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The all-time greatest FMLs

What?

By Candlestick Maker - 07/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment to figure out why I've suddenly started going deaf. As it turns out, for some reason my ears now produce wax at an alarmingly fast rate. "Enough to make an entire candle before long if you save it up," the doctor said when she cleared them out. I guess this is my life now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 88

By Sad - 28/04/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 32

More like high key

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 12:00

Today, I had no idea my mom was low key racist until I told her I was dating a black woman, and she told me that was fine, just as long as I didn’t do something silly like fall in love with her or let her distract me from finding a proper wife. Wow mom, just wow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 153

Hot and heavy

By k…… - 10/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 130

Pizza? In this economy?

By I do cook just FYI - 05/06/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 144

Moving on fast

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 67

Please stay!

By she CHEATED! she LIED! she's FULL OF SHIT! - 15/07/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend cried and begged me not to leave her, saying her "hickey" was a burn from a curling iron. That might be believable if it was one on her neck and not in four places on her tits and thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 53

To each their own emergency

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 83

By prince-charming - 07/11/2009 10:12 - Kuwait

Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 34

By doglover - 03/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 44

Freak out

By Dough - 20/08/2025 00:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 87

Side hustle

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 110

Choose your moments, love

By Anonymous - 04/06/2025 09:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, my girlfriend cried that I'm never available for her when she has a difficult time. I do everything I can to be available for her, but I draw the line at spending 30+ minutes at work listening to her cry over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 95

Love Island is back, baby

By Anonymous - 07/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I introduced the girl I was talking to my best friend, and we all hung out. Until this day, her and I were doing great. After my friend left, she started gushing about how hot he is. He wasn't hitting on her at all. I reminded her that, and that he has a girlfriend. She was calm, but visibly upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 106

Spill the tease

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 122

Mad skills

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is so naive that he didn’t notice that a company he interviewed for basically used him as free labour during a 3 day “skills assessment period”, after which he didn’t even get the job. Even after I explained to him they'd used him for 3 days free grunt work, he still didn’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 140

Snow day

By Yudith - 05/12/2023 09:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I returned from wading in a foot of snow to go to a hearing and back, and opened my emails. My boss had sent me an email on Friday at 4:30 telling me I didn't have to go in. On Friday, there was the company Christmas party. He was there. So was I. He told me nothing. Nor did he call me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 174

Risky business

By Alexa - 21/02/2023 18:00

Today, I had sex with my landlord. As if that's not bad enough, my period hit, and I bled everywhere. His place is a total bloodbath and I'm worried that he's going to ask me to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 292

Wasted youth

By rob - 14/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I’m 25 years-old. I was unattractive in high school and college. In the last two years I’ve glown up. Also, rent, gas, and food have all gone up in price. I can’t afford dates and I've had to work weekend nights at every job since I was 18. I hate these “rich kids” my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 214

What do you want?

By bum4evr - 15/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to a burger joint when a man driving by noticed me and parked. He started following me on foot. I noticed him when he was around 15 feet away. He walked back to his car and left, not caring that his intentions were then obvious, another robbery attempt. Post-pandemic life in California sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 178

Bad dads

By Fthisjob111 - 22/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was waitressing. Two of the patrons, who were fathers, insisted on having their food taken off the bill because it’s Father’s Day and “ChatGPT said” they can get free food. We refused and said there’s no such thing. When I collected the check, I saw they wrote “fat bitch” on the tip line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 68

Priorities

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 87

Egg mode?

By Juan Venada - 10/08/2022 02:00 - Mexico - Ciudad De México

Today, I'm a 35 year-old man, and I'm moving in with my girlfriend soon. I have two options, get rid of all my lingerie, or tell her I love to wear it underneath my regular clothes, garter, and stockings included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 178

Nope, no way

By fiat850 - 13/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my boss, even though I think he's crazy. We rode for a few miles, then he decided it was time to merge onto the freeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 111

Don't hate the player… Oh wait

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, and for the past two years, I've been hosting a fairly successful Dungeons And Dragons podcast. However, ever since we brought a new player into the group, we've lost almost half of our listeners, and thanks to that, we lost our sponsorships too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 167

Hanging on in quiet desperation

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 00:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, time is going by way too fast and I don't know what I'm even doing with my life anymore. I realized all I do is sit in bed all day and mope. I'm such a boring person. How did this happen? FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 554

By MrRadin - 04/12/2015 05:31 - France

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 48

Bite the bullet

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 75

YOU MUST CONFORM

By Brandnew102 - 30/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being 60 pounds lighter has made every guy that crossed my path worship the ground I walk on. When I had the weight, guys would flinch at me, or not give me the time of day. I just want to be treated as a human being, no matter what size I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 270

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my daughter that the gold wedding ring her fiancé gave her as proof he was serious about the wedding is actually just a brass compression ring, worth less than a quid. She refuses to believe me, because I’ve never liked him. I’m a plumber; I know a brass ring when I see one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 76

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The Top

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 794

You deserved it 4 742

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 857

You deserved it 3 182

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 228

You deserved it 2 777

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 195

You deserved it 6 886

Today, I had the misfortune of getting my period during another exam. And yes, the male professor also noticed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 529

You deserved it 346

Today, after I found out my uncle took me off my grandma's funeral program, I had to fight to speak. He spent the week taking out his jealousy and anger on me and my sister for being included in her funeral. To everyone else he's played the saint, and the whole family has no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 112