By Lewis - France - Paris When you have to raise the bar... Not much though... Just a bit higher. 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By paper towel virgin - United States - Warrensburg Technologically Challenged Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 22300 You deserved it 40181 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clecker - Australia Today, I finally paid off the massive debt on my credit card. I came home only to find that almost everything I owned had been repossessed an hour before I paid the debt. FML I agree, your life sucks 37528 You deserved it 12904 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kraussy - United States Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 53450 You deserved it 5302 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me. Why? I was late for our date. We arrived at the restaurant together. FML I agree, your life sucks 1844 You deserved it 149 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML I agree, your life sucks 13654 You deserved it 67790 228 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The_Waffle - United States - Cleveland Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML I agree, your life sucks 13479 You deserved it 898 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cockfist - United Kingdom - Glasgow Today, I spent my first night at my boyfriend's place, and my first night sleeping beside him. I woke up in the early hours to him holding me and muttering in his sleep something like "surprise fisting". I'm beyond terrified. FML I agree, your life sucks 56055 You deserved it 6681 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Good 2 have friends. - United States Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 14151 You deserved it 26729 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/5/2020 20:02 Johnny Weissmuller over here Today, I was walking in the woods with the girl I like when I saw a vine overhanging a small creek. Trying to make her laugh, I took off my shirt and started swinging on the vine like Tarzan. The vine snapped and I fell into the creek. Guess who's missing half the skin on his back? FML I agree, your life sucks 647 You deserved it 2080 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cheeseburglar_9000 - United States - Saint Paul Today, I learned that if not for my grandfather gifting my dad $200, I would have been named Anthrax. FML I agree, your life sucks 36682 You deserved it 2844 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Breaux Bridge Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML I agree, your life sucks 28364 You deserved it 5969 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By holliefall - United States Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML I agree, your life sucks 51406 You deserved it 22700 350 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hotdogbunz Today, my coworker was supposed to pick me up to go to a work event as my car is broken. I waited 3 hours and he never showed. After he arrived late to the event due to traffic, he told my boss that he waited for me and I never came out. Guess who's unemployed now. FML I agree, your life sucks 5163 You deserved it 367 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML I agree, your life sucks 1412 You deserved it 327 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheEnglishOne - United States Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML I agree, your life sucks 66686 You deserved it 8636 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Baltimore Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML I agree, your life sucks 52215 You deserved it 4397 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/3/2021 14:30 - United States - Alexandria Thanks guys Today I was offered an opportunity on Instagram from a local lady to take photos of her home for her. I told my friends, because I was shocked. They were shocked too. But in the nicest terms possible, they were shocked because my Instagram "isn’t really professional enough to get such offers." Ouch. FML I agree, your life sucks 715 You deserved it 132 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - United States Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML I agree, your life sucks 33142 You deserved it 5174 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jigglypluff - United States - Omaha Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML I agree, your life sucks 42103 You deserved it 4907 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By emeraldapostle Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML I agree, your life sucks 2080 You deserved it 131 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ipopnlok - Australia Romance is dead Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house, I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied, "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML I agree, your life sucks 56730 You deserved it 14828 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wrongplacewrongtime - United States - San Antonio Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML I agree, your life sucks 19851 You deserved it 58032 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I walked into the living room to find my boyfriend plucking his ball hairs with the same tweezers I use for my eyebrows. FML I agree, your life sucks 6610 You deserved it 862 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Federal Way Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML I agree, your life sucks 27859 You deserved it 1884 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By funnymanjoe - United States Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML I agree, your life sucks 37647 You deserved it 5726 285 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML I agree, your life sucks 45504 You deserved it 21084 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dorrisdoes - New Zealand Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 38242 You deserved it 10121 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ALO - United States - Bossier City Married life Today, I found out my husband of 7 years has been cheating on me with "10-15" people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2947 You deserved it 201 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepylillion - United States - Eleele Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML I agree, your life sucks 14151 You deserved it 1506 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eric Ngan - Singapore - Singapore Today, a pigeon got into my apartment. After knocking over a very expensive vase, it panicked, rammed itself against a window, and shat all over the floor as it tried to get out. FML I agree, your life sucks 24153 You deserved it 2133 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kenton Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML I agree, your life sucks 1505 You deserved it 146 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gottapee - United States Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 30606 You deserved it 5993 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hiii. - United States Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML I agree, your life sucks 11302 You deserved it 40734 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Toasted Shocking! Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML I agree, your life sucks 812 You deserved it 2363 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML I agree, your life sucks 32084 You deserved it 2302 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Owen - Canada - Edmonton Today, my teacher wore a bikini at the pool. She is 68. FML I agree, your life sucks 26884 You deserved it 4687 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crash - United States Beep beep Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10137 You deserved it 61213 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Spokane Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 50430 You deserved it 3356 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Allie cat Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML I agree, your life sucks 9402 You deserved it 1550 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By elliekilroy - United Kingdom Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 15136 You deserved it 29034 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chris Smith_1291676952 | 8 #7744034 - Thursday 27 December 2018 20:11 Savage Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Dragonsong | 7 #7907416 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 2:25 she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head..... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Chris Smith_1291676952 | 8 #7744034 - Thursday 27 December 2018 20:11 Savage Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Dragonsong | 7 #7907416 - Wednesday 20 May 2020 2:25 she sounded like a lamb after kissing that bar with her head..... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my 5 year-old daughter and I had the displeasure of walking in on my husband going down on another woman. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that... I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 23 3 Comments
Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the... I agree, your life sucks 522 You deserved it 118 2 Comments