Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
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By
greeneyesFTWlol
| 8
My booty just tightened up from reading this.
By
fsomelife
| 26
I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.
COMMENTS
By
laughmaster
| 9
FYL OP, maybe you can try to find out what exactly irritates your allergies and try to avoid it the most
Reply
Jac_d_ipper
| 10
Mayb those cactuses that are up the OP's arse are causing the allergy/sneezes lol.
Reply
phoneYuNOlisten
| 16
If they're allergies from outside you can't run away from them. I know the feel OP.
By
greeneyesFTWlol
| 8
My booty just tightened up from reading this.
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
No what you read was a "Casting Couch" ad...
Reply
fsomelife
| 26
How has nobody commented calling you a tightass yet??
Reply
Kauphy
| 12
Tightass.
By
fsomelife
| 26
I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.
By
Ambient25
| 24
At least you didn't have Indian food as well. You'd probably be having gut wrenching ass explosions that made you feel like you were shitting fire.
Reply
fsomelife
| 26
There's an image...
Reply
challan
| 19
A slushie might help with that.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#25, it might, but when I go to 7-Eleven and ask for one in suppository form, they kick me out of the store.
By
Kruitdamp
| 44
Ouch dat must be painful!
Reply
allie2590
| 30
No, having a cactus up your ass feels good.
Reply
Ambiguous404
| 6
Yeah some people might have a cactus fetish you know
By
xALEXx_fml
| 15
I feel for you! Well...not that feeling..but yes, sorry OP!! FYL!!
By
pattayarick
| 8
TMI, TMI, aaaagggghhhhh TMI
Reply
fsomelife
| 26
You seem to have really gotten into it...
Reply
gc327072
| 29
If you need to gouge your eyes out Oedipus-style, I have a rusty spoon you can borrow.
By
chronosphere
| 18
how do you know how it feels like shoving a cactus up your ass?
Reply
fsomelife
| 26
Why do you think he has allergies?
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
For #11
Definition of METAPHOR
: a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money); broadly : figurative language — compare simile.
Definition of METAPHOR
: a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money); broadly : figurative language — compare simile.
Reply
chronosphere
| 18
dude you have no sense of humor and never get a joke!!! get a life
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Right because that was a joke. Back to back jokes with you and #14!
Reply
fsomelife
| 26
Ass to ass, even.
Reply
perdix
| 29
#13, heh-heh, you said ANALogy ;)
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
Lol very nice Perdix ;)
Reply
zen1979
| 16
For 13; for the record op said it feels LIKE having a cactus shoved up their arse, which would make this a similie (spelled wrong?) not a metaphor.
Reply
zen1979
| 16
* simile; a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, identifiable by the use if the words 'like' or 'as'. Compare metaphor.
By
dinosxxrawr
| 22
knowing hot it feels to have a cactus shoved up your ass might also be a problem.
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
This is why my desk is imprinted with an outline of my head....
By
moonwing
| 17
They make cream and wipes for hemorrhoids. Maybe if you use both of those, it'll help with that "cactus being shoved up your ass" feeling. I'm not saving its the best stuff, and idk if it'll even work, but it's worth a try! Good luck, OP!!