How about TWO?

Ha, best comment ^^

I thought everyone in Canada was nice?

Nah, that's just a front. On a side note, have you never wondered what gave Canadian Bacon its Oomph?

I wouldn't call it a front. We're genuinely nice people (most of us anyway) but we have limitations to our tolerance for bullshit. Yes, we do sometimes go ape-shit crazy. Having said that, our "crazy" is considered normal first response in some places south of the 49th parallel, at least according to what I've seen on FML.

Even though each question is recorded...

Siri is a smartass that can't be trusted these days. On an aside, remember when Google Maps used to tell you to swim across the Atlantic if you asked for directions to anywhere overseas? Cheeky, but maybe it was just trying to promote physical fitness? **Please, take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'm a pretty nonsensical person.

#44 not nice enough to share husbands

I wouldn't even call her a best friend

No, no; Tumblr is better at body disposal.

I definitely just asked Siri to validate this

What'd it say?

I loved when google maps said to jet ski

It once told me to canoe across the Pacific Ocean...

Agreed!

Cue theme music from Law and Order: SVU!

Boom, amen

Of course it's her fault, how dare she not only discover, but also interfere in their relationship. You just can't have a good affair these days without someone finding out and ruining it. It's terrible! On a serious note, I do feel bad for the OP, I know how it feels to have lying and cheating friends and I can only imagine how much worse this is.

I think everyone can empathize with OP on some level. Sadly, honest to heart people are rare these days.

Like, totally. I mean, it is like Schrödinger's cat. OP opened the box to find the cat dead and it is totally not the cat's fault for fuckin' humping OP's Husband... I mean poisoning itself or something.

…where are the real enemies?

...who needs anemones!

Better make sure that bitch Roxy isn't hogging him first.

Remember your story. You both reached for the gun.

Don't forget to fake your pregnancy. Just in case.

I kinda figured someone would mention hiring Jose Baez as the defense attorney. He can dish out a bunch of crap as an alternative story -_-

They definitely had it coming! It was a murder but not a crime!

I beg to differ... But I see your point.