Love, Relatable, Awkward and First Dates: Hyper self-awareness

Hyper self-awareness

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 23:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 478

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Same thing different taste

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 146

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 268

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 02:22 - United States

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 245

You deserved it 45 086

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 47 340

By stoych - 08/10/2012 07:14 - United Kingdom

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 094

You deserved it 5 961

LET ME OUT!

By Anonymous - 16/03/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a group of people who smelled like they bathed in garlic. It was so bad that I'm pretty sure Dracula would have tried to claw his way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 103

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 7 961

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 1 967

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 169

Grossed out

By tiaox - 04/06/2021 11:01

Today, I went on a date with an amazing girl. The date was going well, until she started eating. Although her mouth was closed the entire time, she somehow still made the loudest, most disgusting chewing noises I’ve ever heard. I felt bad about dumping her over that, but I just couldn’t continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 254

Brightside86 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:38

100% doubt they would have minded. They took you to a place that serves garlic bread, if they didn't didn't want their date with a hint of garlic than that's on them.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:16

You don't have mints or gum on you? You don't have the presence of mind to avoid garlic when kissing may be in the near future? You need to learn how to date. You shouldn't be doomed to spinsterhood just because you don't follow a few common sense tips.

Comments

MidnaLink 33

Sunday 29 January 2023 23:39

Don't sweat it so much. It's not like the garlic will start tasting like toothpaste before you kiss someone.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:16

poopface82 19

Monday 30 January 2023 2:30

When this guy is not being a sarcastic bastard, listen the **** up.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 January 2023 3:19

Damned Auto-Correct! I wrote "No matter how awful your breath is, a ******* is always welcome," but the computer "fixed it!"

HayNow 11

Monday 30 January 2023 21:17

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Yudith 24

Monday 30 January 2023 18:44

Better still, give some garlic bread to your date. This way, he won't mind the garlic breath since he'll have the same.

Brightside86 30

Monday 30 January 2023 2:38

100% doubt they would have minded. They took you to a place that serves garlic bread, if they didn't didn't want their date with a hint of garlic than that's on them.