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The all-time greatest FMLs

By numbat97 - 14/06/2019 02:00 - Australia - Burswood

Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 1 494

Technically

By MoshiBak - 24/06/2022 12:00

Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 184

Cover up

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and my sister have never gotten along, always slinging insults, getting in screaming matches, even getting in physical fights on two occasions. Well apparently it’s all been one massive act to cover up the fact they’ve been fucking behind my back for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 186

Classic fraud

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 164

Where were you?

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Stamford

Today, I came home from the hospital after six days. Despite having a cat sitter, they managed to shit on the bathroom floor and pee on my bed in protest for being gone too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 133

Pranks should be outlawed

By hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 109

Having a great time!

By indiemusicnerdgirl - 26/06/2022 10:00

Today, I have severe sun poisoning, a migraine, have been getting dehydrated no matter how much water I drink, and am on my period with horrible cramps. Yay summer! FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 171

Alexa, play "Mr Loverman" by Shabba Ranks

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 18:07

Today, I was at a store when I saw a cute girl from my school. Trying to act cool, I went to hold the door for her. Too bad it was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 1 154

Kittens are everything

By Squanto - 16/08/2021 16:01

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 198

Gotcha

By Pissed - 28/10/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 98

Modern concepts

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 17:00 - United States - Menomonie

Today, my college roommate is a Studio Art major. For a project, she brought home a pig's intestine to keep in our tiny dorm room freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 105

PTSD FML

By Eddward - 15/06/2021 06:00

Today, I was working a phone call in a call center when I suddenly began to faint while at it. It turned out to be a bad dream I'd woken up from, because it's been three months since I've worked at that call center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 120

Ice Ice Baby

By Anonymous - 31/12/2021 20:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 162

Monday Monday, so good to me…

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, my 73 year-old coworker has made a mountain of work for me to plough through due to her incompetence. I had to work through over 400 emails, since she thought unplugging the router would help, and in doing so, I have picked up on hundreds of mistakes she has made with clients, and had to apologise to each one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 128

Medicare for all, now

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 07:30 - Canada - Old Perlican

Today, I was cut off from my government-funded drug program that used to pay half of my medication costs. They said I don't pay enough of a percentage of my wages on medication. I'd be on a higher dosage if I could afford it. I'm still poor and I'm definitely still bipolar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 112

Door dashed

By vibexeno - 31/01/2022 11:59 - Australia - Perth

Today, I opened my front door to see that someone else's McDonald's was delivered to me overnight, but the food was all moldy. The one time I get free food… FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 177

Tunnel vision

By IHaveThePower - 26/10/2021 23:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, after years of being an avid knitter and typing for a living, I got carpal tunnel syndrome… from my wrists flopping around too much while I'm driving. I live half an hour away from the nearest city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 116

Bricked

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 14:01

Today, I blew out the dust from my GPU, and when I went to reinstall it, it turned out that I had inadvertently shorted something and now it's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 246

Earplug time

By Jeanette - 21/06/2022 18:00

Today, I caught a cold. Turns out that the neighbours who have noisy children have also caught COVID and have to isolate for a week. I not only have to deal with a cold, but I have to overhear kids shows and crying through the thin wall dividing our houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 922

Out of control

By Anonymous - 14/07/2023 12:00

Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 133

Let em in

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 246

You haven't changed

By Anonymous - 15/04/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I talked to my ex from Uni for the first time in 10 years. I told her my wife and I just had a baby, and her immediate response was, "I WAS A BABY ONCE!" What the hell did I see in her? FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 247

Knackered

By Anonymous - 11/06/2022 16:00 - Germany

Today, I'm fit, but so exhausted from work that I hardly managed to even climb the stairs. Yet, as soon as I sit on the couch for longer than half an hour, my butt starts hurting. So I guess it’s either reading a book lying on my stomach, which makes my back hurt, or hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 151

Shame! Shame!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 641

Great night out

By Boyufd - 02/05/2022 04:00

Today, I had an amazing date with my girlfriend. Everything was going great, until I locked my keys in the car. It then started raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 200

Is it though?

By lindsey822 - 08/04/2021 10:59

Today, my brother and his wife have seriously decided to name their son “Bubba.” I don’t know how to politely explain to them that Bubba is a dog’s name, not a human’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 272

Lord of the lost rings

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 18:00

Today, despite been married for less than two days, my husband has managed to lose his wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 138

Set them free

By Seriously?! - 31/08/2023 06:00

Today, my abusive ex-boyfriend contacted me for the first time in almost 14 years, to apologize for how he treated me while we were still together. It brought back all the old memories that I thought I had finally overcome, and made me have such a bad panic attack that I had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 161

Fight Club

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:01

Today, my sons are such idiots that they had a blazing punch-up that put both of them in hospital, all because one of them stole the last cigarette from a packet. Never mind they both have their own cigarettes, but for some reason the theft of this one cigarette was the last straw that lead to a punch up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 323

No respect

By That's capitalism, baby - 10/05/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I was excited to finally take a day off work and relax at home. However, as soon as I was on the couch to Netflix and chill with my cat, I got a call from my boss saying I was needed at the office to fix a major issue. I ended up spending the entire day at work and didn't get to enjoy my "day off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 186

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The Top

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 020

You deserved it 3 841

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 523

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 697

You deserved it 27 385

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me while I'm deployed overseas. Her reason why is that she needs "to be alone to better herself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 102

Today, I found out my husband has another Instagram account. I tried adding it but it’s a private account. When I asked about it, he claimed he didn’t know what I was talking about and threw a fit about how I’m “butting into people’s business.” I went to check the account again to show him. “User not found.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 232

Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 87