Devious, the lot of them

By Anonymous - 27/09/2020 23:03

Today, I was out walking with a cute girl when we passed by a house with a Trump sign. Trying to make her laugh, I went to steal it. Turns out it was booby trapped. I got drenched by a sprinkler when I got close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 2 310

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Same thing different taste

By NotaDTfan - 30/04/2017 02:00

Today, my elderly neighbor came crying to me about the horrible thing someone had done outside. I hurried out to find a big pile of dog shit with the head of Donald Trump stuck into it. I had to fake a coughing fit so she wouldn't realize I was laughing. I'm not sure I got away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 935

You deserved it 834

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 163

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 781

You deserved it 5 853

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 20 236

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 00:47 - United States

Today, I walked past two guys on the street. I heard one of them whisper, "Jeez, that girl looks like Donald Trump." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 545

You deserved it 3 894

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 156

You deserved it 5 965

A step too far

By Charlie - 08/09/2009 10:46 - Australia

Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 479

You deserved it 21 139

By criminal tit offender - 31/08/2013 16:25 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 957

You deserved it 72 693

Classic prank

By CelibateHero - 05/10/2013 06:31 - United States - Notre Dame

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 989

You deserved it 3 502

Everybody needs good Neighbours…

By borkbork - 06/09/2019 00:02 - Canada

Today, I was standing on the balcony I share with the neighboring apartment. My morbidly obese neighbor didn't know I was there, and walked out with her breasts exposed. Her boyfriend then walked out and struck up a conversation with me about the fine weather we're having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 162

tounces7 27

Sunday 27 September 2020 23:29

What an idiotic way to try to impress someone. What was she supposed to be impressed by? Your immaturity?

LauraLaik 15

Monday 28 September 2020 0:24

So did she laugh ?

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 27 September 2020 23:08

I mean, I can't tell you that you don't deserve that, but I can't say I wouldn't want to try that either.

tounces7 27

Sunday 27 September 2020 23:29

What an idiotic way to try to impress someone. What was she supposed to be impressed by? Your immaturity?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 28 September 2020 0:05

You should have just reported them to The Deep State who would kill them and drink their blood.

LauraLaik 15

Monday 28 September 2020 0:24

So did she laugh ?

Mooglefox 23

Monday 28 September 2020 17:56

I would have done the same thing.

samsonity 5

Monday 28 September 2020 23:30

Dumbasses together strong.

smackthat23 3

Tuesday 29 September 2020 9:56

A lot worse would happen than a dang sprinkler if someone tried stealing something from my property :)

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Wednesday 30 September 2020 4:34

Well, at least it was only a sprinkler and not something worse. Knowing Trumpsters, it certainly could have been much worse.

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I agree, your life sucks 2 320

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 4 198

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I agree, your life sucks 34 645

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I agree, your life sucks 38 930

You deserved it 3 588

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I agree, your life sucks 22 057

You deserved it 6 360

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I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 98

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 286

You deserved it 26 513

Same thing different taste

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