By Anonymous - 1/11/2020 07:08 - United Kingdom

Life is unfair…

Today, I was caught up in an armed robbery and after talking to the cops, my boss cut my pay for being 2 hours late. After I trudged home and told my parents, they are now forcing me to sleep in a tent in the garden, just in case the robber gave me COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1633

You deserved it

69

Tweet

Share

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Unrequited

By Falcon - United States

Today, I had to pee in the kitchen sink because my bathroom is being completely revamped, and the only other toilet in the house is my parents'. They refuse to let anyone use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29378

You deserved it

2806

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Ventura

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20151

You deserved it

3132

Tweet

Share

By Hopeless - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and he was very upset, crying that he had been betrayed. He then began to explain that his friend had slept with his ex-girlfriend. I asked why he was so upset, and he said he still loved her, and really thought they were going to be able to work things out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65438

You deserved it

3577

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1634

You deserved it

95

Tweet

Share

By Loopy - Belgium

Today, I had to buy more supplies for the cat my friend asked me to pet sit for 2 weeks. Her 2-week vacation ended over 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1907

You deserved it

442

Tweet

Share

By PityKitty

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45081

You deserved it

12229

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Southport

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48551

You deserved it

4079

Tweet

Share

By SecondBest,IGuess - United States

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62350

You deserved it

16380

Tweet

Share

By cantdolife - United States - New Boston

Today, as a teacher, I had a conference with the mother of a student who is struggling with behavior. Turns out the mom is the woman who does my Brazilian waxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3265

You deserved it

276

Tweet

Share

By yuck - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30949

You deserved it

17371

Tweet

Share

By beya - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks

93846

You deserved it

5843

Tweet

Share

By hannah - 18/2/2021 00:30

Shot from both sides

Today, I was yelled at by multiple people at work for not wearing any makeup. The only reason I don’t wear makeup is because my mom is guaranteed to make me cry before I leave the house every morning, so there’s no point. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1054

You deserved it

85

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of saving, I went to buy the wedding ring I promised to buy my fiancée. Just seconds after I walked in, the owner asked me to leave, saying he doesn't serve "trash" like me, while pointing at the memorial tattoo on the back of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37744

You deserved it

3662

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/6/2020 14:02

Smash capitalism

Today, I was basically treated to, "Hey, you're laid off by the end of the month. Oh, and would you mind training your replacement? We have budget cuts, and he works for less." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1535

You deserved it

87

Tweet

Share

By Malcolm654 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 4 years in front of the sell-out crowd at the baseball game, but at the security checkpoint, the security guard made me take the ring out and open it after I walked through the metal detector. No need to say it, worst proposal ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14858

You deserved it

1841

Tweet

Share

By Ecce - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34480

You deserved it

3184

Tweet

Share

By Imnotfromhere - 27/2/2021 05:01

Problematic language

Today, at my new retail job, I accidentally referred to white tank tops as, "Wife beaters." That's what I thought they were actually called, until my boss had to correct me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

665

You deserved it

341

Tweet

Share

By JCruz411 - France

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18010

You deserved it

32693

Tweet

Share

By charlieweaver21 - France

Today, I agreed to meet my ex-girlfriend at our favorite restaurant with my hopes high. She just wanted me to meet her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30996

You deserved it

6110

Tweet

Share

By Mark Allan - United States - Alexandria

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29160

You deserved it

7651

Tweet

Share

By lyssthemiss - United States - Joliet

Today, I was taking a bath after a long day at work. I closed my eyes and listened to music. My cat thought this was the perfect time to come out of his hiding spot and jump in the bath. Once he realized it was filled with water, he freaked out and dug his claws into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25652

You deserved it

2293

Tweet

Share

By Radgirl - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17327

You deserved it

58378

Tweet

Share

By Loved

Today, my boyfriend bought me an engagement ring. It turned out to be the wrong size and we had to return it, since the store said it couldn't be re-sized. As we headed home, I felt guilty, so I turned to him and apologized. His response? "It's OK honey, I didn't really want to marry you that much anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2500

You deserved it

168

Tweet

Share

By BadLuckBetty - United States - Millville

Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15920

You deserved it

1529

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

77796

You deserved it

10264

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 15/9/2020 05:02 - Germany

Two states of matter

Today, I learned that is it possible to be constipated and have diarrhea at the same time. You run to the toilet every half-hour, but almost nothing comes out and you feel so bloated you could burst, while eating almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1283

You deserved it

124

Tweet

Share

By Chris Bores - 20/11/2020 08:03 - United States - Prince Frederick

That's what a druggie would claim

Today, my family staged an intervention and demanded I go to rehab. Why? My mom found 'drug papers' in my car. It was a receipt from a routine drug screen for my job. It was also over two year- old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

927

You deserved it

60

Tweet

Share

By kp - United States

Today, my mom called me a druggie after she found out I smoked weed once. She's now threatening to sell my car, tell my boss, and ban me from seeing my fiancée. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27158

You deserved it

3899

Tweet

Share

By Ouchies - United States

Today, I took my first shower in weeks after having had spinal surgery. My sister flushed a toilet. I couldn't reach the nozzle or my cane to get off the shower bench, and all I could do was sit there as scalding hot water sprayed all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42286

You deserved it

2245

Tweet

Share

By Noname - United States

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48558

You deserved it

210914

Tweet

Share

By tammy - United States - Inglewood

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40961

You deserved it

3585

Tweet

Share

By jordansquared

Today, I received a Christmas card from my husband’s parents and found for the 7th straight year I wasn’t included on the card. Instead they included a picture of my husband’s ex-girlfriend holding my baby. I’ve already received messages asking if he’s back together with her. No. No he’s not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3009

You deserved it

175

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4909

You deserved it

446

Tweet

Share

By uneek14 - Canada

Today, while reading some chemistry notes I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30739

You deserved it

84457

Tweet

Share

By fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36067

You deserved it

9148

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/5/2020 02:00

Boring FML

Today, my wife of seven years told me she wants a divorce because I'm boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1613

You deserved it

310

Tweet

Share

By cowgirl - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, my friends and I held an intervention for my fiancé. He's been talking and behaving like an "old-timey cowboy" non-stop for the last three months. Our wedding is in a month and he refuses to marry me if I can't accept his "life choices." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24343

You deserved it

3655

Tweet

Share

By FailMan - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

I agree, your life sucks

8027

You deserved it

55561

Tweet

Share

By Wowthanks - United States - Greeley

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52893

You deserved it

6251

Tweet

Share

By Now What - United States - South Otselic

Today, my boyfriend told me he only loves me sometimes. He explained what days he chooses to love me and what days he doesn't want to. I told him that's not how it works. He disagreed. He's 27. He still doesn't understand why this is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13741

You deserved it

1289

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 30

#7949035 - Sunday 1 November 2020 8:42

You should have sided up with the robbers and plundered more booty than your measly pay. And you could've made your stingy boss walk the plank!

By voltroz | 17

#7949046 - Sunday 1 November 2020 10:09

Sometimes being nice isn't the best option

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 30

#7949035 - Sunday 1 November 2020 8:42

You should have sided up with the robbers and plundered more booty than your measly pay. And you could've made your stingy boss walk the plank!

Reply

voltroz | 17

#7949046 - Sunday 1 November 2020 10:09

Sometimes being nice isn't the best option

By tounces7 | 27

#7949168 - Sunday 1 November 2020 21:19

The first part is believable, the second less so.

By hugtrees13 | 16

#7949187 - Sunday 1 November 2020 23:00

Umm legally they can’t cut your pay for being late

Reply

mickymoose1 | 15

#7949202 - Monday 2 November 2020 1:12

In most businesses, time worked = time paid, however any decent boss would have allowed op to stay late to make up for missed hours in that situation so their pay would remain the same. Sounds like op has a dick boss if they didn't allow for them to stay late.