By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 05:38 - United States - Livingston

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 133
You deserved it 3 850

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My booty just tightened up from reading this.

I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.

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FYL OP, maybe you can try to find out what exactly irritates your allergies and try to avoid it the most

Mayb those cactuses that are up the OP's arse are causing the allergy/sneezes lol.

If they're allergies from outside you can't run away from them. I know the feel OP.

My booty just tightened up from reading this.

No what you read was a "Casting Couch" ad...

How has nobody commented calling you a tightass yet??

I guess either your nose regrets what your ass does, or your ass regrets what your nose does.

At least you didn't have Indian food as well. You'd probably be having gut wrenching ass explosions that made you feel like you were shitting fire.

There's an image...

A slushie might help with that.

#25, it might, but when I go to 7-Eleven and ask for one in suppository form, they kick me out of the store.

I feel for you! Well...not that feeling..but yes, sorry OP!! FYL!!

TMI, TMI, aaaagggghhhhh TMI

You seem to have really gotten into it...

If you need to gouge your eyes out Oedipus-style, I have a rusty spoon you can borrow.

how do you know how it feels like shoving a cactus up your ass?

Why do you think he has allergies?

For #11 Definition of METAPHOR : a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (as in drowning in money); broadly : figurative language — compare simile.

dude you have no sense of humor and never get a joke!!! get a life

Right because that was a joke. Back to back jokes with you and #14!

Ass to ass, even.

#13, heh-heh, you said ANALogy ;)

Lol very nice Perdix ;)

For 13; for the record op said it feels LIKE having a cactus shoved up their arse, which would make this a similie (spelled wrong?) not a metaphor.

* simile; a figure of speech in which two unlike things are explicitly compared, identifiable by the use if the words 'like' or 'as'. Compare metaphor.

knowing hot it feels to have a cactus shoved up your ass might also be a problem.

This is why my desk is imprinted with an outline of my head....

They make cream and wipes for hemorrhoids. Maybe if you use both of those, it'll help with that "cactus being shoved up your ass" feeling. I'm not saving its the best stuff, and idk if it'll even work, but it's worth a try! Good luck, OP!!

That's a pain in the ass.

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you the abridged version of this FML.

What's the matter 21, didn't you use cliff notes while in school?

Yes, yes I did.