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By dumbass! - 03/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my daughter’s stupid ass boyfriend tried to get “internet famous” by having her record videos of him handing $20 to random homeless people. What he wasn’t counting on was one of them kicking the ever loving shit outta both of them, snatching the money, and running off. Her nose is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 274

By Anonymous - 23/09/2013 06:15 - United States - San Diego

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 094

You deserved it 3 451

Classic canine move

By Anonymous - 24/08/2020 04:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 320

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 014

You deserved it 3 151

By Chan - 23/01/2010 03:16 - United States

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 114

You deserved it 40 595

Tis the season…

By naomi3271 - 29/11/2021 10:59 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I went early Xmas shopping for my daughter and almost spent my whole paycheck for the week on her, only to have some asshole grab my bag and run off, stealing all her gifts, all in front of a security guard and store employee, who did nothing to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 148

By Applelover012 - 08/07/2009 04:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 533

You deserved it 8 479

Do better

By jordan - 10/11/2021 13:59

Today, after going to my friend's house for the first time and seeing how their parents treat them, I realized that I’ve never once experienced parental love in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 388

You deserved it 95

Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 00:00

Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 665

You deserved it 184

By JCruz411 - 21/01/2010 13:10 - France

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 056

You deserved it 32 841

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 850

You deserved it 602

High hopes

By fml - 05/01/2015 03:10 - United States

Today, these cute girls approached me and asked me to take a picture of them. One girl asked me if I could send it to her because her phone had died. I was excited to have her number, but it turns out that she deleted the message after she sent the picture to herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 296

You deserved it 7 679

By Anonymous - 15/11/2011 10:50 - United States

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 731

You deserved it 7 724

By T4K3R5 - 06/07/2009 08:11 - United States

Today, my sister got her car repossessed. In order to get it back, my mom took $4,000.00 out of my bank account promising she would pay it back within a few months. She lost her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 4 044

T4K3R5 tells us more.

T4K3R5 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 2:37

Okay im just going to say this now so everyone will get this. I have my OWN bank account that no one has access too accept me. I opened it when i was like 16 and got my first job. I saved the $4000 in a separate account that was in my moms name before i was 16, which i got just from mowing lawns and stuff. So Everyone stop saying "Well your dumb, that's your fault for letting your mom have access to your account". Also im not going to get into details, but it wasn't really my sisters fault, so i don't blame her. My sister and my mom have helped me out with a lot of things too.

By NYCguy - 20/01/2010 03:59 - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 746

You deserved it 15 797

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 01:07 - United States - Bend

Today, on my first ski run down a mountain, I dislocated my patella. Now I get to watch out of the window as my family builds a snowman and names it after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 441

You deserved it 2 498

By Anonymous - 12/09/2013 22:27 - Sweden - Vällingby

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 175

You deserved it 57 700

By Detroitman125 - 30/10/2018 17:30

Today, my name was left off of the program at our band concert. I would have been fine with this if it wasn't the third time in a row that this has happened. Yes, I did show them each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 835

You deserved it 152

What's this?

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 163

You deserved it 7 113

Not now, mom

By A-train - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, it was supposed to be my wedding day. This is the second time we've had to postpone it. The first was due to COVID, this time the sudden passing of my fiance's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:28 - United States

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 501

You deserved it 79 911

By CatLitterLover - 08/02/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 247

You deserved it 15 650

By bern5555 - 13/01/2010 05:29 - United States

Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 538

You deserved it 3 280

So romantic

By Upbrakie - 12/01/2010 13:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend, and I told her that I loved her. She asked me how much windshield wiper blades cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 711

You deserved it 3 386

By Anonymous - 27/06/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I found out that a co-worker of mine that I had originally hired, trained, and mentored to work in my department for the past 4 years had just got the promotion that I had applied for. He is now my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 982

You deserved it 5 437

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 05:14 - United States - Asheboro

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 209

You deserved it 7 488

By dontrapeme - 26/09/2012 10:30 - United States

Today, while at the gym, a very large man walked over to me and said, "I like wearing all orange to the gym." Not wanting to be rude, I asked why. He looks me up and down and said, "It reminds me of prison." I think I'm going to be jumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 959

You deserved it 1 947

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 5 515

Kids say the darndest things

By Anonymous - 30/09/2020 02:02

Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 1 122

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 04:40 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 890

You deserved it 3 561

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Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 460

You deserved it 2 828

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 459

You deserved it 6 549

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 227

You deserved it 2 426

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 914

You deserved it 10 640

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 743

You deserved it 766

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 91