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This is actually my post... I hadn't made a FML before this. But yeah, no matter what I do for my constipation, it's like nothing helps. I also have ovarian cysts which makes it very painful.

Body issues

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 10:59

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 347

By britchick95 - 10/10/2012 20:03 - United States - Grand Island

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 769

You deserved it 2 216

britchick95 tells us more.

britchick95 3

Thursday 11 October 2012 1:18

Can't say I've ever been to Ohio.

By burnedboy - 18/01/2010 19:39 - United States

Today, I saw Avatar in iMax 3D. Towards the end of the movie I jump, yelled, and spilled my drink all over the people in front of me because I thought a burning piece of ash landed on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 622

You deserved it 44 632

By exiledliscense - 09/11/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my dad made me quit my online school classes and go back to public school, because apparently when I'm on the computer, it makes his video games lag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 168

You deserved it 5 897

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 13:23 - Canada

Today, my boss asked for recommendations on how to improve the office. I sent her an e-mail full of my ideas. Later, my boss sent me a reply, saying, "Here's what head office thinks of your ideas." It contained a list of insults upper management made about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 3 763

Post-it

By Lalalala - 06/09/2020 02:02 - United States - Austin

Today, my boyfriend told me to stay home, because he wanted to come by to give me a birthday surprise. Later on, he came by, posted a note, rung the bell and left. The note was a break up note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 126

Back again so soon?

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 07:58 - United States - Van Horn

Today, I went to the Chick-fil-A drive through. Instead of asking me my name for my order, I was greeted by my name. I asked how he knew it, and he responded by saying he makes it a point to remember all the great customers' names. He added that I come there all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 1 017

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, I found out I'm getting laid off. However, they're keeping my coworker who rarely shows up and sleeps all the time when he's there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 131

You deserved it 2 455

What's up, doc?

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 02:02 - United States - San Mateo

Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 277

By fired - 04/11/2011 04:04 - Australia

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 947

You deserved it 2 679

By Karim - 12/12/2012 05:29 - France - Aix-en-provence

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 534

You deserved it 3 212

Wanker

By sourgirl101 - 01/03/2023 06:00

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 577

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 03:58 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to make a deposit. While I was waiting on my transaction, the bank tellers were making fun of me. I could tell cause I heard them through the speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 2 651

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 375

You deserved it 2 609

By Chris Chandler - 02/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was so parched I had to take way too long at the water fountain. I was drinking for so long a line started to form. As I finished my drink, the guy behind me puked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 538

On the move

By bluefrisky - 29/09/2012 07:39 - Canada - Toronto

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 092

You deserved it 3 399

Can't get no…

By Anonymous - 21/09/2020 10:05 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 305

By dl_zook - 12/01/2010 17:52 - United States

Today, I was pumping gas and decided to go in for a drink. I discovered that when it's cold, sometimes the gas doesn't stop pumping automatically and starts spewing out onto the sidewalk. I had to pay for $53 of spilled gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 902

You deserved it 33 654

dl_zook tells us more.

dl_zook 6

Thursday 14 January 2010 6:55

jfyi, $17 of it went into my tank. i know it was stupid to leave it unattended, i made the post so other morons, like myself, could maybe not do something so stupid. I am fully aware you are not supposed to leave a pump unattended, something i have known for the past 10 years, regardless of the fact that the gas station i was at did not have a single sign stating the obvious(i went back and checked) i was in the gas station maybe 3 minutes at most and i was prepared and willing to pay any clean up fees needed, however the 'specialized' materials this particular attendant used was kitty litter, which she took off of the shelf and opened before going outside. the only reason i feel this would remotely qualify as a FML vs YDI is that i was stupid enough to think a drink was worth leaving my car alone at the time, so really more of a FML for being an idiot type of thing.