By WAPmeBaby - 25/8/2020 20:02 - United States

Anthony Fantano over here

Today, I'm driving with to Vancouver with my aunt. It's been four hours and she still hasn't gotten tired of her lone Nickelback CD yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1261

You deserved it

202

Tweet

Share

Team breaking

Facts over feelings

The one with the asshole friend

By chiktikka - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48994

You deserved it

8385

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/9/2020 05:02

The Summoner

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1319

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By scared4myhair - United States - Flint

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

I agree, your life sucks

34507

You deserved it

2755

Tweet

Share

By AngelAshley - United Kingdom

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8534

You deserved it

39639

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42473

You deserved it

11552

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37134

You deserved it

15394

Tweet

Share

By Radbaby

Today, nearing the start of what I was hoping to be a relaxing week off, my air conditioning system died. A replacement system will be in the $7000 range, just the amount I'd finally saved for my dream vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3876

You deserved it

253

Tweet

Share

By boyfriendisatoss - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23334

You deserved it

5062

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22085

You deserved it

11196

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61321

You deserved it

3572

Tweet

Share

By movingout - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51449

You deserved it

5277

Tweet

Share

By lovinglife - United Kingdom

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30485

You deserved it

6323

Tweet

Share

By thrill house - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, a woman yelled at me for hurting her. I'm a tattoo artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22742

You deserved it

1706

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally set off an alarm at the school I work for. No one was there, I didn't have the code or password the company needed, my boss wouldn't answer his phone, 3 policemen interrogated me and asked for ID but realized I left home without my wallet. There was nothing I could do. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34011

You deserved it

5764

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/12/2020 23:01

Looking good

Today, I was at a grocery store buying ice cream after the tragedy of losing my grandma. When I got to the cash register, the cashier saw the sadness in my eyes and said, "It's OK, you'll find the one someday, one that can look at your inner beauty and not care about the rest." He thought I'd got broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

905

You deserved it

128

Tweet

Share

By drunkinriot - United States

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34165

You deserved it

3040

Tweet

Share

By chairlee - United States

Today, I stepped on a piece of glass and sliced my right foot open. Hobbling to get my first aid kit, I tripped and stepped on a pair of heels, and sliced my left foot open. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36893

You deserved it

5009

Tweet

Share

By anonymous

Today, my pregnant sister has apparently always loved my boyfriend's name and wants to give it to her child. She expects me to break up with my boyfriend so "it doesn't get weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks

7925

You deserved it

432

Tweet

Share

By stupid - United States

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8732

You deserved it

68410

Tweet

Share

By RBEE - France

Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47319

You deserved it

4107

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31297

You deserved it

2335

Tweet

Share

By Cannachick

Today, I found out how messed up I am when a guy held a knife to my throat and it turned me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1899

You deserved it

413

Tweet

Share

By egsrox95

Today, my best friend had the balls to call me an alcoholic. She snuck vodka on a cruise ship in a Listerine bottle. I've never had a drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3724

You deserved it

322

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up and went into the bathroom and noticed a dark mass in the toilet. Thinking someone took a dump and didn't flush, I approached the toilet ready to dispose of it. That's when I noticed its whiskers and ears. It was a rat, and it was alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61809

You deserved it

3546

Tweet

Share

By theJoblessArchaeologist - Canada - Vancouver

Today, as within the last couple of years, my dream job is only accepting applications from students continuing their degree in the fall. Literally, people with half degrees can get what I can't get with a full degree and experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4213

You deserved it

302

Tweet

Share

By Happyunlucky - United States - Andover

Today, I announced my first pregnancy to my family. Not to be outdone, my sister immediately announced that she "might" be getting pregnant soon. My family ended up congratulating her instead, and asked me if I would plan the baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61758

You deserved it

3333

Tweet

Share

By dukemisery - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, while sitting down on the dentist's chair, the tooth to be removed came out on its own. I still had to pay $50 for the cotton and advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9744

You deserved it

754

Tweet

Share

By Theslacker... - United States - Coplay

Today, a number of people came to visit me in the hospital, including my grandparents. They called me "weak" and "a cowardly millennial" for going to the ER instead of sucking it up, and blamed me for rising healthcare costs. I had a compound fracture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4172

You deserved it

265

Tweet

Share

By greenandswirly - United States - Columbia City

Today, I injured my knee at a Zumba class, a class I joined to lose weight so my knees wouldn't hurt so much. Now I can't even go for a leisurely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5588

You deserved it

786

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Norway - Bergen

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44652

You deserved it

3938

Tweet

Share

By Workhorse - United States - Athens

Today, my boss called me to inform me that I'm being laid off. In my ensuing fit of rage, I deleted the recent project I've been working on for weeks. Pretty soon after, he called me back to let me know it was a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48835

You deserved it

17508

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7919

You deserved it

17855

Tweet

Share

By jess - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31675

You deserved it

6971

Tweet

Share

By Anemity_is_my_name - 7/1/2021 14:01 - United States

Compassion

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1294

You deserved it

71

Tweet

Share

By scarredforlife - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23221

You deserved it

1812

Tweet

Share

By Melinie - United States

Today, I found an empty parking space in a crowded parking lot. When I came back later, a lady and a cop were standing by my car. Her car used to be parked there and got stolen. They think I'm involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30515

You deserved it

1891

Tweet

Share

By izzy46111 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38849

You deserved it

5126

Tweet

Share

By Elis - United States

Today, my mom bought me a t-shirt from the store. It has the U.S. Marines logo on it and says "Marines' Girlfriend". I'm a straight 16 year old boy and my mom only reads and speaks Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61518

You deserved it

4764

Tweet

Share

By squidwardpotatoes - United States

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32163

You deserved it

3242

Tweet

Share

By Darkness162000 - France

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37220

You deserved it

2106

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 29

#7933813 - Tuesday 25 August 2020 20:08

Are we having fun yet?

Yeah-et?

Yeah-et?

By grantssss | 3

#7933842 - Tuesday 25 August 2020 22:26

Aunthony Auntano

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 29

#7933813 - Tuesday 25 August 2020 20:08

Are we having fun yet?

Yeah-et?

Yeah-et?

By grantssss | 3

#7933842 - Tuesday 25 August 2020 22:26

Aunthony Auntano

By mccuish | 18

#7933882 - Wednesday 26 August 2020 7:31

Which Nickelback album is it? I give some points if it was the feed the Machine’s album

By AmbrosiaFan | 18

#7933997 - Wednesday 26 August 2020 18:05

Tell Auntie if you are driving you control the tunes.

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7934776 - Sunday 30 August 2020 6:36

I'm through with driving inside this car I've never been in
It's like the bottom of my life, and I'm never gonna win
This drive hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be