By FML Approved - United States - New York Short People Struggles You can do it! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By camp - United States Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML I agree, your life sucks 80876 You deserved it 27547 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML I agree, your life sucks 37412 You deserved it 10152 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankssiren - United Kingdom - Sandiacre Today, my friend started his first day of work with me. I thought it'd be fun, but he's been putting on an obnoxious fake French accent and saying "merde" whenever anything goes wrong. Half the women at the office want his dick, and I'm still as single as ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 47323 You deserved it 5966 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML I agree, your life sucks 64734 You deserved it 7319 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I learned that shaving my unibrow while drunk/high was a terrible idea. I also learned that one brow looks better than no brow. FML I agree, your life sucks 8945 You deserved it 56167 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Busted - United States Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML I agree, your life sucks 31985 You deserved it 4235 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 1653 You deserved it 425 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lrn2spel, teach - United States - Mogadore Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML I agree, your life sucks 46541 You deserved it 4504 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tammylauraine - United States Today, after handing out several résumés for several jobs, I realized that I forgot to add my phone number to them. FML I agree, your life sucks 11168 You deserved it 31796 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jon - United States Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML I agree, your life sucks 22471 You deserved it 47263 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By giantsfan2010 - United States Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML I agree, your life sucks 18473 You deserved it 28535 212 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By heartless - Canada Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML I agree, your life sucks 53037 You deserved it 10328 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Watchung Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML I agree, your life sucks 37509 You deserved it 22268 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML I agree, your life sucks 40641 You deserved it 7392 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rex - United States - Camden Do Not Pass Go Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML I agree, your life sucks 3571 You deserved it 318 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CaptMacLeod - United States - Lancaster Today, after weeks of eating in the same restaurant, I finally worked up the nerve to ask the super-cute cashier for her phone number. "Aw, how cute. Do you have an older brother?" FML I agree, your life sucks 22586 You deserved it 2105 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MusicLover18 - Canada - Leduc Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML I agree, your life sucks 43493 You deserved it 4204 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/5/2020 20:00 A load of hot air Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 1517 You deserved it 625 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GrLifeusx - United States Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML I agree, your life sucks 31849 You deserved it 58313 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Katy3225 - United States - Rockaway Park First Impression Today, it was my first day teaching economics to a university class of 150. For the first 5 minutes, a bunch of students snickered. I asked why. One said, "Your zipper's open, but it doesn't matter because your blue panties are showing through your white pants anyway." FML I agree, your life sucks 3483 You deserved it 1619 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - Canada - Calgary Today, I can remember dozens of serial killers, their victims, the way they killed, the length of their prison sentences, and anything else about them, but nothing related to my upcoming science test. FML I agree, your life sucks 5774 You deserved it 1927 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By quackers - United States - Columbus Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML I agree, your life sucks 13750 You deserved it 1188 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zero_minded12 - United States Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML I agree, your life sucks 33770 You deserved it 70954 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DuckyKiller - United States Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML I agree, your life sucks 24509 You deserved it 57303 311 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Denver Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML I agree, your life sucks 58129 You deserved it 5451 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By muzikmaler91 - United States Pizzzaaaaaaa Today, I called Pizza Hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML I agree, your life sucks 7503 You deserved it 49868 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KWM - United States Today, I shook hands with a girl and held onto her hand while telling her she had very tiny, delicate hands. When I let go to look at them, I discovered she only had two fingers. FML I agree, your life sucks 15100 You deserved it 38944 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jon - United Kingdom Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time only to realise she squeals like a baby pig in the process. FML I agree, your life sucks 41262 You deserved it 9361 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 5974 You deserved it 506 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrtySnchez - United States - Statham Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML I agree, your life sucks 57848 You deserved it 3630 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah grace Today, I challenged my husband to look after our twins by himself all day, like I normally do. When I got home, both babies had on clean nappies and clothes, dinner was cooked, the house was spotless, and 3 loads of washing were done. Smug bastard. FML I agree, your life sucks 2508 You deserved it 7724 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By enriquegay - United States Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML I agree, your life sucks 59053 You deserved it 37433 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tommy - United States Today, I called my friend in Australia to have a nice long chat, what I did not know was that my dad had removed my international calling plan, I talked to my friend for 5 hours, and ran up a huge phone bill, which I have to take out of the money I saved up to go see her. FML I agree, your life sucks 52030 You deserved it 8299 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By soccer8goalie - United States - Parkersburg Today, I was punched in the face because my uncontrollable hiccups were "annoying". FML I agree, your life sucks 40191 You deserved it 4569 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By B - United States Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML I agree, your life sucks 25256 You deserved it 4639 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML I agree, your life sucks 57422 You deserved it 19842 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mypelvishurts - United States - Santa Rosa Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML I agree, your life sucks 41077 You deserved it 6607 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tbalboa - United States Today, a cop pulled me over and started bitching me out. He was certain I'd been drinking, because, "Nobody goes to Albertacos this late at night unless they're drunk." FML I agree, your life sucks 31668 You deserved it 3259 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yourmom - United States Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML I agree, your life sucks 45358 You deserved it 4729 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Denmark Today, I got the flu. Feeling really sick and depressed, I called my boyfriend to get some comfort. When he didn't answer his cell, I called his house, only to hear his mother telling me "he was so sad that we broke up." I didn't know. FML I agree, your life sucks 36487 You deserved it 2473 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 10 You deserved it 101 1 Comments
Today, I tried pouring water on myself like in Coyote Ugly to the song "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I ended up waterboarding myself and I didn’t stop until... I agree, your life sucks 61 You deserved it 318 5 Comments