Health, Poopoo peepee, Accident and Bikes: I want to ride my bicycle

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 14:02

Today, I decided to ride my bike for the first time in over a year. It was seemingly going well, until I got to the first hill. As I began to ascend, I was trying a bit to hard and shit my pants, 8 kilometers away from my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 301

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Same thing different taste

Nature is harsh

By fallsdownplenty45 - 02/06/2009 11:08 - Taiwan

Today, I went biking. I attempted a large hill and lost control, slipped, and fell ten feet into a sewage pit. Riding home covered in crap, my sock caught my chain and I flipped over my bike. My dad had to spray me with the garden hose, bloody and shitty, in the front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 930

You deserved it 6 758

By parisite - 01/10/2010 08:35 - France

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 168

You deserved it 4 257

By OMGWTF - 13/08/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 6 148

No more!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. On my way home, my legs gave out halfway up the stairs to my apartment, and I had to awkwardly sit there until I could crawl the rest of the way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 137

Like an animal

By limeychefboy - 23/02/2018 01:30

Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 729

You deserved it 2 267

By Alex - 16/01/2009 09:40 - United States

Today, I decided to ride my bike to the bus stop to go to school. I wasn't even half way and the last bus had already left. I figured I would loop around instead of going back the way I came and ended up riding 16 miles before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 939

You deserved it 20 184

Bad moon rising

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time in years. Almost immediately, I realized that my shorts were no match for the forces of gravity. I spent the rest of the ride clinging to my seat for dear life while trying to subtly cover my exposed ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 609

By Banana_Lord - 11/09/2015 23:50 - United Kingdom - Arbroath

Today, I rode my new bike for the first time. I made it less than 100 feet from my driveway before I was almost flattened by someone driving on the wrong side of the road. Upside: I managed to get out of the way. Downside: I did it by slamming my brand new, expensive bike into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 444

You deserved it 1 851

Sick board!

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, it was my first time trying to longboard. I ended up going down a steep hill and didn’t know to how stop. I wound up in the hospital with a fractured knee and bruises all over from trying to stop myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 748

By ouch - 07/08/2011 07:12 - Mexico

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 408

You deserved it 5 402

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The Top

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 024

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 986

You deserved it 3 061

The Top

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 696

You deserved it 41 085

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 5 236

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 985

You deserved it 5 563

Today, my health insurance has finally gone digital, so I sent them a message through their webpage, asking a question. I then got an email, telling me they'd replied. I had to log into their webpage again to see the reply, which read, "A letter concerning your question has been sent to you by post." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 90

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 5 105

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed afterwards that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 722

You deserved it 2 813