I agree, your life sucks 14959 You deserved it 54817 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monkeywrench - Sweden Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML I agree, your life sucks 24871 You deserved it 1764 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sorethumb - United Kingdom - Bookham Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML I agree, your life sucks 19433 You deserved it 3348 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike Today, my teenage daughter got her driver’s license. Less than an hour later she wrecked my wife’s new minivan. FML I agree, your life sucks 2136 You deserved it 500 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rhplb - Philippines - Quezon City Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML I agree, your life sucks 11031 You deserved it 867 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pipers - United States - Northfield Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML I agree, your life sucks 1978 You deserved it 246 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sierraisfucked - United States Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML I agree, your life sucks 49364 You deserved it 4173 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Luisa Lunch Special Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 1966 You deserved it 218 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ohcrap - United States Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML I agree, your life sucks 49366 You deserved it 16047 426 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wrecked - United States Today, I slid on ice and hit another car while driving to work. My car was totalled, and my leg hurt, while the other car had very little damage. Not two minutes later, the salt truck drove by, spraying the road. FML I agree, your life sucks 27515 You deserved it 3539 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Levi2411 Today, I jokingly told my mother to "go fall down a hole" during a mock argument we always have. Not even 10 minutes later, our basement stairs gave out. When I said that, I didn't want her to break both her arms or to actually fall into a gaping hole. FML I agree, your life sucks 2732 You deserved it 430 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MBoomer Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML I agree, your life sucks 11317 You deserved it 935 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Me - Australia Today, I tried taking a shortcut through a nature trail, hoping to save myself some time getting back to my car. I ended up getting lost for nearly 3 hours and getting to work nearly 2 hours late. FML I agree, your life sucks 20105 You deserved it 12345 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By firefliiez - United States Today, my ex decided he wanted to start calling me "Pup." I jokingly said "Please! Call me anything but that! Sausage face even! Just anything but that!" Later, we went bowling with a large group of friends. He put my name in the board as "Sausage Face." Everyone agreed it will be my new name. FML I agree, your life sucks 9152 You deserved it 42735 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, I found out that a street performer makes more money than I do. I have a full time job at the bank. FML I agree, your life sucks 30317 You deserved it 4002 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By phyomauk | 12 #7738839 - Monday 17 December 2018 8:22 This is abusive to child. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By phyomauk | 12 #7738839 - Monday 17 December 2018 8:22 This is abusive to child. Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea.... I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 57 5 Comments
Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s... I agree, your life sucks 463 You deserved it 371 6 Comments