By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 05:38 - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 196
You deserved it 3 868
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Top comments

greeneyesFTWlol 8

My booty just tightened up from reading this.

99 3
fsomelife 26

I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.

47 1

Comments

laughmaster 9

FYL OP, maybe you can try to find out what exactly irritates your allergies and try to avoid it the most

28 10
Jac_d_ipper 10

Mayb those cactuses that are up the OP's arse are causing the allergy/sneezes lol.

6 12
phoneYuNOlisten 16

If they're allergies from outside you can't run away from them. I know the feel OP.

1 3
greeneyesFTWlol 8

My booty just tightened up from reading this.

99 3
Ambient25 24

No what you read was a "Casting Couch" ad...

2 26
fsomelife 26

How has nobody commented calling you a tightass yet??

25 0
fsomelife 26

I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.

47 1
Ambient25 24

At least you didn't have Indian food as well. You'd probably be having gut wrenching ass explosions that made you feel like you were ******** fire.

41 3
challan 19

A slushie might help with that.

10 0
perdix 29

#25, it might, but when I go to 7-Eleven and ask for one in suppository form, they kick me out of the store.

20 1
xALEXx_fml 15

I feel for you! Well...not that feeling..but yes, sorry OP!! FYL!!

9 2
fsomelife 26

You seem to have really gotten into it...

9 2
gc327072 30

If you need to gouge your eyes out Oedipus-style, I have a rusty spoon you can borrow.

6 1
chronosphere 18

how do you know how it feels like shoving a cactus up your ass?

8 19
Ambient25 24

For #11 Definition of METAPHOR : a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money); broadly : figurative language — compare simile.

24 9
chronosphere 18

dude you have no sense of humor and never get a joke!!! get a life

5 29
Ambient25 24

Right because that was a joke. Back to back jokes with you and #14!

19 4
perdix 29

#13, heh-heh, you said ANALogy ;)

23 2
zen1979 16

For 13; for the record op said it feels LIKE having a cactus shoved up their arse, which would make this a similie (spelled wrong?) not a metaphor.

0 3
zen1979 16

* simile; a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, identifiable by the use if the words 'like' or 'as'. Compare metaphor.

0 3
dinosxxrawr 22

knowing hot it feels to have a cactus shoved up your ass might also be a problem.

9 14
Ambient25 24

This is why my desk is imprinted with an outline of my head....

25 5
moonwing 17

They make cream and wipes for hemorrhoids. Maybe if you use both of those, it'll help with that "cactus being shoved up your ass" feeling. I'm not saving its the best stuff, and idk if it'll even work, but it's worth a try! Good luck, OP!!

4 5
fsomelife 26

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the abridged version of this FML.

4 14
alycion 38

What's the matter 21, didn't you use cliff notes while in school?

3 1