Today, the device I bought to gradually stretch my penis longer arrived in the mail. I'm too small to get it to stay on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought an electric sex toy to make masturbating more interesting. My penis wasn’t long enough to reach the moving massaging parts on the inside, and just pathetically rested a few inches inside the opening. I could call it a bad design but I’d be lying, I just have a small dick. FML
Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, I received the beautiful dress I'd ordered on the internet. It's a size smaller than my usual, just to encourage me to lose weight. I managed to fit into it and wear it all day, but I've now been struggling for a couple of hours to remove it without tearing it to bits. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Anderling 33
If it helps you any, those types of devices normally don’t work and are likely to actively damage your equipment rather than extend it. Most sexual partners will appreciate effort over Biggus Dickus. And if the one you’re interested in doesn’t, well, they can screw right off.
JackWood 21
Kinda like a pencil is your name richard?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (8)
JackWood 21
Kinda like a pencil is your name richard?
JuliaKay14 33
This is probably the funniest comment I’ve ever seen on here, good job!
Anderling 33
If it helps you any, those types of devices normally don’t work and are likely to actively damage your equipment rather than extend it. Most sexual partners will appreciate effort over Biggus Dickus. And if the one you’re interested in doesn’t, well, they can screw right off.
Iamthebanzai22 21
I understand that one can really develop a complex over a small penis. However, your penis is only one of the many 'tools' that you can use to give a woman pleasure. You have fingers, a tongue and, most notably, a mind/imagination. I am a BDSM practitioner and primarily I am a sensualist and I have learned how to make women ****** on command (Obviously not every woman). Focus on developing what you do have and what you don't have will become way less important. And then, when you get a girlfriend, well, there are always sex toys.
RichardPencil 32
You might need to start the process with a little superglue at first. Soon enough, your **** will be so huge it'll shatter the device! No one wants to be a pencil dick, am I right?!
JackWood 21
That's weird your commenting on your own FML
DirtySalamander 9
he's speaking from experience
Crowned Sataness 12
most grown ass women, and I am one, don't care so much about length as they do girth. we can only feel a couple inches anyway. if a man isn't blessed in the girth either, there are plenty of other options. fingers, mouth, toys, combo of everything. I have been with some TINY ass men and they were some of the best I've had
Brightside86 31
Anything that says it can make your dick bigger is a scam and probably dangerous. If it really did work that company would be a Fortune 500 company overnight and everyone would know about it. There are some elective surgery that sort of work but expensive and risky, and ultimately not really the same as natural endowment. Any relationship that depends on you getting risky surgery for vanity is a relationship that should be a hard pass.
spinningrecords 14
Your life sucks but your penis pump doesn’t.
tiptoppc 21
As a person in a larger percentile (no really, I just don’t care about my size vs anyone else), too large can also be an issue. Doesn’t feel go either hitting the cervix, or having your cervix hit repeatedly. Larger girth can also cause problems. Just like how every guys sexual organ differs in size, so to do Vaginas and how far in the Cervix is. I got lucky my wife’s cervix is far up in there, but at full inflation, she sometimes has pain just from the girth alone. Had an Ex the same issue. She kept tearing, even with lube and taking a long time. Did you know the vaginal canal can elongate when arroused? Much like the penis can grow, so too can that! Wish I learned more as a teen on this stuff, but super religious parents ****** up any sexual education I had. I had to learn everything as an adult, and my wife came from a stricter family that demonized her for even having a period! Seriously, Sex Ed is a joke when it comes to religion. I believe there should be a mandatory minimum taught in public schools. No opting out bs based on religion. It ***** people up from lack of information.