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By lonely one - 14/09/2012 10:17 - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 2 027

Naked

By audied - 04/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Today, I noticed the woman I've been sleeping with for over two years never lets me see her naked during sex. I confronted her about it and she replied, "I don't care if you see me naked. I was just leaving the lights off the whole time so I don't have to see you naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 426

You deserved it 4 663

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 055

You deserved it 3 148

By MySistersDogisStupid - 13/01/2017 22:00

Today, I took mine and my sister's dog for a walk in the park near my house. The dog managed to find a large piece of rotting, frozen meat buried in the snow and tried to eat it. I had to pry it from his mouth and can't get the smell out of my gloves and coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 875

You deserved it 797

By Dummas - 15/01/2017 12:00

Today, I sent out an email asking people to contact me if they were not on our group's email list yet so that I could add them. I sent it out to the group list. They were quite amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 650

You deserved it 6 141

By momma - 16/08/2013 15:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while getting ready to welcome my first child into the world, my father in law decided to "help out" and threw out a bunch of papers I needed. Like my child's application for a health card, social insurance number, and my birth plan, as well as instructions from my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 052

You deserved it 3 727

By Singleton - 02/01/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 178

You deserved it 2 861

By Duchess - 20/01/2017 12:00

Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 540

You deserved it 726

By scumbag i guess - 08/09/2012 00:26 - United States - El Paso

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 897

You deserved it 53 558

By SummerJob - 06/09/2012 16:51

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 055

You deserved it 4 784

By Missyangel - 31/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my 7 year-old looked at me and stated, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 393

You deserved it 11 467

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 528

You deserved it 6 603

**** the patriarchy

By single not ready to mingle - 28/10/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend told me that we could keep dating, but he doesn’t see a future with me because I’m not a good submissive woman like his mother. His mother who’s been married four times for cheating on all her husbands. Yeah, good woman indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 151

Puddle Jumper

By FML Videos - 29/11/2018 00:30 - United States - New York

Close but no cigar!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 67

By MsConfusedd - 01/09/2012 04:30 - United States - Hazlet

Today, I learned that my 76 year-old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 2 038

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 036

You deserved it 4 077

Inked

By Kat - 31/08/2012 01:08 - United States - Tiverton

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 5 944

By Anonymous - 29/01/2017 20:00 - United States

Today, a few people in my class used calculators on the math final exam, even though it clearly stated at the top that they weren't allowed. The teacher found out, and now everyone has to retake the 200-question exam. I didn't even use a calculator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 770

You deserved it 504

By Anonymous - 27/12/2009 03:09 - Canada

Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 522

You deserved it 71 457

By TayRenee - 30/01/2017 20:00 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, while in an ambulance after being in a car wreck, the EMT told me I would need to sign some electronic paperwork. He held it above my head for me to sign and promptly dropped it on my my face, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 604

You deserved it 483

By khaelian - 08/12/2010 11:47

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 287

You deserved it 17 935

By cjhgvb - 06/11/2014 00:48 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I found out it is possible to get whiplash and a concussion from a tickle fight you have with your boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 383

You deserved it 4 243

There's no helping some people

By Anonymous - 11/11/2020 02:02 - United States - Livingston

Today, I was helping a 93 year-old hoarder organize her home. She asked me to make ropes from old plastic bags, fold bags in a specific odd way, then fit four large boxes of bags into one smaller one. I said I couldn't do those, nor fit four boxes in one. "Why are you here if you can’t do things?" she said. I’m a professional home organizer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 331

Roommates from hell

By ugh - 30/09/2011 19:45 - United States

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 469

You deserved it 3 518

By boobear511 - 03/11/2014 00:26 - United States - Rancho Cordova

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 064

You deserved it 4 740

boobear511 tells us more.

boobear511 15

Monday 3 November 2014 17:08

The cat was outside the door, wanting to get in.

Overreacting much?

By But you drink alcohol though - 19/04/2023 03:00

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 736

Like a virgin

By JustSomeGuy - 30/07/2013 03:43 - United States - Bulverde

Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 142

You deserved it 9 629

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed his desire to have sex while I'm on my period. He calls it "bloody victory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 362

You deserved it 5 933

By the un-loved child - 28/07/2013 22:34 - United States - Salida

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 720

You deserved it 3 981

By ThisGirl - 21/08/2012 02:30 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 321

You deserved it 16 482

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The Top

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 400

You deserved it 3 507

Today, a male co-worker asked me in what shape I shave my pubic hair. Jokingly, I replied that I have a very nicely trimmed dodecahedron. Now he's telling everyone at work that I have a venereal disease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 172

You deserved it 6 587

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 422

You deserved it 2 507

Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 343

You deserved it 34 855

Today, Covid started when I was a freshmen in highschool. I'm now halfway through my Junior year and I still haven't experienced any normal high school events or traditions. I'm going to graduate without experiencing anything. Now we have a new variant… again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 195

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was ruined when my brother was too cheap to iTunes the song I wanted playing, so he YouTubed it instead. It’s very difficult to propose while speakers are blasting an unskippable 30-second advert about formula being a healthy alternative to breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 596