Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.
Welshite 39
No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.
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Comments (135)
RenoTheRhino 30
Right before he finishes now, let out the most disturbing bloodthirsty roar so he still can't finish.
illegalbeagle69 23
Does being first mean that much to you, you had to put "G"? I mean it's a serious question.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I wondered the same. Congratulations #1. Achievement ******* unlocked.
RenoTheRhino 30
Thank you, fellas.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Come on there isn't even a badge for that
dawood_k 27
Ha ha ha. This is the most brilliant FML ever. Put a bag over your head and leave the light on
RenoTheRhino 30
I know this is early in the voting, but how did OP deserve it? In those uncontrollable spasms and moans, I don't think she needs to control her face expression.
wolfgold2 20
Is your ****** face the same as the thumbnail for GoatJesus' Shit Farts Online?
Sports_guy3 28
#2 your new aren't you?
RenoTheRhino 30
63, I'm assuming you're not new on here, so it's surprising that you don't know the right form of *you're.
Welshite 39
Start wearing masks. Batman is pretty awesome.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Then he might complain about having sex with batman.
Welshite 39
No one ever complains about having sex with Batman.
dawood_k 27
Robin might of complained
Liiiiiiiiike 15
But batman is a dude. I don't think any straight guy would go down on batman. And I'm not trying to be homophobic I'm just saying. Maybe another mask would do like CatWoman or something. I'd be down to go down on CatWoman.
TheKingKen 22
Batgirl can be a good alternative. But as #26 said, I think Catwoman is a better choice :)
lnheritance 19
Id wear a Darth Vader mask, so then when OP gets pregnant she can say, "You are the father."
PenguinBitch 43
@liiiiiike, I guess that Batman joke flew right over your head buddy.
dabears1011234 27
I dont know about that, if I were her I might go with the ronald reagan!
CerSpence 11
Or you could go doggie style. Solves all of the problems and mixes it up a bit.
TechFire 25
Speak for yourself #26
lwm 4
I bet they make Batman sleep masks. *She* could be having sex with Batman, and he wouldn't have to see her face!!
Daevas 18
Speaking of batman, we guys who put up a joker smile don't get the ladies as well as we used too...
TrippingOnAcid 29
Maybe try to control your faces in future to prove yourself to him
tj4234 35
My virgin detector is off the scale with this one. Seriously though, you try controlling your facial features in one of these scenarios and get back to us on that...
desoxyn242 14
39 is right...4 is obviously tight....
aruam365 24
49: What a disgusting way to say that, especially about a stranger who appears to be a fairly young teenager. You really didn't need to confirm what someone had already said in a much funnier way, pervert.
sunnyray812 42
#4 It's not at all easy to just change your ****** expression. When you're reaching that peak, all you can really think about is achieving the ******. It's not at all her fault. I'm so confused as to why this post got so many YDIs. I hope that many people seriously don't think she does in any way.
addictedtoIASIP 14
And let's not forget your god awful bio on your profile. Seriously referencing dropping tabs made zero sense
natalieeliza 11
Spoken like a true sycophant.
desoxyn242 14
Oh my word I guess I should be more careful about what I say on the internet!
little_one 20
#61 dropping tabs refers to taking ecstasy tablets. Gives stop drop and roll a whole new meaning.
Chibi_Kitten 24
@ #60: we all learn new things everyday. But what if OP is an actress?
nightdreamer13 9
Oh please teach me how to have an ****** (not a fake one) and control your face! I would be delighted and so would be the OP.
Invisibleguyy 11
Wear a bag and make holes for the eyes lol. I bet this is gonna get tons of thumb downs xD
TrippingOnAcid 29
As soon as you say that you get thumbed down
dawood_k 27
Oh no I'll give you the first thumbs up
Invisibleguyy 11
#8 Hahh. You got more thumb downs than me. Even I myself gave you one : :P
ashingtondc 3
this thread is hilarious
Wizardo 33
Tell him to do something funny back during sex and even wilder, more passionate sexc times will follow. Trust me I'm a Love Wizard also...
Queen_bee1234 21
Why would anyone want sex advice from someone who calls himself the 'Love Wizard'?
Invisibleguyy 11
A guy who calls himself love wizard o.o I bet you take wands up your ass lmao. WINGARDIUM FILLMYASSUP xD
Wizardo 33
Woah there now, there's this little thing called a joke. In any case it was a bad one I admit and on a side note, I don't appreciate people questioning my sexuality because of a joke.
acerredrum 23
And they replied with a joke.
Wizardo 33
Yhyh, hot blooded moment. Disregard everything people, disregard everything.
iOceanus 18
I was reading a manhwa--Korean manga for those of you that don't know--about mages and wizards and the like, and in it, they reference a real world Korean myth that to become a wizard, you have to be a virgin until you're 25. Ergo, more of a reason not to listen to the "Love Wizard" :p
PassiveAggresive 12
Also a comedian.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
Maybe I've been on the net too long but I can't hear someone call themselves a Love Wizard without remembering that ancient email where someone has cybersex and halfway through comes out with the line "I put on my robes and wizard hat....." spoiling everything
Chibi_Kitten 24
#84: I want to try this now.
n3ophyt3 10
Tell him that its called Fuckface
Almost_Positive 18
That doesn't sound very attractive
Flowtastic 16
@33 then it should match her face according to her bf...
TheKingKen 22
Try a different position. The one where he won't be able to see your face.
dawood_k 27
Let him give you a donkey punch
n3ophyt3 10
The F*ckface
ZorroRooster 19
You said that already. Wasn't funny the first time, either.