everybody blames there parents suck it up ass wipe take responsibility for screwing yourself up

True or not, don't rock the boat. You don't go and tell your parents or in-laws about all the bad shit they've done to you. It causes needless trouble. OP, yes it's annoying when your overly dramatic, possibly abusive mom calls crying and you know you have to make her feel better, but the past is in the past and your fiance was being unnecessarily cruel. I agree with number 1. This whole thing is his fault. Though you might worry about the fact that he thinks you're screwed up.

while it can be the kids fault your language alone makes you sound like a horrendous parent.

For 20 years I used to blame my mom for some of the things she did wrong while raising me that screwed me up for a long time. (nothing extremely bad like molest me). I would talk to her about it and it would make her cry every time. "I wasnt a good mother, I should have realized.., you should hate me," etc. When I got a lot older and wiser I realized that what happened then is over and all and all my mother loves me and would do anything for me and has proven she would in my toughest times. Now instead of dwelling over what she should or shouldnt have done, I just enjoy the god damned great mother I have now and make sure she knows it. Any of you thinking that the OP's mother should be crying, I hope your own mother never gets treated that way by you. I don't think an apologize for something you believe is true is the right thing but lay off the "Let her cry" shit.

That's a lovely sentiment and all, but the O.P's mother might not be like your mother. Not everyone has great parents. So lay off the "be grateful" shit.

That's nice and all 28, but not everyone has a mother who tries to be a good one. I shouldn't have to forgive my mother for the unwarranted physical abuse and psychological trainwreck that came out of her attempts to turn an intelligent human being into an airhead stereotype. The woman tried to hide my dreams from me and felt no shame in lying to my face in order to sabotage my social life. If OP's mother is as psychotic as mine, she owes the woman NOTHING.

I'm willing to bet she's been a pretty shitty mother if the OP's fiance called her out on it.

Usually mothers who "screw their kids up" that bad, arnt that unaware. For her to be this upset obviously means she cares. Instead of writing an apology note, why not talk to her and see her side. Raising a kid is extremely difficult, and unless she abused you then you owe her something for trying.

#4 - #9 Yeah, it is worded pretty badly. I had to reread it a few times before I got it. Basically, the OP's Fiance told the OP's Mother that she screwed up the OP (wasn't a fit mother or something) and now the OP has to write an apology letter to her mother to stop her from crying, even though she believes her Fiance is right.

I don't either

Nope, I don't get it either

no. the op's fiance told the op's mom that her mom screwed her up.