Animals: Today, I was playing with my hedgehog and he started licking...

By Anonymous - 09/03/2017 12:00

Today, I was playing with my hedgehog and he started licking my face. I thought it was super cute, until he latched onto my eyelid with his teeth. He then created a ball of saliva and blood and coated his body in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 842

You deserved it 1 059

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Same thing different taste

Yucky!

By theapplesleader - 23/12/2019 03:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 3 827

By Anonymous - 22/10/2011 06:10 - United States

Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 615

You deserved it 53 638

Language of love

By TheGirl - 23/11/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 387

You deserved it 3 951

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 636

Poor kitty

By toothpastecat - 13/05/2011 15:41 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 8 428

By Addicted2FML303 - 06/12/2010 22:50 - United States

Today, I was on the couch, about to make out with the guy I've been dating. As soon as our lips touched, my overprotective dog ran up and bit him. He bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 773

You deserved it 5 265

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 775

You deserved it 16 006

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

Levvy 22

Thursday 9 March 2017 19:42

The saliva thing is called "self anointing". There's a lot of debate as to why they do it, but it's a pretty normal hedgehog behavior. They taste/smell something unusual, foam up, and smear it all over themselves. The biting thing is called "being a dick" and is also a not unusual hedgehog behavior.

lukcy_basartd 11

Thursday 9 March 2017 12:23

Well ******** hell, quite friendly that was.

Comments

lukcy_basartd 11

Thursday 9 March 2017 12:23

Well ******** hell, quite friendly that was.

darshini_ii 24

Thursday 9 March 2017 12:34

He has now marked his territory.

Konarika 11

Thursday 9 March 2017 12:54

A hedgehog? You're aware of how extremely unhygienic that is? They are hosts to way more parasites than regular pets.

ukmedic 5

Thursday 9 March 2017 16:36

It will be an African Pygmy hedgehog, not a regular wild English hedgehog (which as illegal to keep as pets). They're a widely kept and healthy exotic pet, that are completely hygienic as long as they are kept properly and do not carry any parasites

Levvy 22

Thursday 9 March 2017 19:46

How unhygienic... what is, exactly? Owning a hedgehog? Being licked by one? What mouth parasites do they supposedly have that you wouldn't find in the mouths of other common pets?