Siri knows a lot of good places to hide a dead body.

How about TWO?

Ha, best comment ^^

I thought everyone in Canada was nice?

Nah, that's just a front. On a side note, have you never wondered what gave Canadian Bacon its Oomph?

I wouldn't call it a front. We're genuinely nice people (most of us anyway) but we have limitations to our tolerance for bullshit. Yes, we do sometimes go ape-shit crazy. Having said that, our "crazy" is considered normal first response in some places south of the 49th parallel, at least according to what I've seen on FML.

Even though each question is recorded...

Siri is a smartass that can't be trusted these days.

On an aside, remember when Google Maps used to tell you to swim across the Atlantic if you asked for directions to anywhere overseas? Cheeky, but maybe it was just trying to promote physical fitness? **Please, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm a pretty nonsensical person.

#44 not nice enough to share husbands

I wouldn't even call her a best friend

No, no; Tumblr is better at body disposal.

I definitely just asked Siri to validate this

What'd it say?

I loved when google maps said to jet ski

It once told me to canoe across the Pacific Ocean...

YDI. I'm sure you found them having slutty sex in the coat room on your wedding day 12 years ago.

Dont you mean your dead husband and dead best friend

Agreed!

Cue theme music from Law and Order: SVU!

Boom, amen

your fault? wow that's low. it'll be over as soon as the divorce goes through

Of course it's her fault, how dare she not only discover, but also interfere in their relationship. You just can't have a good affair these days without someone finding out and ruining it. It's terrible!

On a serious note, I do feel bad for the OP, I know how it feels to have lying and cheating friends and I can only imagine how much worse this is.

I think everyone can empathize with OP on some level. Sadly, honest to heart people are rare these days.

Yeah OP! Why did you have to discover their relationship?!

Like, totally. I mean, it is like Schrödinger's cat. OP opened the box to find the cat dead and it is totally not the cat's fault for fuckin' humping OP's Husband... I mean poisoning itself or something.

YDI. I'm sure you found them having slutty sex in the coat room on your wedding day 12 years ago

With friends like these..

…where are the real enemies?

...who needs anemones!

And several hours later, you explain to the police how you completely blacked out and can't remember a thing. You saw them, and the next thing you know you've got blood on your hands, standing over their dead bodies.
Don't forget to hire Billy Flinn. He's the best damn lawyer in town.

Better make sure that bitch Roxy isn't hogging him first.

Remember your story. You both reached for the gun.

Don't forget to fake your pregnancy. Just in case.

I kinda figured someone would mention hiring Jose Baez as the defense attorney. He can dish out a bunch of crap as an alternative story -_-

They definitely had it coming! It was a murder but not a crime!

True friends don't exist anymore. Only enemies. Sorry about that OP.

I beg to differ... But I see your point.

If you need help disposing the bodies, I'm your guy.