By Anonymous - 23/04/2014 02:46 - United States

Today, I finished building a porch I've worked hard on for the past 2 weeks, and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minutes of it being completed, my pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 215
You deserved it 5 516

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I would feel sorry for you but now you have puppies in your life so I can't.

Good thing you know how to build a great porch! Luckily you didn't have to pay to get it fixed!


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ninjuh_wingman 29

#23-I love how you called 1's comment idiotic when you used "your" instead of "you're" and you spelled "idiotic" as "idotic".

23- So needlessly bitchy. And hypocritical, obviously- you couldn't even wait long enough to proofread your "idotic," catty comment before you posted it.

#23 deserves FML's non existent most hated comment badge. Congrats ^__^

BradTheBrony 19

27- it was supposed to be "your".... You silly "idot"

Id·i·ocy: "Extremely stupid behavior" "An idiotic statement or action" So. There's that.

I would feel sorry for you but now you have puppies in your life so I can't.

I hope he can afford them. Puppies aren't cheap!

oddities 20

Actually, puppies are pretty cheap. At least until about 2 months, it's when they get bigger they become expensive..

BradTheBrony 19

#6 I hope you can affordthat car, bugatti's aren't cheap

Good thing you know how to build a great porch! Luckily you didn't have to pay to get it fixed!

Why should you have to get to her and the puppies? The mother will take care of them. And I'm sure she can get in and out.

Honestly, if OP built a great porch, you would think they would have had the foresight to build in a way to get under the porch without having to take the whole thing apart. But that's just me.

ShannonBitt 29

#89 or she would've put something (like boards or lattice) to prevent anything from getting under the porch. Unless she was planning to, but hadn't done it yet.

You have a point, but when I build a porch (Combat engineer 1371) I build it to last. Not to have an easy access. The OP however (knowing she had a dog) probably should of thought about putting in a lattice... But hey! People make mistakes and learn from them and there is more than one way to build a great functioning porch! :D

Kevlar_burrito 6

because the mos number is totally must have just enlisted

Yep. He's a 19yo reservist. Ask a 15 year vet what their mos number is and they'll ask you why you give a shit.

Should probably board the skirts up before she crawls under there for the next reason.

hopefully the dogs are ok and. now your expert level deck builder.

screamtobeheard 12

spay and neuter your pets. :) but for now, enjoy all of the cuteness and your new porch!

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Comet_Candy 23

But then we'd have a continuous cycle of overpopulation. There are plenty of cute older dogs out there! And even if they're not so cute, dogs are wonderful companions...

simplysarcastics 26

I think it works out fine, I mean some spay or neuter, some put their animals away from other dogs when they are in heat or have gates to prevent other dogs from breeding. Either way overpopulation can't really be stopped, there are dogs and cats out there that parents can't afford it, or just don't won't to do it because of beliefs/opinions or in some cases want to breed once and then nueter. I don't believe in over breeding but if we keep the cycles of dog species going its a good thing not bad, and its normal for a pregnant dog to hide away, my dog who had one litter her whole life; hid under our barn to birth, daddy had to saw the barn from inside to get her and babies out

Comet_Candy 23

There are free spaying/neutering clinics out there... I believe it's highly irresponsible to not do so. I've worked at many shelters and there are tons of animals out there already. Why create more when most of them will end up being put down when nobody wants to adopt them? It's not like there's any danger of a shortage of animals...

Comet_Candy 23

To add on to my previous post... A lot of those animals that end up in shelters are the offspring of beloved family pets. It's a continuous problem, and even if it can never be truly fixed, it's important that people at least TRY to contribute to a solution. Raise awareness, donate to a trustworthy organisation, volunteer at an animal shelter, or even better: adopt an animal and give them the home they need. Anything helps!

PresidentNorth 16

People try everyday #41. Just because you live in one city that I guess a lot of animals end up at doesn't mean that people aren't doing the right thing anywhere else. People are always trying to make things known. But people also have the same choice to ignore and not do anything. Just how it is.

There are also some people that have to wait to neuter, like me. When I got my German Wirehaired Pointer, the agreement with our breeder was to wait two years before we could neuter Homer, but after that two years we decided that even though he had amazing bloodlines and his hips were good, we didn't think puppies would be a good idea, so he got neutered about a week later. Lots of people don't believe in it, either, and you're never going to be able to change that. I personally have in fact talked to people about it, explaining the whole thing to them, because I've observed the procedures many times now. And even after hearing that there's nothing to worry about, they still don't want to. And that's their choice.

51, I've worked in shelters too and I've seen crowded cages in the hallways because there were just too many cats. Clearly not enough people are trying to do the right thing by spaying/neutering their pets.

Precisely why I got my cat from a local shelter. Adopting a pet it one of the beat things I've done in my short, 17 year-old life.

One of my cats was an adult when I got him from the shelter. Big, fat loudmouth. It was love at first sight and he's just a fat, fluffy snugglebug. I wish my (now ex) boyfriend would've agreed on a shelter dog, but I try to look at it like I saved a dog from going to a shelter or worse. Craigslist puppy, downvotes commence.

56 that's a stupid argument. YOU bought the dog. YOU could neuter it when you wanted to.

Spay and neutering your pets is a very good idea. The shelter in my town includes that free in your purchase of one of their animals. They are so overfilled with cats and dogs. Specially when they are a certain kind of breed, or age, People don't want them. People need to adopt older dogs, sick ones, missing leg, etc. Not just puppies. You never know, they can be the sweetest dog ever (same with cats). We don't need to keep continuously having them breed because they always will be somewhere.

Razi_tail 25

There will NEVER be a time when every cat and dog on this entire planet is fixed. I hate it when people say that because dogs and cats are not endangered. There is a massive surplus of pets right now and just fixing one pair of dogs will stop the possibility of over three hundred offspring within three years time.

You can't tell someone it is highly irresponsible to spay their own pet! My cairn terrier had a litter of puppies and they all went to responsible and loving homes, the owners every now and then will send updates or pictures of them and they are all now very healthy, well looked after dogs. they were all told that if they had any problems or couldn't keep the puppies to bring them back to me and I would keep them. The only reason I spayed my terrier was because she developed milk fever. Not everyone is an irresponsible dog owner and you know nothing about the OP. My family and I regularly adopt rescue dogs, in fact my cairn terrier was rescued, I found her running along a busy road in the winter and she went unclaimed when I tried to find her owners. Responsible pet owners are under no obligation to spay their pets!

Correction- You can't tell someone it is highly irresponsible to not spay their own pet!

giantsfan2010 23

I was wondering too. The fml isn't very clear, so I personally went over to ask OP myself. OP told me the dog crawled under! Duh, I doubled checked the fml and it clearly stated the dog crawled! Wow

giantsfan2010 23

Well if the porch was finished as op stated, the dog shouldn't have been able to get in. Then again I don't have any dogs or a porch so maybe I don't know what what I'm talking about

Some porches are raised off the ground just a little bit. I'm guessing there was just enough space for the dog to squeeze under, but not enough for OP to get her back out.

epicfury26 13

The dog crawled under the porch my dog will sometimes crawl under it for shade if its a hot day and she's outside

I thought it would be easier for her to get out once she had her puppies and not the other way around.

Some porches have an opening, just depends on the style or way it was built. Our dogs can get under.

Maybe you should make sure your dog can't fit underneath your porch when you go to fix it again. But congrats to you and your dog on the puppies!

If the dog crawled under after it was complete then she would have been able to crawl out too. Js

oddities 20

I don't know about you, but I've never seen or head of anyone, of any species, doing something that required that much physical exertion after giving birth. Let alone the newborns that would also need to get out. It just doesn't work like that.

Sporkitude 12

It's entirely possible the dog was exhausted from delivery and therefore unable to remove herself, and it's also not good to leave puppies outdoors like that. Depending on where OP lives, the puppies could easily freeze to death, and it's not like mama dog's gonna bring her puppies out for her human after she went through the trouble of having her litter there. In short, OP was perfectly justified in going in after them by any means necessary.

simplysarcastics 26

Not exactly, dogs are far different than people. Dogs want to be alone and under confined /safe places before giving birth, and if its her first time delivering it can be even more stressful on her. She will be defensive and want privacy. My dog did the same thing except under our barn, even if she can get out, she can't carry her pups out.

#18 you've obviously never had puppies. The momma will pick them up and move them one by one. All they need to do is let her. I had a cat who have birth outside and moved those babies three times in a week. Day old kittens need to be eating, not moved. They can't regulate their body temperature so they have to stay close to momma. Dogs have been taking care of babies unassisted for centuries. A few days under a porch before momma was strong enough to move them (and so the annoying humans wouldn't constantly be trying to pick up her babies) might have been good. If she chose the spot, she chose it for a reason, probably because the humans couldn't disturb her.

Sporkitude 12

#73, you're right, I've never had puppies (insert lame joke about it being biologically impossible for me). But even if the weather isn't a problem, it's entirely possible that wildlife would be a problem for the pups. #36 has a point, too - maybe the dog's a first-time mother and doesn't know what to do. Instinct can only do so much and plenty of first litters don't make it due to inexperience. Not saying the puppies would have necessarily died, but bringing them indoors definitely helps their odds.

#83 I said you've never had, as in possessed, puppies. I didn't say birthed. A semantics argument is juvenile. Her instincts were fine. She found a quiet spot, birthed them, licked them clean, and in a few hours would have moved them because of all the noise from the foot traffic on the porch. When humans get involved is when animals start getting pissed. I've dealt with hundreds of litters. Letting momma do her thing is generally the best thing to do. I wouldn't have moved them (and certainly wouldn't have disassembled a porch around them) for at least a few hours and only if mom was showing signs of distress. They need to have that time to eat and momma is sore and needs to rest. Making Mom move only slows the initial milk production and compromises their body temperature because she has to spend time making a new nest. But hey. Backyard breeders obviously know more than vets. What with all the irresponsible breeding they do.

#17 Someone who is a reputable breeder and not a BYB knows that dogs, unlike humans, eat the placenta and byproducts which gives them the added hormones and energy to care for the puppies, ie move them, hunt for food, etc. Humans are the only animals that don't eat their placenta (we don't need to ward off predators) and the only animals that suffer from hormone imbalances, post partum issues, etc. A lot of people here need to do some research because they seem to think dogs couldn't possibly have birthed before humans came along. And in a lot of cases of inbred and overbred lines of dogs where the puppies are bigger than the mothers hips allow for (80% of purebred bulldogs are born by cesarean. Think about all that unnecessary surgery next time you buy one of them), that's true. But if this were one of those breeds, the dog would have vocalized distress. We also like to think the owner's vet would have mentioned it, if he/she even has a vet. But in cases of cesarean, humans need to help because HUMANS created the problem of the unnatural breed standard.