Health, Embarrassing, Accident and Farts: Toot toot! - FML

Toot toot!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 18:00

Today, I slipped and fell on the ice while attending a community event for work. A man came to help me up, and I farted really loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

Health Embarrassing Accident Farts

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2015 22:07 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while walking to work, I sneezed so violently that I slipped on a patch of ice and hit the ground hard, badly spraining my shoulder. I lay there in agony as a pair of bystanders just stood there, laughing their asses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 619

You deserved it 3 117

By This girl - 19/12/2011 18:01 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 305

You deserved it 3 386

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 489

You deserved it 10 824

By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 20:38 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 870

You deserved it 5 178

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 332

You deserved it 12 934

Slippery when oiled

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 12:00

Today, as I walked with a coworker to my office through a gas station, I slid on some oil and fell right on my ass. He helped by holding my lunch. My jeans are ruined and I'm too broke to buy a new pair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 90

By SqueakingRetard - 17/01/2014 23:28 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 301

You deserved it 6 196

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 133

Better out than in

By flying13 - 03/11/2010 07:27 - United States

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 508

You deserved it 13 273

By no name - 22/06/2013 07:20 - United States - Gaylord

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 750

You deserved it 3 831

Next

Top comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 November 2022 19:41

Kudos for the man that not only helped you but had to sacrifice his nostrils in the process. Commendable 👏. I also hope you feel better.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 23 November 2022 20:23

Perhaps you have some skunk DNA? You release a foul stench when you are in vulnerable position and a potential predator approaches. Maybe look into that then ask, "Who in the family ****** a skunk?"

Comments

cuz803 44

Wednesday 23 November 2022 19:41

Kudos for the man that not only helped you but had to sacrifice his nostrils in the process. Commendable 👏. I also hope you feel better.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 23 November 2022 20:23

Perhaps you have some skunk DNA? You release a foul stench when you are in vulnerable position and a potential predator approaches. Maybe look into that then ask, "Who in the family ****** a skunk?"

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 276

You deserved it 8 552

Today, I received a rejection e-mail from a potential employer I interviewed with. I asked for some feedback and they said I didn't seem interested. I had showed extensive interest, even brought up some of the company's recent events, and literally said, "I'm very interested in this position." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 425

You deserved it 433

The Top

Today, I broke my leg while riding a bike. The doctor couldn’t help laughing when he saw on the X-ray that the broken tip of my bone looked like a puzzle piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 50

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 275

You deserved it 4 358

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 10 912

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 47 967

You deserved it 5 624

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 84

Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 875

You deserved it 4 226