The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 271

Pencil in the ass time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 01:13

Today, I was in art class in which we were drawing mythical creatures. I spent the entire hour and a half drawing a Minotaur, which turned out extremely well. It turned out so well that the teacher thought I had traced it, and told me to start over right before the bell rang. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 134

Dude walked into a porno…

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 17:59

Spicy

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 162

Deal with it

By tough love - 01/11/2022 04:00

Today, my son came running in, saying he had a project due tomorrow. I asked when it was assigned; he said two weeks ago. I refused to help, saying that he failed to act responsibly and had to live with the consequences. Now he's throwing a tantrum and my wife is screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 259

Cheeky little bastards

By weeping_willow - 01/06/2020 08:00

Today, the kids that live down the street had a yard sale in my yard while I wasn’t home. They sold a bunch of my daughter's toys, which I now have to replace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 195

By wrongcolorwrongcreed - 30/05/2019 10:43

Today, I went with my boyfriend of 10 months to rent a car, for which he needed his dad to sign for. To avoid introducing me, he banished me to the nearest airport terminal, and picked me up 45 minutes later, around 11:30 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 348

By Umwhat - 19/06/2019 02:01

Today, my boss wanted to talk to me. Nervous, I went to her office. Turns out that my coworkers talk about me behind my back, and my boss is worried about me. Apparently, I lie about my bad knees, and me wearing black leggings is horrible. Most of them wear sweatpants on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 172

Bit on the side

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 23:10

Today, I have been talking to someone for the past 9 months. He always said he could never give me a relationship. But he loves me. He finally told me it’s because he’s been with someone for 3 years and I’m basically the side chick he fell in love with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 393

By Fire_Princess16 - 17/10/2017 04:20

Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 3 182

By Trumpet - 28/06/2019 02:49

Today, my mom called me again to whine about what she heard about Trump on the news. I don't like him either and often agree with her, but she does this every 20 minutes so she can update with me. She's done this since he took office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 439

Caught the bug

By STFU! - 03/04/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 236

Just BFF things

By slumber party for two - 06/08/2020 08:02

Today, my best friend came to visit from out of state. We had lunch, painted our nails and fell asleep sipping wine and watching movies. It was a perfect girl’s day. My boyfriend is now irrationally angry, because according to him it’s not fair that I can have a girl sleep over and he can’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 475

Dude…

By Cass Lyles - 22/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was talking to my fiancé on the phone. I said, "Alright, see you in 10 minutes babe." My boss must have thought I was talking to him because he said, "Alright (my name), see you later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 290

Odd one out

By fun_gal - 25/03/2020 17:00

Today, my family said that we're all in this together, so I headed over to their house before the stay-at-home orders go into effect. When I arrived, my brother came out to stop me in the driveway to say they were practicing social distancing. From me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 260

People never learn

By fmyboss - 13/10/2019 07:00

Today, I was made fun of at work by my mom and my supervisor. I work at a kids' anti-bullying camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 222

To each his own

By AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - 07/09/2022 19:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my awesome new boyfriend loves a show called Happy Tree Friends, about cutesy animals dying horribly. When I say "loves", I mean he masturbates to it. I'm running very fast and very far away now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 216

Greased Lightning

By Anonymous - 29/05/2019 16:07

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 831

You deserved it 219

By Billz - 10/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. I moved in a couple of bags and realized I really needed to poop. It’s been 10 minutes since I realized I hadn’t brought the toilet paper in yet. No one to bring me any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 476

Flee!

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01

Spicy

Today, the family member who molested me for several years as a kid, works as a social worker in the same building where I’m treated for the unresolved trauma they caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 106

By RheaDitto - 18/06/2019 01:08

Today, after sending and receiving hundreds of hints, I mustered up the courage to ask my best friend out. He completely ignored my words, and went on to tell me all about his mother's intestinal bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 232

Awkward conversation ahead

By Anonymous - 19/12/2021 23:01

Spicy

Today, for the last two years of trying for a baby, my wife has been secretly still on the pill and takes a morning after pill every time we had sex. Funny, I thought we both wanted a baby, so I guess she doesn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 244

Life is unfair…

By Anonymous - 01/11/2020 08:08 - United Kingdom

Today, I was caught up in an armed robbery and after talking to the cops, my boss cut my pay for being 2 hours late. After I trudged home and told my parents, they are now forcing me to sleep in a tent in the garden, just in case the robber gave me COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 830

You deserved it 155

Oh great, thanks

By Anonymous - 27/07/2019 00:01

Today, due to recent changes in my local transit system, the bus that I take to work and back is a unidirectional loop instead of bi-directional. So my morning commute is the same, but the commute back is now an hour-and-half instead of 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 133

By Amanda - 05/05/2018 15:00

Today, my daughter has been using the "supertaster" excuse to not eat my cooking. To prove to her that she isn't one, I blindfolded her and gave her a bowl of jelly beans, then asked her to plug her nose and identify the flavors. She got every single one correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 3 992

Not a fan

By Cheri - 13/09/2021 13:59

Today, it’s my mom’s 65th birthday celebration. I have to share a room at the resort, table and car ride with my sister, who my ex-husband left me for and got pregnant. She tries to talk to me as if nothing ever happened, and my parents bitch me out for being upset at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 119

Caught up

By Abandonedgirl101 - 07/05/2021 11:01

Spicy

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because he was "furloughed from COVID" like he said was. Oh, and he got her pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 145

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 145

Boozing on the job

By paulcorrea95 - 21/09/2019 06:07 - United States

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 16:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 5 040

Two Scoops

By ice ice baby - 08/09/2019 16:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Spicy

Today, it'd been so long since I last had sex, I was jolted out of my sleep by a body shaking orgasm. I was sweaty and breathless, and it took me a moment to realize it had been a dream. It would've been great except the subject of my nocturnal ecstasy was Vanilla Ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 336

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Love Birds Proposal Miscellaneous My ex Family Fight Relatable Parents Racism Healthy Lifestyle Social Media Annoying Horses Animals Weird Poopoo peepee Football Sports LGBTQIA+ First Dates Money Kids Gross Smells Work Flooding Disappointment Art NSFW

The Top

The Top

Today, I've been living in Germany for several weeks now. My classmates still cannot pronounce my name: Clémence. Instead they call me, “Baguette.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 94

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 943

You deserved it 7 633

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 654

You deserved it 3 430

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 996

You deserved it 2 226

Today, I decided to break up with my boyfriend of three months. I only wish I had known that his father had died just a few hours earlier that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 568

You deserved it 855

Today, I pretended to be sleeping when my dad came to check on me. I’m not talking to him. Why? Because my mom died in January and he already has a girlfriend he says he wants to marry, she's going to be my step-mom. I’m 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 420