Today, my soon-to-be step-daughter had as absolute meltdown at our rehearsal dinner, screaming that I ruined her family. Her parents were divorced 10 years before I even met him. Her mother was there because we’re friends. She’s 23 years-old. I honestly don’t know which one of us was more embarrassed. FML
Today, after spending eight weeks making a life-size clay Cocker Spaniel in class. I left it in the middle of a large table in the empty art classroom, ready to paint, and went to the bathroom for a minute. I came back to see two young girls shiftily running out of said classroom, walked in and it was in shards on the floor. FML
Today, I was released from jail. Why was I in jail? Last night, I used my taser on a much larger, drunken male individual who wouldn't physically keep his hands off me, despite me telling him to back off. Everything was on camera outside the bar, yet I'm the one who was arrested. Thank you California laws. FML
Today, my husband got home from hospital following a suicide attempt that was a hair's breadth from being successful, and told me he did it because he can’t handle being married, being a father, having responsibilities, then he moved out and refuses to come home. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML
Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML
Today, I was supposed to have my first job interview for a bakery franchise. Turns out all the applications are submitted to every store, and I was called to the wrong one. FML
Today, my daughter has been such a bridezilla that her fiancé actually dumped her. He treated her well, was handsome, and rich to boot, while still working at his career, yet she couldn’t calm down enough to see she was ruining her life. Now, after the breakup, she's moved back in with me. FML
Today, my ex told my boss I’d been faking my negative Covid tests. A complete lie, but I had to take a test in front of my boss, just in case. It was positive. I have never faked a test and had no idea I was infected, but my boss fired me for faking tests. FML
Today, a female friend of mine keeps telling people we’re dating. No matter how many times I told her I'm gay and only attracted to men, she won’t take that for an answer. She’s actually arranged for me to meet her parents next weekend. FML
Today, I tore my calf muscle while skipping and singing Yellow Brick Road. I'm off my foot for 4-6 weeks and don't even have a cool story. FML
Today, I woke up, had great sex, had a delicious breakfast, played with my kid and laid down for a nap… only to wake up in extreme pain, an ambulance ride, and now a doctor saying I need emergency surgery on my leaking gallbladder. FML
Today, I had to watch my niece’s puppy. The darn dog kept finding turds in the yard and eating them. One turd had worms in it. FML
Today, I bought a slice of pizza at my favorite gas station. Upon opening the box, I found that the lone piece of pepperoni visible through the window on the box was in fact the only piece on the whole slice. FML
Today, I came home from work and found that my son had taken every single one of his toys out and left them on the floor. Plus some goldfish crackers. FML
Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a toupee. It's my real hair. FML
Today, it seemed like my new boyfriend worked wonders training my puppy. Now she listens, doesn’t bark and doesn’t chew everything to bits anymore. I was very impressed, until my boyfriend told me beating a dog until it behaves works every time. My dog isn’t trained; she’s too terrified to move. FML
Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML
Today, I’ve been depressed lately and can’t get motivation to clean. My husband helped me clean, while he continued to complain how I should've done this while I was off work. My depression is from his meth use, dating websites, porn, and lying to me about it for 7 months. FML
Never Let Go tells us more.
Hi, OP here. This was back in 2021 and at the end of 2023 my husband went to rehab and he is working his steps and becoming a functioning member of society again. Along with back to being the husband I married❤️ things are great now. I did get involved in an ALANON group that has been insightful and very supportive along with friends and family.
Today, I have to go to court to contest a bullshit citation I got in the local park. I’m pregnant and was picnicking with my kids when my toddler ran off. I took off after him, leaving my blanket and food. When I came back, the power tripping park ranger wrote me a ticket for littering. FML
Today, I overheard my parents discussing their divorce. Apparently, what they mostly disagree over is that neither of them want custody of me and are considering delaying their divorce until I’m 18, because at least then legally I’m not either of their problem to deal with. FML
Today, I learned that my brother has been secretly married to his girlfriend for over a year. That means that during Christmas break, when I told him that she was a "toxic bitch" and that he should leave her before she drags him down with her, they had already been married for 6 months. FML
Today, it was brought to my attention that my dog has a giant anus. I'd never noticed. Now I can't stop staring at his silver dollar-sized backdoor. FML
Today, I found out that the mystery flowers I received from a “Johnny” that caused my boyfriend to dump me on Valentine’s Day was really from him. He concocted this plan to make it look like I was cheating on him with a “Johnny” instead of confessing he was leaving me for someone else. FML
Today, my sister had about 10 seconds of screen time as a nameless extra in a movie and mom won’t stop crying she’s so proud she saw one of her babies on the TV. I used to work for the BBC. I was on TV for minutes at a time, at least once a week, and she was never this proud of me. FML
Today, my husband and roommate went out to protest for the second day in a row. I have an anxiety disorder, so I can't go. I’m just stuck here watching videos of the fires and violence, wondering if they will even come home. FML
Today, I found out my ex-fiance and the girl he cheated on me with are expecting. It’s bad enough he jilted me at the altar four months ago, but the fact that they’re naming their son the same name I wanted to name my miscarried son pours lemon juice in the wound. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I’d feel comfortable pegging him. I had no idea what that meant, so I had to look it up. I tried to keep an open mind but it was just too far outside my comfort zone. Now he’s sulking and complaining about me being a prude. FML
Today, I found out that my wife is indeed cheating on me. Not bad enough? She's sleeping with a guy who squats in a derelict storefront near our house. A hobo stole my wife. FML
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