Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML
Today, I'm struggling with my mental and emotional health, as well as my marriage. Our 25 year-old daughter, who is failing at adulting, wants to move back in after only being gone for slightly over a year. I love my child, but she's a nightmare to live with. I'm gonna run away from home. FML
Today, I surprised my daughter by telling her that I'm going to treat the family to a trip to the Himalayas in a few months. She promptly threw a tantrum and listed her main reasons for not wanting us to go: "It's a freaking desert there," and, "I'll miss the new Spiderman movie." FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML
Today, my eldest son keeps threatening to run away, and I found out that his sister is encouraging him, because she recently found out what ”inheritance” means, and thinks she’ll get more if he’s gone, or at the very least she can have his bigger bedroom and all his cool stuff. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, my 14 year-old daughter threw a massive fit over showering. She dislodged the shower curtain rod and threatened to beat us with it if we ever force her to shower again. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
How the F do you people live down there? Come up to Northern AZ where nothing lives. We've got trees, ravens, prairie dogs and elk, and that's about it. And very few people.
ojoRojo 27
Can’t say I blame her
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
How the F do you people live down there? Come up to Northern AZ where nothing lives. We've got trees, ravens, prairie dogs and elk, and that's about it. And very few people.
Talented73 54
No scorpions by you?
ojoRojo 27
Can’t say I blame her
Sara Niemantsverdriet 12
Bitch, please. Tell her to move to Australia. The whole country is like that.
xxlk4xx 6
yeah I don't blame her lol.. I live in Canada and in my area we don't even have bears, nothing to kill us here lol.
kfchicken 31
the bitter cold isn't much better