The Top

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By plantfood - 06/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 042

You deserved it 6 363

Foiled plan

By fazzems - 07/08/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 622

You deserved it 70 937

Calculated revenge

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 04:00

Today, my maths teacher, who hates me ever since I pointed out a mistake he made a few months ago, rang my dad and blatantly lied to him about me swearing at him in class. It was a complete load of bollocks, but my dad believed him and took away my PlayStation until after Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 181

Wrecked

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad is mad at me because I refused to buy a truck. An ugly old Isuzu with two flat tires and a missing headlight, and the owner said it needed a new transmission & brakes, but still wanted $8000. Apparently, without consulting me, Dad promised him I'd buy it as payment for guns he bought. Now he's in debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 82

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 934

You deserved it 3 217

By kai - 27/01/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 786

You deserved it 3 251

By superfiedman - 04/08/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 528

You deserved it 3 440

One man and his lawn

By Anonymous - 14/09/2021 16:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, my husband, who rarely helps with big projects around the house, offered to help me with our mess of a backyard. An hour and a half into the project, and an hour and a half after he disappeared from the backyard, I found him mowing and edging the front. Our front yard was immaculate and didn't need mowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 134

By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 064

You deserved it 43 086

Cry for help

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 03:00 - United States - Billerica

Today, I need a remote position due to a disability, but no company will even try to work with me. My car just died. I'll never be able to live on my own, despite being 30. The worst part? All the people who are gonna reply and call me "entitled." FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 188

Party pooper

By Uninvited - 05/12/2022 18:00

Today, I found out about my husband’s work Holiday party last night. I wasn’t invited because he told me they didn’t allow plus ones. That would be more believable if my friend who works at his same company hadn’t brought his wife there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 132

Dominatrix

By Grudges - 01/11/2025 20:00

Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 133

By FUSheldon - 28/11/2012 05:15 - United States - Millstadt

Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 887

You deserved it 4 908

Thanks Mom

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I don't know which is worse: my brother cramming all his sauce bottles into a fridge door shelf that exploded onto the floor when I opened the fridge, or my mother being mad at me because I was upset about slicing open my finger while cleaning up the broken glass and my hand now burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I went to the mall and saw a really cute guy. I acted all cool and started doing a sexy hair flip. On the way back up from my hair flip I hit my head on a cellphone stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 070

You deserved it 58 939

On the ball

By angie24w - 19/06/2020 07:55

Today, after an emergency doctor told me to go to the pharmacy to get Zantac for possible stomach ulcers, I was told by the pharmacist that it was actually recalled a year ago. I had to pay almost double the price for another antacid. Thanks a lot for knowing your stuff, ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 202

Never cheap out on trash bags

By Trash Fail - 21/12/2022 00:00

Today, I tried to replace my garbage can's trash bag. Every time I tried to pick it up, it would rip. Now my only option is to physically take everything out of it and pray to the Gods of Garbage that I get a trash can that doesn't have the durability of 1-ply toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 237

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE

By Krey85 - 11/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 169

By justmyluck? - 18/02/2011 03:02

Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 7 793

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 141

Me, myself, and I

By Anonymous - 29/04/2024 08:00 - United States - DeWitt

Today, I was tempted into clicking a shady link with the promise of free MP3s of De La Soul’s first four albums, with all the original samples. Long story short, I had to do a system restore on my laptop. Now it won’t play audio files for some inexplicable reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 793

And you did it at my birthday dinner

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 12:00

Today, as a makeup influencer, I came home to find my entire makeup collection destroyed. She dumped, stomped, and covered it all in used kitty litter for good measure. My obsessively jealous girlfriend swore I was dressing up for another woman. My collection was worth over $1800. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 226

Rabies ain't no joke

By No good deed... - 02/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, a coyote turned up in the yard where my son and his friend were playing. It was aggressive and foaming at the mouth, so I called the boys inside, and shot it. Now my wife is scared of me and half the neighborhood wants me gone for "dangerous behavior." FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 150

Bad day, huh?

By Anonymous - 12/11/2025 22:00

Today, work was exhausting, so I decided to get a pretzel crust pizza from Little Caesars on the way home. When I got home and opened the box, not only was the pizza cooked rather poorly, but there was also a mountain of salt strewn all over it, EXCEPT for the crust. How do you even mess up that badly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 79

Alas…

By Chris - 13/02/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 914

You deserved it 7 393

Lost

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 351

This charming man

By NoAlibi - 06/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I learned that it’s unwise to ask my cheating boyfriend, “What does she have that I don’t?” I was reduced to tears when he told me every single detail this new girl has that makes her so amazing. Now I’m researching plastic surgery and tummy tuck websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 341

Happy birthday indeed

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 15:00

Today, it was my birthday. I had an appointment at the dentist and went to do some shopping after that. A while after I got home, I met my dad and he just started complaining that I didn't spend any time with them on my birthday. When I tried to explain to him, he just got angry at me and started yelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 66

By Taylor Page - 19/02/2015 16:24 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my boss used the restroom at work. She returned and told me I needed to go clean the toilet because "someone left a mess in there." It was her mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 638

You deserved it 2 540

TW: Gross

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 00:09 - Denmark

Today, my roommate complained about his penis being smelly and itchy. It's been a week. Yesterday he woke me up in the middle of the night, asking if I had some kind of Vaseline or moisturizer he could use for the itching. He still refuses to go to the doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 453

You deserved it 2 839

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The Top

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 887

You deserved it 54 289

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 514

You deserved it 4 941

Today, I learned the only job that actually wants me is as a peanut butter factory worker. I've been unemployed for 9 months. I'm also allergic to nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 3 746

Today, I was talking to someone on the phone, and then I panicked because I couldn't find it, searching for it while speaking on the phone, asking them to call it. It wasn't until they started laughing did I realise that it was up against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 459

Today, I finally realized that the only time my mother talks to me is when she needs money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 441

You deserved it 3 215

Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 108