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By StupidApple - 25/05/2011 00:02

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 876

You deserved it 53 287

Potholes

By Yudith - 16/10/2019 00:01

Today, I ran to catch the night bus which passes every hour, when it unexpectedly passed its stop and turned right. I ran faster, only to trip on a roadwork sign and scrape both knees on the half-rebuilt road, ruining my new yoga pants in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 325

Wankers of the world unite!

By ari - 19/03/2012 05:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 860

You deserved it 53 382

By snow - 22/09/2009 09:12 - Australia

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 870

You deserved it 6 806

It's PC gone mad

By Anonymous - 03/12/2023 14:00

Today, I received a written warning at work for being "unacceptably rude" to an official visitor. I guess fetching the fire hose because the building was actively on fire wasn’t a valid excuse for yelling at the dozy cow stood blocking the door to “move out the fucking way.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 157

By ZittyMii - 03/07/2010 19:52 - United States

Today, a friend of mine had a Wii party and made everyone into Miis. My Mii had freckles. I don't have freckles. When I commented on it, she said, "Well, there isn't a zit feature." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 480

You deserved it 6 111

By Noname - 11/03/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 563

You deserved it 3 824

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 03:48 - United States

Today, for the first time all month I felt truly proud and accomplished. I finally figured out how to change the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 903

You deserved it 24 127

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Spicy

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 631

You deserved it 18 073

Sleeping on the kitchen floor

By Covid_countdown - 25/08/2022 12:00

Today, my fiancée and I slept in separate rooms, even though we're now considered married based on a Congolese ceremony we had, because I got Covid. We will have two bedrooms in our next place, but the lease starts next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 204

Villain backstory

By Sadrainindeed - 10/12/2023 00:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a really shitty fight with my dad. We were standing in front of each other, screaming and yelling. Everything gets so complicated and annoying when it comes to him, and I vividly have some deep daddy issues which affect my everyday life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 172

Knowledge is power

By asuramaru - 24/10/2019 16:00

Today, at 19 years-old, I found out that kiwi birds aren’t actually extinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 1 304

You don't like the thumpa-thumpa music??

By worst birthday ever - 20/08/2022 16:00

Today, some people from work I don't know very well insisted on throwing me a surprise birthday party. They took me to a gay club. I'm straight, in a committed relationship, and suffer from horrible social anxiety and hypersensitive hearing. I would literally rather have been trapped in a burning building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 152

Roomies

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032

You deserved it 3 058

By AkGirl1991 - 11/03/2012 11:33 - United States

Today, I was opening a present my boyfriend got me for my 21st birthday. What I unwrapped was a Kay jewelers box. Excited, I opened it to find a ring made out of a one dollar bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 208

You deserved it 5 024

AkGirl1991 tells us more.

AkGirl1991 7

Sunday 11 March 2012 21:38

This is the poster, and actually I had bought him a promise ring on valentines day. He used the box I gave him....I just thought. I might have been getting one in return. And no, I am not materialistic or ungrateful, and I know he can afford it. Just got my hopes up. If he had JUST given me the ring, it would have been great.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 6 886

Creepy

By skid kid - 10/03/2012 02:09 - Canada

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 988

You deserved it 6 664

Lookin' good

By scruffy - 10/05/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 050

You deserved it 38 170

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 642

You deserved it 6 757

Caught in 4K

By Shocked - 21/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband was cheating on me via the Kiss Cam at the game he went to. A mutual friend, who went to that same game, sent me a photo. My husband had told me he was gonna be working tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 98

By Collin - 10/06/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 851

You deserved it 4 529

Big night

By mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 990

You deserved it 34 799

Age of approval

By henry - 24/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, the 18-now-19 year-old girl who originally lead me on, ended things, then made a show of our four year age difference to the people she knew is now happily dating a 27 year-old. Her parents approve. I’m now known as a creep and lost many friends over this, but she just gets to move on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 287

By JhKhS - 14/09/2009 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 590

You deserved it 9 495

Charlie!

By Anonymous - 12/09/2022 18:30

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he insists I bit his penis during sex, and that I'm a crazy, man-hating psycho. It’s not true, I’ve just not given many blowjobs before, my technique stinks, and my teeth touched his skin a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 10/02/2013 01:39 - United States - Decatur

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 496

You deserved it 2 411

By wow - 05/05/2011 06:13

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 3 462

By GrandmaShakers - 02/06/2010 23:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 642

You deserved it 5 208

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 573

You deserved it 94 825

Smells like teen spirit of America

By Clogged Nose - 19/03/2020 02:32

Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 151

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for telling his ex to stop taking financial advantage of him. She gets her hair and nails done, has three new pets in her house, and just bought the latest iPhone. But apparently, I'm the bad guy for suggesting that she's not really "struggling" as much as she claims to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 84

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315 607

You deserved it 174 183

Random

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 445

You deserved it 1 078

Today, I was so drunk that I forgot how to use the key to my front door. But I knew how to break a window, get into my locked basement, and unlock the basement door with my front door's key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 17 035

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 412

You deserved it 3 976

Today, I went to a haunted house with the girl I like, thinking that she would get scared and turn to me for comfort. I ended up running out, and was put on the Wall of Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 747

You deserved it 21 045

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 776

You deserved it 3 318

Today, my boys get in so much trouble, I don’t even bother checking on them anymore. Instead, every ten minutes, I yell up the stairs to stop whatever they’re doing, and every time without fail they guiltily apologise and try to blame each other/promise to fix it/swear not to do it again. EVERY TIME. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 980