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OP here, just for some more info we had given her a card at the same time and my dad wrote Rich in it, he just accidentally let Jim slip on accident. my dad is not an "idiot", he just wasn't thinking clearly at the time

By Anonymous - 27/08/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year-old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 910

You deserved it 43 696

By sighoutloud - 16/10/2009 03:36 - United States

Today, my fiancé told my mom that she screwed me up. I now have to write an apologetic e-mail to her for something that I agree with, in order for her to stop calling me crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 3 848

By Joel - 25/08/2010 19:13 - United States

Today, I made a mistake at work that got seven people fired. I'm scared to leave the office because they're all outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 531

You deserved it 70 089

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 541

You deserved it 11 086

Peek a boo

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 02:31 - United States - Tampa

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 152

You deserved it 16 197

By Nick - 22/08/2010 23:33 - France

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 044

You deserved it 8 265

Exhausted parents can relate

By ajnmegs - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 681

You deserved it 6 069

Unwanted

By Anonymous - 28/04/2021 00:30

Today, I found out my mom had been telling everyone how independent I was and just wanted to be left alone. I was homeless when I graduated valedictorian from high school and wondering why no one would let me stay with them, even when it was snowing. Now I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 118

Alexa, play "Why Can't I Be You?" by The Cure

By UGHHHH - 17/10/2023 00:02

Today, my best friend and longtime crush actually said the words, “Why can’t I find a girl like you?” I told him, “I'm a girl like me, am I not enough?” He winced, hemmed and hawed at the answer, then quickly changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 226

Soundtrack

By Mortifiedcharityworker - 01/05/2014 20:10 - Austria

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 371

You deserved it 38 740

By Anonymous - 17/06/2011 21:14 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to prepare for my graduation party. I'd invited the entire graduating class of 2011, and tons of people confirmed that they were going to come. Two hours after the time I'd told everyone to show up, I'm still the only one here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 020

You deserved it 4 310

By SadisticSatire - 11/10/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to work to find two new beautiful trainees. I thought maybe I might be able to hook up with one of them, so I walk up and flash my blue eyes and begin to act like a gentleman. Not five minutes into our conversation the girls ask me if there are any cute guys working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 335

You deserved it 39 977

By loserman - 29/04/2014 22:40 - United States - Frisco

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 845

You deserved it 3 785

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 4 913

By Turbo - 17/06/2019 02:23

Today, as a truck driver, I was flipped off, cursed at, told to go to hell and several other obscenities because I was a half-hour EARLY to my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 173

By Seriously - 15/06/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 311

You deserved it 8 495

By jeffswife - 09/10/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I went to the mall to pick up the 1 carat diamond my husband recently purchased for me after 6 years of being together. My mom called, I answered my cell. Later, I realized that the baggie with the diamond was no longer in my pocket. It fell out when I answered my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 181

You deserved it 32 860

jeffswife tells us more.

jeffswife 0

Monday 12 October 2009 9:49

Lol! Despite all the mean comments, I thought I would clarify a few things. #1 I am completely aware that I deserved it. #2 The whole reason I had the diamond in a baggie in my pocket was that I had JUST picked it up from the store. We were not buying their solitaire mounting, because I already had another setting picked out at a different store. #3 My mom was babysitting my son, and had taken him on an hour long drive, so I was waiting at the mall for her to come back, she would call me when she got home. I went across the way to the Apple Store, and I was only there for about half an hour when she called me, and I took out my phone. #4 I don't own a handbag! I'm not a girly girl and I hate purses. The good news: I filed a police report to get the footage from the Apple Store. They caught the person who didn't turn it in. =P KARRRMA. They had already sold it, but my insurance is replacing it. Also, anyone who thinks this is something to get divorced over...you are ridiculous. =] My husband and I are very much in love, and we have a beautiful baby boy together. These are petty little things. Money comes and goes, and it is not worth fighting over.