The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 143

Dodged a bullet

By Newly single - 07/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 379

Boys will be boys

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 04:59

Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 973

Charming

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, a delivery driver called me, wanting directions in a city that's halfway across the state from where I live. He insisted he was calling the right number (he wasn't), so I had to explain slowly that I don't live there, don't know where he is, and couldn't help him. He responded, "Fuck you, then," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 78

Dodger

By Abandoned - 29/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 66

Bite the bullet

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 74

Oh no, the horror!

By Anonymous - 07/09/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom - Abertillery

Today, it’s too complicated to explain how I found out but suffice it to say I learned that the actress I shared a kiss with on stage at the theatre had given her boyfriend a blowjob less than ten minutes before coming on stage and kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 89

Link please

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 03:00

Today, my wife sold her first painting and was so proud of herself, until she found the buyer online and realized his YouTube page is full of videos where he paints over horrible art and turns it into good art. Her painting was on it, and yes, he visibly improved it and yes, my wife is raging at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 56

Pizza? In this economy?

By I do cook just FYI - 05/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 142

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 88

A day in the life

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 18:00

Today, I kicked my coffee table while barefoot, got an X-ray, and I’d cracked the bone. Got home, kicked the exact same table with the exact same toe, got another X-ray, the crack is now a full-on break. What a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 971

Meaningful

By Just a guy - 21/03/2024 14:00 - Netherlands - Delfzijl

Today, I learned that the word "cancer" is so misused on social media platforms as a swear word, it's difficult to place a comment explaining that I have cancer without getting an automated response like, "Comment under moderation" or "Comment under review." FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 104

Never again

By Phillip - 20/01/2025 03:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I ordered a pizza with extra cheese and no tomatoes. The pizza delivery guy handed me the box, and as I opened it, I discovered that they had delivered me a pizza… with only tomatoes and no cheese. I called the pizza place to complain, but they just said, “Well, tomatoes are technically fruit, so it’s healthy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 109

Missed the boat

By dyl - 09/01/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, things I was bullied for such as having online friends, playing Roblox, Steam, and other video games, are now seen as cool. I wished I could have a social life as a teenager and turned to online gaming because nobody wanted to invite me out with them. Apparently, teens socialize over that now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 155

By parentfail - 11/12/2010 14:44 - United Kingdom

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 108

By NoPainNoGain - 05/06/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 122

You have mail!

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 04:01

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 433

By minibuch1505 - 21/09/2012 11:31 - France - Halluin

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 112

The struggle is real

By Alone - 15/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I've come to accept that while my family claims to be supportive of my disabilities, they become completely ableist whenever they're the source of the problem, or if my problems otherwise have a direct effect on them. I have no real friends in this world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 197

Sponges

By ToxicFamily - 10/12/2024 03:00 - Germany

Today, my brother and sister-in-law come over ONLY to use up the resources at our house - like food, TV subscriptions, and other items. They claim to love my kids and come over for them. If only they would look up from their phone and spend actual time with the kids. Is there a way to block toxic relatives? FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 124

Family business

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 07:00 - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I found out on LinkedIn that my dad follows and endorses a successful cousin of ours. I guess I didn't make the cut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 133

Cheap ass

By Anonymous - 11/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, on our drive down to California to work on a contract worth 20k with my husband (we own our business and work together), he refused to spend $50 on RV parking, so we didn't get to sleep all night, all because it was hot and the rest-stop was scary. We have two young kids and a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 115

Never too old for freedom

By Anonymous - 11/06/2023 00:02

Today, my last grown child moved out and into their own place. As I stood in my house, which was finally empty and quiet for the first time in 37 years, all I could think was, "THANK GOD THOSE IRRITATING SODS ARE GONE, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK, BUT DAMN IT, I’M TOO OLD TO HAVE REAL FUN ANYMORE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 834

Get me out of this mess!

By Anonymous - 21/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, two more years until I can move out. My mom takes up so much space in the house, even in my room, I don't even have enough space for my own clothes, and I'm not allowed to get rid of ones that don't fit. How am I supposed to survive another two years here when I have a breakdown about her suffocating me once a week? FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 106

Dizzy

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 82

By Flicker - 14/05/2009 07:23 - Australia

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 51

Unreliable

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, despite getting to the bus stop early, the first bus didn’t turn up. The second one was late, and severe traffic caused me to be late for work. I can’t afford for my wages to be docked from this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 124

Moving on fast

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 03:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend, who he met in Vegas, flies in. My mother is still alive in a dementia care facility. I don't know how to feel about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 63

Miss you

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I saw a text from my mom asking, “Are you still with that girl from last year? I miss her.” She was talking about my ex. The girl I’m dating now saw the message before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 97

Cat spooking season

By Trisha - 25/08/2023 20:00 - United States - San Bernadino

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 313

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The Top

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 912

You deserved it 10 613

Today, as I'm traditional, this that means I learned the bride's parents pay for wedding, the groom's parents pay for the honeymoon. My in-laws didn't pay for a honeymoon. Fine - they disappointed me, I'll disappoint them with no grandchildren. No honeymoon, no grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 2 900

Today, I sent a text to a girl I met last night. Since we'd both had a few drinks, I texted, “U alive?” It wasn’t until later I found it it had autocorrected to “U alone?” when she texted back that she was “creeped out” and “no longer felt safe around me,” and promptly blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 722

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 326

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 19 394

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 816

You deserved it 5 988