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The all-time greatest FMLs

Unsolicited Richard

By Anonymous - 15/02/2022 10:00

Today, someone sent me disgusting private pictures, all because he asked if I wanted to swap pictures and I said sure, but I didn't think it was a different type of picture and not just selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 667

Follow up?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 03:00

Today, against my better judgement, I gave in and let my daughter go to the family Christmas party, due to the fact that the sister I cut contact with caught COVID and said she wouldn't be there. Guess who turned up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 230

White lie

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 06:00 - Sweden - Varberg

Today, I went to prom with my two friends. I was ditched by my prom date because he had “other plans.” The weird thing is that when we got to the prom location, I saw him with another date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 103

FML's Showdown #5

By Louis - 19/04/2017 21:30 - France - Saint-jean-de-braye

This week's contest is a mixture of how-to, magic tricks and singing (if you can call it that). Check it out.

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 220

Money management

By Marea90h - 25/11/2020 16:58

Today, my fiancé finally was able secure a PS5, which I told him I'd get for Christmas. Due to high demand, I didn't think he'd be able to get it till next week or so. He bought it last night while I was sleeping. I have to pay my car insurance tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 356

That's nice

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Angier

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 182

Eggs

By Anonymous - 03/01/2021 23:01

Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 119

Toxic masculinity in a nutshell

By Sad - 08/03/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I am a grown ass man and I cry when someone is slightly rude to me. I pretend to own my extreme emotional sensitivity, but when push comes to shove, I hate it. I wish I could be more assertive but I just can't. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 281

Controlling

By I'mmessedup - 26/04/2022 14:00

Today, I think the only reason my mom hosts my kid's birthday, and other parties at her huge house in the country, is so she can be a complete bitch to us on the day, and if we even sound annoyed, it's, "Well, this is my home, I don't have to open it to anyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 284

Snowflake

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 00:02

Today, my neighbour reported me for touching his wife’s vagina while she was asleep. She wasn’t asleep, she'd passed out giving birth and I had to help get the baby out because the ambulance was late, and her husband was busy vomiting from how slimy and smelly it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 109

Follow the lifescript

By SingleFatUglyL - 16/01/2023 18:00

Today, I posted on Facebook that I got the Princess Peach Happy Meal toy and I was super ecstatic. A friend of mine commented, “This shit is why you’re 32 and still single as fuck. Get a boyfriend and go start a family.” Her comment got 38 likes. I threw my laptop across the room and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 1 076

Get outta here

By Anonymous - 04/08/2023 20:00

Today, I went blueberry picking for the first time since I was a kid. In a huge lot with no one in it, a pickup truck choose to block us into a corner lot spot. When asked to move, the pickup driver said, “I hope the shade spot was worth it.” He then flashed a gun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 133

No pain, no gain

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, it's been a week since I got a gastric balloon to help me lose weight. On the plus side, I've lost 5kg. On the downside, it's been one week of vomiting, diarrhea, not being able to eat solid food, and stomach cramps so painful that it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. 15 weeks to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 282

Overdraft blues

By Anonymous - 16/04/2022 18:00

Today, I got a text from my bank saying that my chequing account is below the threshold amount, and that they will have to charge me if I don’t deposit money soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 215

Good deeds

By Muddyidiot - 06/01/2021 05:01

Today, after I was done testing a group of people for Covid, the universe decided that no, the deed was not good enough. On the way to the bus stop, I slipped and had to ride home covered in mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 143

Loud and unclear

By Jaymail - 14/02/2023 00:00

Today, my hearing aids got wet because i was caught in the middle of a thunderstorm. So they stopped working. I didn’t hear this morning's alarm because I can’t hear the alarm without my hearing aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 97

The client from hell

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 08:02 - Australia

Today, I got into work to find our trailer missing. I checked the system to see who had been in, and saw the name I was expecting. This person has racked up a debt of $3000, run off with another $5000 from the owner, and she STILL gives in whenever he asks for something. Someone was supposed to rent it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 136

Back to the drawing board

By BackIGo - 15/01/2021 02:01 - Australia

Today, I finished birthday shopping for my husband, my son, and a close friend, who all have birthdays within a week. I was proud of myself for being organized, until I remembered: my husband has a twin sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 188

Love is… strange

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 02:01

Today, I asked my sister if she could watch my son so I could surprise my boyfriend and take him out for dinner and maybe some sexy time afterwards. He didn't even know it was our 2-year anniversary. He doesn't care, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 316

Hush

By dinkley7 - 28/07/2021 18:01

Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 185

Go to drunk, you're sleep

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 16:00 - New Zealand - Nelson

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend, who was half asleep at 3 am, saying he was yelling my name because he needed toilet paper. We don’t even live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 123

Febreze

By stinky - 21/05/2023 03:00

Today, my mom yelled at me because even though I shower thoroughly twice a day, I still stink. My mom showers once a week, never wears deodorant, and smells like roses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 135

Free glasses for all

By Kat - 12/02/2022 12:01 - New Zealand - Gisborne

Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 412

Girly bunch of giggle girls

By read the damn room - 23/08/2022 04:00

Today, my mother went on a misogynistic tirade about how girls are backstabbing bitches, and nothing but trouble. She continued saying how she wishes my sister and I would make more guy friends, and stop being so damn girly all the time. Umm… has she forgotten who she gave birth to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 173

Stressed out

By annaT00many - 14/07/2021 14:00

Today, I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant. I have to go in weekly for stress tests. Last night, I had a very stressful dream about leaving my 4-year-old at home alone, which stressed me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 210

Circling the drain

By Leo - 23/07/2023 12:00

Today, after suffering probably my worst night of appendicitis, which consisted of vomiting, diarrhea, and going to the doctor, starving, only to find out a couple of hours later in the hospital ER that I'm allergic to penicillin and close to dying. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 106

Been there, done that

By forever alone - 24/02/2023 16:00

Today, I came to the unhappy realization that I’m living such a cliche. I’m completely in love with a totally unavailable man. He’s funny, smart, and drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way I could ever tell him how I truly feel. He’s gay and I’m a woman. We’ll never be more than friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 354

Clay

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 12:00

Today, even though I have the flu and can barely stand, I wanted to treat myself to something nice, so I baked cookies. Now guess when was the exact moment my taste buds suddenly stopped working? Yep, right when the cookies were done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 195

That's not a real thing

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom - Flitwick

Today, after talking to a girl for a little over a month, and both of us saying we liked each other and FaceTiming each other for multiple hours each day, she told me I’m “too easy to talk to” and friendzoned me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 153

Happily married

By Anonymous - 06/08/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I read an FML about a garter toss. It made me remember my own garter toss. None of the guys at the wedding wanted to catch it, and visibly cringed at the idea of touching it. Ten years later, it's all been downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 212

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The Top

Today, I got tons of sympathy (and hugs) from my co-workers after intense sneezing and coughing due to my "seasonal allergies." When I got home, my SO asked if allergies are contagious, because he had them too. He didn't have allergies. We have Covid. And so do most of my co-workers now. I suck! FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 081

Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 189

Today, I have a huge work project which absolutely requires a healthy amount of working at home to get done in time. This wouldn't be a problem normally. Except, thanks to my roommate's noisy dogs, I no longer have a "quiet zone" where I can buckle down on things and not be disturbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 154

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 088

You deserved it 1 074

Today, my boyfriend invited me to swim at his house. I'm very obese, so I had some reservations about it, but he assured me it'd be alright. Instead, the whole time I was treated to his mother commenting on my weight umpteen times, and his brother calling me "Moby Dick" and throwing pool noodles at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 373

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 954

You deserved it 2 683