Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, I was working at the theater as an usher. A man came up to me and gave me his ticket. At the same time, he took a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML
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Top comments
StopDropNRoll 11
What in the world is a tea-cosy?
SadinSherman 16
RIP Dobby
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Comments (92)
chrismacin 0
how is this fyl
StopDropNRoll 11
What in the world is a tea-cosy?
iknowimawesome 13
It's this cloth thing you put around a mug when it's hot. At least I think that's what it is...
unluckiestperson_fml 14
It's something you put on a teapot when it's too hot to touch.
DoubleRainbows 1
i'm curious how your review is gonna sound like.
pertained 12
Its pretty British. This little hat like thing you put on teapots but then, I think most Americans don't actually have teapots.
Complaining 13
I only know what a tea cozy (or is it cosy…?) is thanks to Dobby. XD
SadinSherman 16
RIP Dobby
CattyPurry 0
I would have poured my drink on him, slapped his face with my chicken tenders or just simply moved to another seat.
tatababe 1
Well.. OP did you do it
Carebear423 0
Was anyone else amused when they saw that #4 was from the FML team? Or is it just me?
PopRocks14 0
Well, YDI for not doing it!! *waits for idiots to think im serious*
joooeee 3
34, just you. Everyone else already knew that
Aim4thebullseye 4
He had the tea-cosy on his head because he was too hot to touch.
VeroAnne 11
And you just sat there and took it? I would have done something about it.
gmc_blossom 21
Darn, someone already mentioned Dobby. -_-
Jacobt24 19
Maybe that guy works for Nike
StopDropNRoll 11
Two fml team post on my status. I was just wondering what a tea cosy was. Now I know.
AmethystRain 20
Movie theaters sell chicken tenders? Damn, ours only have overpriced popcorn and nachos. :(
ryanst 7
Hmm putting "FML team" on your profile ruins the surprise for trolls when they say "Oh yeah, Sirin? What can you do about it, it's not like you're a moderator or anything." Although it does let me know who I shouldn't piss off..
Skroal_stomper 5
23 : (
T1A2Z3 34
A tea cosy goes on a tea pot to keep the tea warm. It looks kinda like a hat
Justforlolz 14
You probably should have did it...
hiyourcute 0
You probably should have did your English homework...
AaronTkr 0
maybe the guy sitting behind OP was taking it in the ass.
Jvr91 8
Just do it....Nike
iheartbewbies 0
Well if he kept on asking you to do it, why the **** wouldn't you!
gunmania0 12
You should've done it.
Fx13mz 7
He wants you to review that movie HARD.
regsworld11 2
I wonder what he wanted you to do?!
iknowimawesome 13
Did you finally end up doing it?
CrAzYyEt 8
So.... Do it.
NomadicFlo 4
This man's face should be printed alongside the 'Just do it' slogan on Nike shirts