Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday...

Today, I was acting as Prince Charming for a 5 year old's birthday party. After my scene at the ball, the narrator asked the kids, "Was the Prince handsome?" and they all replied with a chorus of "Nooooo!" FML

By FML Team - 6/1/2010 18:01

FML (h)ate kids

Not our kids, but we hate kids. For example, today we were in the library, checking out Tinkerbell's biography, when what we thought...

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By prince-charming / Saturday 7 November 2009 10:12 / Kuwait

Work

Trip Advisor says no

TMI

Non-baby fever

By justkillm3 - 13/5/2010 04:07 - United States

Today, I came home after ten hours at work to find my unemployed wife and 4 kids sprawled out watching TV waiting for me to get home and cook for them. I had to wash all the dishes first because they didn't feel like getting up or helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45012

You deserved it

9113

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By geeklove - 16/1/2012 03:30 - United States

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34633

You deserved it

7463

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By Whipped Cream - 24/11/2012 05:38 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21271

You deserved it

49455

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By devourer, apparently - 14/8/2018 22:18

Today, my boyfriend of two years told me that I had grown on him. I thought it was cute, until he added, "like a flesh eating bacteria". FML

I agree, your life sucks

2341

You deserved it

246

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By chill - 17/12/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25524

You deserved it

4262

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By Anonymous - 14/8/2012 00:55 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26932

You deserved it

4630

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:39 - South Africa

Today, I was in a very crowded train coming home from work. I saw a cute guy sitting across from me. As I lifted my one leg to hook it over my other leg, I let out a loud fart. All I could do was sit there and wait for my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31080

You deserved it

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By donuts678 - 16/8/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks

20196

You deserved it

8186

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By Anonymous - 31/12/2016 06:55 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22997

You deserved it

1588

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By Stressy - 12/2/2010 11:39 - United Kingdom

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28309

You deserved it

3189

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By Username - 16/4/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13141

You deserved it

84464

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By Anonymous - 14/9/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29119

You deserved it

5485

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By Razz - 15/7/2015 22:02 - Australia - Lilydale

Today, I got fired, apparently for being racist to black people. When I told my boyfriend, he couldn't stop laughing. He's black. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34325

You deserved it

3352

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By noway - 22/3/2015 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a girl asked me to check out her left breast, which she said she'd found a strange lump on. I'm an orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30776

You deserved it

3431

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By Anonymous - 23/10/2014 01:33 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36871

You deserved it

4096

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By huh? - 22/7/2020 20:00

Race against the clock

Today, we found out that my 13-year-old cousin is pregnant. My mom then turned to me and asked why I decided to wait so long. I’m only 20. Instead of being worried that this young girl has potentially ruined her entire life, my mom just complained that her sister "gets to be a grandma first." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2233

You deserved it

122

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By Nirius - 22/10/2017 06:00

Today, I spent 2 hours painstakingly making a berry tart for my best friend. As I was taking it out of the oven, the glass dish slipped from my hands and shattered all over the kitchen floor. Now I have no tart and I owe her housemate a new dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3727

You deserved it

459

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By SmellyCloset - 5/10/2014 21:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39576

You deserved it

4895

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By Anonymous - 19/3/2014 01:07 - United Kingdom - Burnley

Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35637

You deserved it

4884

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By Anonymous - 8/6/2015 19:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28961

You deserved it

3184

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By Sam - 14/10/2017 04:30

Today, I went to the doctor to get my swollen lymph nodes checked. As it turns out, they aren't swollen. I'm just fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2885

You deserved it

875

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By Anonymous - 6/2/2013 18:00 - United States - Fairview

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29061

You deserved it

5310

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By Anonymous - 24/8/2009 11:33 - Romania

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44532

You deserved it

8901

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By Anonymous - 13/7/2012 23:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32825

You deserved it

7810

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By ouharguohargssdf - 28/9/2013 21:01 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41287

You deserved it

2876

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By Mommy - 26/6/2011 20:47 - United States

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

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12414

You deserved it

28102

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By Anonymous - 8/12/2014 23:11 - United States - Falls Church

Today, my mother has issued a 'Christmas Ultimatum'. The rest of us have exactly 2 days to "get some Christmas around here" or we will feel her wrath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28248

You deserved it

4288

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By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29440

You deserved it

2537

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By Anonymous - 5/9/2011 04:38 - Canada

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33597

You deserved it

15136

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By black_commet08 - 10/2/2010 05:11 - France

Today, a white guy tried to teach me to use chopsticks properly. I'm Chinese and have been using them since I could eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35655

You deserved it

4853

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By Mr. King - 16/3/2016 08:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17812

You deserved it

1785

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By - 28/12/2019 18:00

Special wedding

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

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2108

You deserved it

1330

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By Falouila - 17/12/2008 07:15 - France

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25662

You deserved it

4973

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By BALEIGHLOVE17 - 20/5/2011 05:46

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47681

You deserved it

3719

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By Zoogangcapk - 1/1/2020 05:00

Double Impact

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is pregnant. The problem is that I don't know how to tell my wife... Who is also pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

501

You deserved it

9555

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By lalibear - 3/5/2009 16:07 - United States

Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49162

You deserved it

7234

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By sportyhusband - 20/1/2010 03:46 - United States

Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14060

You deserved it

26008

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By Deconstructed - 19/5/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46020

You deserved it

27885

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By Username - 4/8/2011 09:15 - United States

Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML

I agree, your life sucks

35623

You deserved it

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By brittaneejanex - 2/6/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

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Top comments

By perdix | 29

#659476 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:51

But the Prince had lots of money, so all the "princesses" found him Charming enough.

"Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome"

By papadugg | 0

#659513 - Saturday 7 November 2009 20:01

Kids are really literal~probably thought narrator meant "Prince Handsome". Follow it up with "was the Prince Charming?" and you'd get a "YES!"

COMMENTS

By perdix | 29

#659476 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:51

But the Prince had lots of money, so all the "princesses" found him Charming enough.

"Stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome"

blackie123 | 0

#659487 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:54

good song ^.^

boredperson | 0

#664935 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:20

dude kids don't have raging hormones like the rest of us, also, who are you, a serial molester, to care about what kids think.

MissyWissyKach | 0

#763986 - Saturday 9 January 2010 15:11

i think the picture was cute :]

gwinsdavineraven | 0

#764680 - Saturday 9 January 2010 20:48

It's just a story so calm down...
Asshole

e3r4 | 0

#766172 - Sunday 10 January 2010 17:13

yeah dude. don't have to be a dick.

LOLSMILEYFACE331 | 0

#771251 - Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:44

Who cares.!!!? LITTLE KIDS ARE SO BLUNT..

WorldCupCheer | 0

#1000293 - Friday 21 May 2010 7:37

oh come on op they're 5

thatonek1d | 0

#1033334 - Thursday 17 June 2010 7:12

not an fml. ydi for playing a charcter who is nearly as big a douche as that bieber chick/guy. lol I type in bieber on my iPod and it change it to norbert

Celesta | 11

#1191955 - Thursday 5 August 2010 5:09

Yay an illustrated FML from Kuwait! ;p

By velvel | 7

#659479 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:51

kids don't lie! too bad but... you'll live.

deathmajestic | 0

#766282 - Sunday 10 January 2010 18:50

oh yes they do

Tigg3r | 3

#766408 - Sunday 10 January 2010 20:23

oh god kids lie so much that they are telling the truth within a lie. Confusing aint it?

CarryOnAgainx | 0

#766654 - Sunday 10 January 2010 22:52

Ehh, you got "Kids don't lie!" from Shane Dawson.

Remegy | 3

#842653 - Thursday 11 February 2010 0:30

Nope; Shade Dawson got that from him DUH!

zmed | 0

#864966 - Wednesday 17 February 2010 9:22

uuuhhhh...what? since when?

By Starfire22 | 5

#659500 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:57

even little kidsare repulsed by you!!

By f_me247 | 0

#659503 - Saturday 7 November 2009 19:58

YDI for not being charming.

analo_fml | 8

#764931 - Saturday 9 January 2010 23:56

who said he wasn't charming? you mean being handsome?

By papadugg | 0

#659513 - Saturday 7 November 2009 20:01

Kids are really literal~probably thought narrator meant "Prince Handsome". Follow it up with "was the Prince Charming?" and you'd get a "YES!"

sezza1987 | 0

#765829 - Sunday 10 January 2010 11:38

kids aren't stupid, they would have understood

Lim23 | 0

#856531 - Monday 15 February 2010 2:42

You'll be surprised...

By papahmarioulez | 0

#659565 - Saturday 7 November 2009 20:20

to the OP, if you really care enough about what 5 year olds think about the way you look, then your messed up

bartmasta | 0

#659699 - Saturday 7 November 2009 21:43

this

fatraptorjesus13 | 9

#2954672 - Saturday 23 July 2011 1:03

I'd care more about 5 year olds cause they're honest, Ppl older than middle school lie to hurt you so he's not messed up

By erowlyn | 0

#659715 - Saturday 7 November 2009 21:55

ouch fml indeed

By Mortanious | 0

#659725 - Saturday 7 November 2009 21:59

YDI for letting 5 year olds get to you, grow some balls bitch

franfran_fml | 0

#777161 - Saturday 16 January 2010 3:22

They probably didn't really care about what the kid said, they were just trying to get their story on FML, so calm down man.

Mr_Tuff_Guy | 0

#792796 - Saturday 23 January 2010 8:44

Ahahaha!

By lostfaithinpppl | 19

#659738 - Saturday 7 November 2009 22:06

Hahaha!!! Come on! They are kids. You are acting like a 5 year old yourself if you let it get to you :D

By gpstyne | 0

#659749 - Saturday 7 November 2009 22:13

you'll live