By Anonymous - 26/07/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was over at my house for the first time. I told her I had to go take a shower, and from the other room my grandmother yells "you're not going to jack off this time are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 38 993
You deserved it 8 960

Same thing different taste

Top comments

... why would you take a shower when your girlfriend had finally come to your house to visit, anyway?

Parazad 16

At least your grandmother has a sense of humor.


jacob4848 4

yep! grandma knows he spanks his monkey!

juicedboi 7

And you replied with "that's what my girlfriends here for grandma!". Then proceed to invite said girlfriend into shower. After this has been completed you will have gained respect from me. Cause I know that's just what you are looking for.

enonymous 8

The wash cloth and soap have seen better days.

enonymous 8

Well it's not going to jerk itself and his wash cloth has seen better days.

zendaddy0 0

I can remember an fml where a guys grandma caught him jacking and everyone told him to do it in the shower this is the result

Jammy01jams 2

GF = she can humor you. Have you never talked about that stuff? I talk about it with girl before we een go on a date. it's nice when a girl knows what your like before all that junk cuz they find out sooner or later. lol

I think someone needs to be more discreet with their meat pounding

HappyCynic 0

Oh grandma, you're so silly.

freshV43 0

**** in your grandmas shampoo bottle

107 why in the blazing confines of carrot tops Afro would he consider such a moronic act?

tell grandma to STFU and tell your girlfriend that your grandma was just kidding... there problem solved!

lexi_8588 0

omg hahahahahha thats freaking hilarious! i love how you mind works my friend!

IphonFML 6

am I the only one who thought of big bang theory? lol

well why was he taking a shower while his gf was over that's a bit rude unless she was joining ...

Parazad 16

At least your grandmother has a sense of humor.

StopDropNRoll 11

I don't think she was trying to be funny

liggity 1

for sure you do they are so sweet and not afraid to speak their minds when comedy presents itself

strainer04 8

embarrassing your grandma said that but even more embarrassing that she knows you jack off in the shower!!

which guy doesn't jack off in the shower? lol

victimization 0

66 your picture is like almost borderline

Your picture goes with this comment. xD

strainer04 8

don't most guys jackoff in the shower?? is that the #1 preferred spot??

yes, yes it is, it's quite relaxing actually, and private, and the water makes it easier and feel better :)

... why would you take a shower when your girlfriend had finally come to your house to visit, anyway?

Maybe so he's clean if/when they have sex?

He's not too likely to get anywhere with his GF if he stinks, is he? You might ask why he didn't shower before, but maybe they both came back from somewhere together - we don't know but it seems safe to assume that he took a shower because he needed one.

My ex always used to get a shower when I was over. Eventually I joined him. I'd say this guy is working his way up that ladder. ;)

xk75 4

I agree, conscientious host FAIL! and if he thinks it will help him get some action, well, with super intuitive spy grandma in the house, I would advise the op to exercise better judgment and not try to put his girlfriend in a potentially VERY embarrassing position - grandma sees and hears ALL and has NO qualms about talking about it!

this is the cue so that next op make hash brownies and gives grandma some this solves everything :D

why didn't he take a shower before she came over?

because he touches himself at night . . . literally

OP deserves it for leaving evidence behind. The evidence was so clear his grandmother could see it.

Booch1117 4

how does it not go down the drain? he's in the shower. right?

tinypurplegiant 0

your gf probably didn't mind it at all :D one day she will join!

cptmorgan6 8

I'm guessing it's all the moaning, groaning, an fap fap fapping.