Intimacy, Animals and Dogs: Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her...

By Anonymous - 25/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was engaged in intercourse with my fiancée when her dog decided take a loud dump in front of the fan that was pointed at us. Needless to say, intercourse ended very abruptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 012

You deserved it 349

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Same thing different taste

A load of hot air

By SkipBeatOtaku - 16/05/2020 20:00

Today, I was having hot sex with my boyfriend. Then, I felt a puff of air hit my face and a rancid smell. My dog had farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 707

Sorry little buddy

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 06:00

Today, during quite vigorous unprotected sex with my partner, I got a bit over-excited and on the pullout, my ejaculate shot from me, across my partner, and hit the dog who had decided to jump on the bed. My partner found it hilarious; I feel like I'm going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 573

By Puppy Loverr - 25/08/2011 07:12 - Australia

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 442

You deserved it 4 845

By GiveADogABone - 15/10/2015 22:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 056

You deserved it 3 517

By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 05:30 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 151

You deserved it 5 397

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 218

You deserved it 26 156

Communication

By GoneLimp - 07/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Havelock

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind". I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself, I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 951

You deserved it 1 647

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 160

You deserved it 5 702

What are you doing, human?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 02:00

Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 516

Still funny though

By Jeff - 29/04/2022 02:00

Today, my wife and I were getting intimate with for the first time in a while, as I haven't been home, when the foul stench of our dog's fart made us gag. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 209

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 14 August 2018 2:36

People really don't seem to care when their pets are in the same room as them while they're having sex, yet stories like this, and one I remember reading about a guy who was attacked by his girlfriend's cat, leaving his junk looking like Freddy Krueger gave him a hand job, aren't enough of a deterrent for people to shut their pets out of the room for 5 minutes.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 August 2018 6:44

The shit hit the fan!

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 14 August 2018 2:36

MissMizery 19

Saturday 25 August 2018 6:11

... Only 5 minutes?? Lol Nah but the whining at the door kills the mood before anything even starts imo.

real life problems 26

Saturday 25 August 2018 6:52

If you know how to train a dog it wont whine at the door. Mine would walk away at a finger snap and go lay on the couch.

Mungolikecandy 19

Saturday 25 August 2018 8:18

5 minutes what a lucky lady.

aruden 25

Saturday 25 August 2018 10:03

I'm assuming 4.5 of those minutes are for cleanup.

Zekfen 17

Saturday 25 August 2018 16:56

My wife refuses to keep the dogs out of the room or the bed. The whining and barking kills the mood for her and she can’t concentrate. Luckily our current dog has no interest in being in the room and if we start he leaves. Funny story to that though, our previous dog once stuck her cold wet nose in my bum to get a sniff mid thrust. Talk about a mood killer.