When you have to raise the bar... By Lewis - 27/12/2018 19:00 - France - Paris Not much though... Just a bit higher. I agree, your life sucks 263 You deserved it 114 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML I agree, your life sucks 712 You deserved it 498
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML I agree, your life sucks 739 149 You deserved it 496 187
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 407 You deserved it 3 611
Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML I agree, your life sucks 54 024 You deserved it 3 072
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML I agree, your life sucks 59 790 You deserved it 4 006
Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 606 You deserved it 9 478
Today, I don't know what's worse, the fact that my hair sheds so much, or the fact that I find most of it in my butt crack. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 262 You deserved it 432
Today, working in retail, I noticed a customer looking for an item, so I walked up to them and asked, "Is there something I can help you find?" He replied, "Did I ask for your fucking help?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1 902 You deserved it 206
Savage
she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head.....