When Parents Get Pissed - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 29

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 134

When Parents Get Pissed

By FML Videos - 20/09/2018 12:30

The Haka is legit.

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 59

Taking stock

Family heirloom

Kids are hard work

03/02/2014 03:26

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 573

You deserved it 16 010

18/03/2016 17:29

Today, as usual, I'm stuck working in a brutally hostile work environment under my mother-in-law, who's never forgiven me for marrying her daughter. I only got the job because of family politics. Four months on, I still can't even land so much as a single interview elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 958

You deserved it 1 689

29/05/2009 04:08

Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 716

You deserved it 8 587

14/02/2017 04:53

Today, my girlfriend left me. I have no clue what to do with the holiday we have booked or the ring I was going to propose to her with on Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 077

You deserved it 626

08/04/2012 18:55

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 854

You deserved it 5 178

12/12/2018 17:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 742

You deserved it 423

31/08/2011 09:16

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 807

You deserved it 3 857

28/01/2010 13:08

Today, my dad found out I got a tattoo behind his back and is really really upset. When I got home from work my car wasn't in the driveway. When I asked my dad where it was, he replied "you'll get it back when your tattoo comes off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 519

You deserved it 39 613

09/03/2013 10:35

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 099

You deserved it 2 880

04/12/2010 23:28

Spicy

Today, my parents hassled me for wanting to get my tongue pierced, saying it was filthy, unprofessional, and degrading. About an hour later, my sister let slip that my nipple is pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 419

You deserved it 36 619

28/01/2014 22:36

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 614

You deserved it 3 933

24/06/2009 06:13

Spicy

Today, I went to write "Happy Bday, I Love You" on my girlfriend's car windows to surprise her when she woke up. I was the one who got the surprise when I saw her, in her backseat, having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 716

You deserved it 3 694

11/11/2018 11:30

Today, I took a big, smelly, satisfying dump when I woke up. When I tried to flush, nothing happened. None of my four roommates bothered to tell me we didn’t have running water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 922

You deserved it 278

01/04/2014 19:21

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 500

You deserved it 12 610

27/06/2012 17:18

Spicy

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 4 843

07/03/2009 17:16

Today, I laced up my fabulous new boots and walked outside to find my hot neighbor, with whom I carpool every morning. I struck a pose, feeling quite confident. Upon taking my first step down the stairs, I fell forward. I woke up an hour later with 7 stitches in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 063

You deserved it 40 162

31/10/2015 05:44

Today, my mother in law basically said I deserve my breast cancer, all because I declined to take part in one of her "March Against Cancer" events a while ago. I guess donating money to cancer research instead of going on a meaningless march really messed up my karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 805

You deserved it 1 772

25/02/2011 13:25

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 762

You deserved it 4 497

07/12/2010 10:35

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 849

You deserved it 2 376

07/09/2009 19:19

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 111

You deserved it 7 975

20/12/2013 02:45

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 5 827

12/07/2016 02:27

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 164

You deserved it 1 076

20/10/2014 03:48

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 4 923

13/12/2011 22:43

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 3 681

18/01/2014 19:49

Today, at work, a kid rushed into the bathroom to vomit. Understandable, except he threw up into the sinks. Sinks plural, whose drain holes are so small that only liquid can really pass through. Guess who had to clean up vomit chunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 400

You deserved it 3 803

12/03/2010 13:17

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 791

You deserved it 7 261

Moving day, grandma

By Anonymous - 03/11/2020 14:05

Today, after my daughter fell in love with a city I didn't want to move to and I caved to make her happy, after a year of which she got engaged at the age of 18 and moved with her fiancé back to his hometown not far from where we moved from, she called to tell me she's pregnant and my first grandchild will be hundreds of miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 446

Thermoregulation wars

By NoCirculation - 24/11/2020 14:03

Today, my boyfriend is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I'm wearing leggings, sweatpants, a vest, t-shirt, jumper and hoodie. If we turn the heating any higher, he starts overheating and sweating. At the current level, I'm still shivering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 263

22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 108

Almost done

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 04:59

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 482

You deserved it 3 423

04/11/2010 21:44

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 922

You deserved it 4 173

24/01/2011 15:00

Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 640

You deserved it 65 658

11/07/2011 00:01

Today, after spending 6 months and $15,000 on lawyer fees at my 13 year old son's request, his abusive, alcoholic father no longer has any legal right to see him. How did my son repay me? He ran away to live with his father the very first time I told him he couldn't have friends sleep over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 115

You deserved it 7 772

We Are Family

By bad dad - 15/03/2020 00:01

Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 97

30/10/2013 23:39

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 182

You deserved it 3 899

08/08/2011 05:30

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 462

You deserved it 5 947

15/08/2016 03:17

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 15 592

30/04/2012 13:28

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 679

You deserved it 30 162

13/12/2010 09:16

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 570

You deserved it 6 169

Gross

By clips - 16/02/2011 21:08

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 882

You deserved it 2 582

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Friday 21 September 2018 5:40

Proud parents performing the Maori Haka for their son after playing in his first game for the All Blacks.

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Friday 21 September 2018 1:12

They're not angry -- it's a display of respect. They're performing a Maori haka for their son (the guy with his back to the camera) who just got his first game time playing rugby for his national team, New Zealand.

Comments

real life problems 26

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Thursday 20 September 2018 20:59

Those people need mental help

Cali 54

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Saturday 22 September 2018 0:48

It's actually a pretty cool tradition. If you look up "haka" on youtube you'll find a lot with larger groups. The guy in the foreground is on the rugby team called the All Blacks and they do a haka before each match!

real life problems 26

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Sunday 23 September 2018 6:55

I know what it is, it just looks retarded especially with the amount of energy they are putting into it

pjsr 32

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Friday 21 September 2018 0:06

What the heck even?!?

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Friday 21 September 2018 1:12

They're not angry -- it's a display of respect. They're performing a Maori haka for their son (the guy with his back to the camera) who just got his first game time playing rugby for his national team, New Zealand.

Cali 54

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Friday 21 September 2018 5:39

We know - did you see the post caption? The rest of the text is just for the joke!

real life problems 26

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Friday 21 September 2018 7:48

They still need mental help in my opinion

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Friday 21 September 2018 18:59

It's a ritual that the Maori (native New Zealanders) practice. Seems rather insensitive and ignorant to condemn a harmless tradition just because it looks weird to you.

wanted_2_want 40

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Friday 21 September 2018 1:18

The guy’s eyes look like they’re coming out of their sockets!

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Friday 21 September 2018 2:23

Why is Ellen DeGeneres sitting there doing nothing? Lol

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Friday 21 September 2018 5:40

Proud parents performing the Maori Haka for their son after playing in his first game for the All Blacks.

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Sunday 9 December 2018 14:35

that's not pissed parents, that is pride! <3