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By kdeeeceee - 05/11/2011 07:25 - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 415

You deserved it 50 114

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 10:29 - France - Paris

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 155

You deserved it 10 660

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 19:41 - United States

Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 275

You deserved it 4 365

By BeforeItWasCool - 30/09/2012 09:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 502

You deserved it 27 259

BeforeItWasCool tells us more.

BeforeItWasCool 12

Sunday 30 September 2012 22:01

Wow this seems to have been misinterpreted! It was unplanned, I was entirely surprised by it. We hadn't planned on kids- if it had been positive it would have been an accident. I was just quite happy to have such a nice surprise even if it did turn out to be negative. I was quite disappointed it was negative, not because I've been secretly trying to get pregnant, but because I was pleasantly surprised. It just seems my fiancé was a little too enthusiastic about the negative result.

By meow - 14/01/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 788

You deserved it 4 499

By moodyreallyrocks - 01/11/2011 16:18 - United States

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 281

You deserved it 2 883

Kids these days…

By jenabp - 03/01/2011 18:56 - United States

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year-old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 861

You deserved it 4 695

By Anonymous - 02/01/2011 21:15 - United States

Today, my husband was kind enough to hold my hair back while I was going down on him, but didn't have the thought to comfort me this morning while I suffered the effects of morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 478

You deserved it 5 576

By Colormered - 12/01/2010 15:08 - France

Today, I spent all day organizing a list of electronic parts for my boss. I found the easiest way was to color problem parts in the spreadsheet red and okay parts green. After I finished at the end of the day, I found out my boss is red-green colorblind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 413

You deserved it 3 586

Hawkeye

By hatesurf - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Peru

Today, I was surfing. I saw a cop writing a ticket for my car, I swam as fast as I could to stop him, I got caught in a wave, and smashed onto the rocks. I ended up with a huge bleeding scratch on my back, a broken surfboard, and a note saying that I had a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 104

You deserved it 10 182

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/09/2013 05:06 - United States - El Paso

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 742

You deserved it 5 806

Dreams burn down

By anonymous - 27/10/2009 13:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three-hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 650

You deserved it 7 330

By nail714 - 25/06/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, while at football practice, my teammates and I were on water break. At the bus barn next to the field, a good-looking girl was washing a bus. Some of the guys started to yell pick-up lines at her from 50 yards away, and pretty soon I chime in. She turns around. It was my younger sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 207

You deserved it 73 595

By ahhahaha - 12/08/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 993

You deserved it 4 702

The next generation

By Rosemary’s Vlogger - 07/01/2022 20:01

Today, my son announced he wants to be a YouTuber, and wants to make videos of himself doing violent things to pregnant women. He’s 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 372

By lanikai610 - 26/10/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks VapoRub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 404

You deserved it 7 619

Excuses excuses

By SharpeOne - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 221

You deserved it 2 663

By Slash - 16/06/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 660

You deserved it 48 887

By unfortunateMother - 18/09/2012 19:51 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 220

You deserved it 4 028

By ihatedogs - 22/06/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, my brother came down to my house, bringing his untrained puppies with him. As we were eating dinner, I dropped part of my sandwich in a liquid that was on the tablecloth. Thinking it was water, I ate it. As I chewed, I realized the liquid wasn't water. My sandwich was dipped in dog urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 909

You deserved it 19 922

Do not want

By Anonymous - 08/10/2020 08:01 - Europe

Today, I had a chat with a one-night stand and she's decided to keep the child. My life is basically over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 2 738

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 200

You deserved it 4 027

Who the **** are you?

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 05:23 - Canada

Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 202

You deserved it 7 610

By lonely one - 14/09/2012 10:17 - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 719

You deserved it 2 026

Disney dreams

By onthetoilet - 04/01/2010 22:20 - France

Today, I was supposed to go to Disneyland with my family, but I woke up with explosive diarrhea. So while they are at the happiest place on Earth, I'm stuck on this toilet left to imagine that the splash from my crap is a splash from Splash Mountain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 3 328

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 047

You deserved it 3 144

By MySistersDogisStupid - 13/01/2017 22:00

Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 871

You deserved it 795

By caterinette - 27/11/2014 02:04 - Portugal

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 180

You deserved it 2 252

By Dummas - 15/01/2017 12:00

Today, I sent out an email asking people to contact me if they were not on our group's email list yet so that I could add them. I sent it out to the group list. They were quite amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 650

You deserved it 6 137

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 13:30

Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 190

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 261

Today, at work, a midget came in to buy beer. Not only was he almost as tall as me, he got offended when I had to card him and explain that the manager told me to card everyone, and that it wasn't because he was short. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 423

You deserved it 3 283

Today, my dad drove me to work which is an hour away. Twenty minutes into the job, I was told, "Didn't we tell you last week? We let you go." Clearly, no, they didn't. I had to wait one awkward hour, with my colleagues who knew I was fired before I did, for my dad to collect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 475

You deserved it 2 421

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 782

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 125

You deserved it 8 676

Here's the first FML Video created by Louis, who will creating many more in the weeks (months, years...) to come!

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 103