The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 23/10/2023 07:00

Today, my son has failed all his exams, no university will take him, he keeps getting fired from part time jobs for incompetence, and generally makes goldfish look smart in comparison. His mother refuses to admit she should have quit drinking while she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 268

Shitty situation #766

By Anonymous - 29/03/2022 14:00

Today, I was surprised to see a lot of blood when I looked down the toilet while I was pooping, as I don't have my period right now. I've been heavily constipated since I've consumed my allergy medicines. The thing is, I need them to function normally, as I'd be sneezing every minute if it wasn't for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 106

Weird turn on, but OK

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 16:30 - India

Today, I realised my sex drive has improved massively since I started fantasising about Bruno from Encanto on the regular. I thought my lack of appetite was because of my mental health issues. Apparently not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 321

Classic line

By David - 29/10/2022 22:00

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 109

Investing in the future

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 23:00 - United States - Kissimmee

Today, after years of being underpaid, I received my first paycheck at my new job. My new employer offers excellent benefits and a 401k. But after I invest in all these wonderful things, and after a $4 an hour pay increase, my net income is less than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 184

In shape

By emmy - 01/04/2021 14:01

Today, even after months of vigorous exercise and diet in an attempt to gain muscle, I have not gained any muscle. Instead, my body is putting fat into the one part of my body I can’t work out: my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 114

Embrace modernity, reject tradition

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 10:00

Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 142

Lonely boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2022 17:00

Today, I sprayed a woman's perfume on a pillow, just so it would be easier for me to pretend I have someone to hug and cuddle with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 263

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 05:01

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 223

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 12:28 - Canada - Holyrood

Today, all was going fine until I had a tickle in my throat, which turned into a coughing fit. Only to cough for the last time and shart my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 149

Annoying internal jukebox

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 04:00

Today, I can remember enough of a song for it to be stuck in my head, but not enough of it to help me identify the song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 142

Health hazard

By Cupboard? More like headboard - 11/12/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my mom always forgets to close the cupboards in the kitchen. She's not tall enough to hit her head on them, but I am. I have done so at least a dozen times in the past week. I swear, I'm gonna knock myself out on those cupboards one of these days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 223

Lonesome tonight

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, and ever since my parents started watching "Love on the Spectrum", they've have been trying to play matchmaker with me and the women on the show, since I'm autistic and single. Unfortunately, they've been unsuccessful. The universe is dropping hints - hints that I will probably remain painfully single for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 153

Bates Motel

By Anonymous - 15/10/2021 08:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a choice between me and the super creepy, codependent, almost Norman Bates relationship he has with his mother. Guess which he chose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 506

Sweet, my ass

By Anonymous - 31/01/2021 15:30 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I worked with a sweet old lady. She refused to cook most of the food on the menu, and the food she did cook was super oily. When she received complaints about it, she blamed me for not draining the oil. When the customer defended me, she then told the customer it was her job to drain the oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 117

TikTok trending

By Anonymous - 18/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend insisted on doing some stupid TikTok where we say one thing we’d change about each other. She hates that I don’t always put plates straight in the dishwasher. I hate that she gets her makeup all over the sink without cleaning it. She got mad and threw a book at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 176

OK, now that's gross

By CM112 - 27/10/2019 06:00 - South Africa

Today, I found a piece of a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth. I haven't eaten popcorn in over a week and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 1 279

Plumbing issues

By oops - 25/01/2023 03:00

Today, I realized that sometimes when I sneeze, I pee a little. I’m 28 years-old and I've never had kid; I’m even a virgin. This shouldn’t be happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 172

It's not like riding a bike

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 03:00

Today, I bought my very first car. My dad insisted on driving it, just to see how it handles, and drove it right off the bridge near our house into our river because he hasn’t driven anything in 15 years, which also means he has no insurance, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 455

Mommy's best boy

By Anonymous - 27/03/2022 04:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 202

Skincare

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 05:00 - Germany - Dresden

Today, I have a new scar on my chin, which is still very sensitive to pressure. So, naturally, my body considers this the perfect spot for growing what feels like the world’s biggest pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 108

Charming

By lordoftheweird - 31/05/2022 05:00 - Canada - Ladysmith

Today, I realized my coworker can't comprehend English, or any other language. When I mentioned this to a coworker, they accused me of being an ableist. This is the same person who insults him to his face, knowing he can't understand her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 108

Bleak expectations

By Anonymous - 31/03/2023 18:00

Today, I finally realized that my husband doesn't love me, but loves the concept of marriage, as many Christians come to love to appease whoever they must. This is destroying the marriage I envisioned for us and building one of regret, resentment, and even hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 214

Great customer service, thanks!

By Eli Maldonado - 29/05/2021 17:01

Today, I called customer service for my phone. We talked for a while and the man was very nice to me. Too nice. Right before hanging up, he said, “Have a good day ma’am!” He was flirting the whole time and I didn’t realize it, and he didn’t that I’m a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 180

One-handed typing

By Justin Parker - 17/06/2021 04:00

Today, I was changing a flat tire on my car when it fell off the jack and crushed my hand. After ripping my hand free and waiting 2 hours for AAA, I get to go find out if my hand is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 126

Book him, Danno

By Joey - 11/07/2021 11:01 - United States

Today, I was driving to a gas station because I'd noticed I was almost on empty. Literally a block away from the gas station, my car broke down in the middle of an intersection, and I had to push my car to the side of the road, only to be questioned by police for "suspicious behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 208

Cracking

By Jennifer Sara Harms - 01/02/2021 05:01 - Canada

Today, I was so stressed out from my ex harassing me that I took a chewable pill that’s made for anxiety and it broke my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 140

Your own personal ATM

By Broke - 25/08/2022 16:00

Today, my girlfriend, who collects monthly welfare cheques, demanded that I get a second job so I could buy her more things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 416

No pain, no gain

By skinny & doomed - 06/06/2021 20:01

Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 230

Metal

By TiredBird - 05/09/2021 17:01

Today, I'm exhausted. My neighbours across the street had an argument about loud metal music. After a threat of, "Turn the heavy metal off or I’ll burn your house down," the music changed to Katy Perry’s "Firebird". For two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 188

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 3 604

Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 967

You deserved it 10 632

Today, my best friend told me he loved me, so I reminded him that I'm a lesbian. "That's just a phase, just wait till you suck my dick," was his reply. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 190

You deserved it 348

Today, I tried to send my friend a link to a really weird porno. Unfortunately, Google Hangouts popped up with a message from my mom. I didn't realize the keyboard focus had switched until I hit Ctrl+V and Enter real quick. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 708

You deserved it 21 211

Today, what started as my mom calling my grandma for a recipe turned into them discussing the philosophical reason behind my baking. I apparently picked up baking because I'm depressed over unemployment. And here I thought I just liked the smell of baked goods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 218

You deserved it 2 035

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 556

You deserved it 8 964