By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 04:57 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 677
You deserved it 12 051

Same thing different taste


raininginseattle 9

Didn't she know it was Talk Like a Pirate Day? Should have gone with the pirate eye instead of swallowing.

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Well that's untrue because some people don't like the texture hence the vomiting or the taste which by the way if they eat a load of crap tastes really salty and tastes disgusting!

You're an idiot. It can taste very disgusting depending on the diet of the man, and she doesn't need to woman up so that he can come in her mouth, she's not a pornstar. If her husband wants her to do it so much he should change his diet to accommodate. Also they probably won't be getting intimate for a while because it was such a turn off, at least it seems that way.

nnnope 26

am I the only one who finds it ironic that the vegetarian has consumed a lot of potential human babies?

graceinsheepwear 33

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26, that's absolute bullshit. Cheating is not about getting head or not, it's about someone getting horny and having absolutely no self-control whatsoever. [Or, rarely, they simply don't have the balls to first end a relationship before they start something with someone else.]

monnanon 13

no one can like the tastenof semem surely? its not pleasent but i dont mind doing it every so often if i have something to drink handy to get rid of the aftertaste. there are also plenty of other ways to finish a bj. its maybe not the taste. maybe op was cuaght unawares and it triggered her gag reflex either way i cant imagine it was fun for either of them.

DenBriZel 31

Really? Not all girls are ***** and suck every dude's dick. (and I'm not saying all girls who do it are *****) but seriously telling to woman up and down it anyway is just whorish. 26- anyone who cheats to get a BJ isn't worth staying with. Guys should respect any girl who isn't open to them, whether or not they want them. Not every girl does it, and it's not a ******* necessity so I think guys need to stop acting like they're the most important thing in a relationship. And as for OP, that sucks! I'd try again when you feel ready. And if you don't want to try again I hope your guy is understanding and doesn't try to force you or decide to cheat on you (like said asshole above) good luck OP!

DenBriZel 31

Oh and for the record, I DO do BJ's so don't think I don't and that's the reason why I'm defending girls that don't. I just think it's completely wrong for guys to have the frame of mind that a girl NEEDS to and that he's justified to go elsewhere if they don't want to

so all girls who swallow are ******? that's logical...

This thread is so chock full of stupid I just don't know where to begin. 1) Some people can't swallow. Texture, taste, whatever. Doesn't matter. Telling them to "woman up" because it's just one swallow is preposterous. 2) Potential future babies? Seriously? 3) Men cheat because their wives won't blow them? Are you ******* serious? don't... You people are all idiots.

DenBriZel 31

Did I not just say that I wasn't saying ALL GIRLS are? Just the ones who say to woman up because it obviously doesn't taste bad and you're a baby and shit like that.

DenBriZel 31

You think you're the ultimate pole smoker don't you?

***** much? Not everyone is used to the taste of cum, so it could upset their stomach.

Evilphatpandah 5

#57 So youre saying women who choose to swallow are ******?

Ok honey. I will only say this once so listen closely, k? There is no "woman up" saying. Obviously there is more to the story other than she is less of a woman for vomiting. I personally do not like the taste of ejaculation. But I told my husband this before we were even married. I will do a BJ every once in a while for him just because I know it is a need. I also have a low sex drive due to health issues and medications, so do I need to "woman up" and have sex even if I don't feel up to it that day? It is little girls like you that give men the idea that all women should be pornstars and they end up cheating as aformentioned. With communication comes knowledge and understanding of what each partner wants. Sorry other folks, rant over...

@99 no one asked to hear about your sex issues, that's TMI

It's okay to try to spice things up in the bedroom, but It needs to be something they both comfortable with... In this case, she wasn't... I'm not so hung up on BJ as I've noticed most guys are... I can't even count how many times women have thought I didn't find them attractive because I turned a BJ down until after I explained myself... OP's husband owes it to her to at least try again or make her feel comfortable and wanted, and not quickly close out like she said he would... That's not healthy! But hey, to each his own...

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Lmfao. That's funny. Just too many sensitive ass people here.

No it's unoriginal and not funny at all.

More like what an unoriginal comment. If you look at previous FMLS, comments like these are usually buried.

Spider_Web 11

@4: Sit in the corner and think about what you just said.

201#. Just because is not funny to you or the people that thumb him down. Doesn't mean is not funny for me.

If he had said "then we all got ice cream", I'd accept the joke. Then it's from South Park instead of the overused spinoff of a shitty situation.

#4 join the club of "what a sticky situation" comments

I find this funny because of your profile picture hahaha.

There was a FML about the grandma telling granddaughter about the taste....

kathryn14 19

I think she threw up trying to swallow while having it in her mouth at the same time. Because it does not taste bad enough to throw up

#138, the taste is never the same, and just because one person has no issue with the taste doesn't mean that it won't taste gross enough for someone else to puke.

kathryn14 19

I just think it's more probable for the reason for her vomit to be the gagging mixed with trying to swallow.

The taste depends on OP's husband diet. The more fruits he eats the better it taste. If he eats a lot of fatty and greasy food it'll taste disgusting.

\ 28

I wonder how many of you are speaking from experience...

#161 is right. It tastes different depending on what the guy eats. If he eats fruit and veg, the taste is very mild. If he eats, say, spicy food - the taste is absolutely rank lol! Maybe he didn't warn her he was about to finish and she was surprised and gagged? Poor lady, she tried though!

SessaKitty 6

For me at least, it's not about the taste. The texture and amount of it is what makes me not able to handle it being in my mouth. I gag repeatedly every time. Not pleasant. I couldn't even imagine being able to swallow it. Maybe OP is the same?

Says the 17 year old, 138 I noticed you removed your age off of your profile, but I recognise your face.

Plus if its extra chunky, that's nasty too. Sorry for that imagery

Why thumb #138 down? She obviously was there knows OP's husband and personal life better than OP herself.

i guess a thumbs up for trying :D is it that bad?

graceinsheepwear 33
monnanon 13

its bloody minging is what it is but its just a few seconds at the end. she is not a wuss there could be several reasons why she was sick.

And you're an ass. Lets shove a dick down the back of your throat and see if you can hold back the vomiting. Everyone has a gag reflex, maybe he just went too deep.

#18 I take it you have tons of experience in swallowing men's cum to constantly berate OP and those women who cannot follow up?

graceinsheepwear 33

I am 55, I have a 40 year old boyfriend, and I came of age in the free-wheeling 70s, so yeah, I have a bit of experience. I said that because the person who asked is it that bad is 16 and she shouldn't be scared off from trying it at the appropriate time in her life because of horror stories she reads on FML.

#7 I've gone down on men a couple times in my short life and the semen is awful to me. Thank goodness it didn't taste too disgusting (in my opinion, but everyone has different opinions and not all cum tastes the same). My big problem was, all three times, the semen would make my mouth and throat go completely numb for up to an hour. It felt like your legs do when they fall asleep. I cannot stand that feeling! (And I don't think it's normal either)

Ok you're older than most on here. Age really has nothing to do with it. We get it, swallowing isn't an issue for you but to tell OP that she isn't a woman until she can, is a giant load of bullshit. You don't want other people's "horror stories" to stop her from trying again but you are sitting there being manipulating as ****. For someone of your age and "experience" I would have expected better of you.

graceinsheepwear 33

I didn't anywhere say that she isn't a woman until she can do it. If you are gonna quote me, be accurate. As far as the age of people on here, that's not for me to monitor. This site talks about all kinds of adult topics and there is no age verification. Why should I self censor when no one else does?

So loving the fact someone told her to "woman up" isn't your view too? If not why did you LOVE it so much. Also calling her a wuss, you must be a proud 55 year old, name calling like your 5 again.

not really scared ! jus curious i guess?!! thanks fr d info !!

You also should not be encouraging a 16 year old to do anything sexual. If she feels like she needs to know things of a sexual nature that is for her parents to teach her, not some random ass person off of the internet. Yes, she asked but she is also young. You could have suggested that she ask her parents or you should have not comment at all.

#91 Sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

fooltemptress 36

#53, you don't want people misquoting you so how's this for ya: First you say that you wrote the comment you did because you didn't want to discourage a 16 year old on the site then you say people's ages on here aren't for you to monitor and you shouldn't have to censor yourself if no one else does. You clearly monitor people's ages on this site and you clearly alter your comments according to those ages, thus censoring yourself. So, which is it? Do you monitor people's ages and censor yourself or don't you? Or was it just some BS excuse to justify your "she's a wuss" comment after getting reamed for it? Personally, I think you're full of it.

\ 28

It's a sad truth that our lives wouldn't be nearly as satisfying if we only did everything our parents advised us to do....

#7 I'm 16 too, don't worry about the taste, it's different for everyone. don't let someone else's bad experiences hinder you from trying it some time. but I'm not at all telling you to go suck off as many guys as you can to find a taste you like, just like some people like tomatoes and others hate them, cum is kind of the same, some people like it and others don't. it's all about your opinion if you ever feel like giving it a go

Tell him he needs to eat more fruit and try again in a while

Make him go Vegan. Its delicious then. Like candy.

And tell him to drink a lot of pineapple juice

Diet isn't the sole decider of taste. My husband eats mostly red meat & spicy food, but tastes fine. Magazines, like Cosmo, tell people all kinds of things like pineapple, no dairy, blah, blah, blah. If all their "better sex" claims were true regular subscribers would be having 24/7 orgasms by now. Diet is a factor, along with hygiene, toxin levels in the body, frequency of ejaculation, presence of disease/illness, physical disorders, etc. and individual tastes of second party.

mollyx 6

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nnnope 26

cool story. don't tell it again.

You're lucky I have a strong stomach, 14. I read your comment while eating Coco Pebbles.

IworkAt711 14

118- You're not supposed to eat while on this site.

\ 28

Hmm... you're new to FML and one of the first things you posted was how your BF jizzed in your mouth. Can we have your number?????

158 well that's a risk I'm willing to take.

Oh My God, Who The Hell Cares *Peter Griffin Voice*

graceinsheepwear 33

Google how to sweeten your cum. Pineapple is one well known method.

if your first few comments get buried, stop commenting! one of the unwritten rules of FML

graphicstyle7 17

Ok, I give you kudos for effort, and I'm sure that was very embarrassing... but, really? This very mild thing you did was "spicing up your sex life"? I do that sort of thing with my husband on a regular basis and don't think of it as anything special, and that's true of many women. I'm thinking your mindset is set to "inhibited", that could be why you had such a violent reaction. Look at some self-help books about loosening up in the bedroom! You seem too tense to enjoy anything but the most vanilla of sex, and that gets old for him AND for you.

Just because something seems mild to you doesn't mean it should be mild for everyone. A judging attitude doesn't help anyone, either.

SrakaSrakasta 20

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#82 1) Wow you need to clean your ****** or find a different girl friend. That was horrid describing. 2) I, like many women I'm sure, go down on my boyfriend every single time we have sex, and the favour is rarely returned. So yeah, there are selfish partners out there. 3) Wow, you're trying to say all women have nasty vaginas and we can't tell you otherwise? I, again, like most women I'm sure, shower every day. And like most women, we're not filthy pigs who don't clean our lady parts. If you're a woman, I feel bad for you. If you're a man, I feel even worse for you. Stinky gross ****** or stinky gross girlfriends, either way, FYL because your opinion of vaginas is insane.

And if your/her ****** is sour and has foul odor a trip to the doctor is warranted. Something isn't right.

So just because she doesn't swallow on a regular basis means she is tense and only likes vanilla sex? I'm far from vanilla and I don't swallow, my bf has a terrible fast food diet and we've compromised on the issue. If its so bad for her I don't see why she has to adhere to it just to "keep her man happy". That's true for straight men too, if you're throwing up while going down on someone, ask them to maintain better hygiene or just stop doing it.

So because OP doesn't normally give her boyfriend ********, she's inhibited. Way to be a judgemental bitch. Every couple has different go-to moves and different favored routines. Perhaps Op's boyfriend just wanted to try something new or add ******** into their sex life. The fact that she tried it means she isn't inhibited.

SrakaSrakasta 20

Okay, I might have gone too far with the piss-smelling but still. Are you telling me that when you come home from a long day (during which you probably wore underwear so your ****** was confined to tight and hot space) your vag smells like roses? I seriously doubt it. I understand you're a female, so you know how we wipe after peeing. You can either wipe that last drop or sorta pat it away. All fine and dandy, but the trace of piss still stays and if you stuck your nose right next to it you could probably smell it. Unless you use baby wipes after each bathroom visit, props to you then! Ever sucked a dick after sex? It tasted sour right? It should, because the inside of a healthy ****** is acidic. Ever wondered why the pH of intimate soaps is around 5? That's why. I've never had an UTI or vaginits or anything like that, so I must be doing something right. And yes, I also shower once a day, at least. I'm not trying to say people should find vaginas gross (at least not ones that are sexually attracted to women, hopefully). It just pissed me off that on one side, it's okay to say semen is gross, as if the guys were squirting shit out of their dicks, and on the other side vaginas are romanticised. I think it's not fair that a guy HAS TO go down on a girl to be considered a good and caring lover, whilst if a female doesn't give her male partner oral sex that's just her choice. Let me be clear: I'm arguing PUBLIC OPINION on the matter, not how every couple chooses to manage their relationship.

graphicstyle7 17

149, LOL, "way to be a judgmental bitch" O, the irony.

Who the hell is yelling about vaginas smelling like roses and saying that if a man doesn't go down on their lover they're worthless??? I see no such comment on this entire FML. No one - man or female should be forced to feel like they have to.

SrakaSrakasta 20

I'm just arguing/discussing a general opinion (at least on the internet) on partners giving eachother oral sex. Theme of this discussion derived from this FML. I went too off topic, but it's still related to OP's story. I guess what I originally tried to say was that i'ts no wonder a lot of men are sexually frustrated (refering to, at least, intimacy section on FML), if a lot of women have OP's mindset. They will "not be getting intimate for a long, long time" because she puked during/after a BJ? Really? How must her partner feel, probably thinking he disgusts her or something? And noone was "yelling", 171, before you came in with your three question marks.

nnnope 26

163 - actually, it's public opinion BECAUSE so many women go down on their male partners without having the favor ever returned...myself included. it's sad that you find your own anatomy so repulsive, and only feel that the people who shouldn't find it repulsive are the ones who want relationships/sex with women. what is wrong with you?? also, have you forgotten that men pee too, and that dicks *can* smell SO much worse than vaginas after one of your hypothetical long days? you should stop being so's not helping.

if a man doesn't go down on a woman he is worthless!- said no one on this thread ever

SrakaSrakasta 20

I'm don't find my anatomy repulsive, I'm just telling it like it is. You are the one that just keeps twisting my words and telling me I'm wrong, without saying why, I'm just stating the facts. I'm happy with all parts of my body, my partner, and our sex life. He is happy too, at least his actions indicate so. So I'm guessing you (and by your words, most of the women) are the one(s) with the problem here, because apparently you can't choose your partner wisely. So I am sorry, I'll correct my statement: it's no wonder there are so many sexually frustrated people, if their partners are so selfish/lazy/stuck up/whatever. Happy now? And no, I did not forget about smelly dicks. I was mearly trying to say that going down on women CAN be just as unp

SrakaSrakasta 20

unpleasant as going down on guys, and I decided to write that because the majority of the commenters before me were yelling about how disgusting is semen (and I think that is unfair to the guys, how would you feel if so many people thought you were disgusting?). I exatrated and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset anyone to the point I abviously upset you. Again, sorry, and I hope your sex life gets better.

rlTlk 13

#192 these people clearly are not getting your point. I'm with you. But it's the Internet and people will go psycho and make no sense on your ass. You clearly offended all other woman who think that simply being healthy std free and having good hygiene means your vajayjay smells like roses and is pleasant to stick a tongue down. While I've never run across a guy unwilling, or even not eager to perform oral in return we all, at least should, still know unless your fresh from the shower, just as when guys are not fresh from the shower, things do not taste like cherry pie. But even then it's not that awful. It doesn't mean you wouldn't do it, unless of course something major was going on down there.

Just a question, does he not come in your mouth at all? I've always thought it would be a lot worse to hold it in your mouth while you reach for a cup or something to spit instead of just going ahead and swallowing it.

nnnope 26

192: "semen is gross" and "men are gross" do not mean the same thing. that'd be like becoming asexual because everybody poops. I also don't think someone finding a bodily fluid not-so-tasty makes that person an unwise partner choice... that's ridiculous. and please don't tell me I chose my partner unwisely. the only one here with issues is *clearly* you. (what else am I supposed to deduce when you respond to everyone with a multi-paragraph tirade?)

Or perhaps you could try not bring such a judgmental bitch? That's also a very valid option. I'm about as kinky as they get and will NOT let a man come in my mouth. The smell, texture, taste are all utterly abhorrent and a recent study shows that only about 30% of women will do that. So how bout you sit the **** down and shut the **** up?

166: You were being a judgemental bitch by saying that ******** are normal for all couples and that it's a 'mild' thing. And saying that OP is likely inhibited just cemented this view. Like I said before, not everyone has the same sexual routine and you can only judge your own, and not other people's outlook on their sexual life, nor is it up to you to judge what is or isn't the norm in other people's sex lives.

You must have horrible relationships with your parents, siblings, coworkers, neighbors, and the postman

your take on vaginas is hysterical!! I don't know what horrors you've faced in your *********** experience but I never met a ****** I didn't like! my women have always known they could wake me with some pussy in my face over a ******* any day. Before you get confused I love getting head but NOTHING beats eating pussy

whiteboy896 9