Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards,... - FML

By FishStampede - 16/5/2009 12:11 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37852

You deserved it

18650

Tweet

Share

Family values

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Grow up

By Anonymous - 7/9/2013 04:37 - United States - West Hartford

Today, I found out the unionized cleaning people that empty the garbage and clean the toilets make $19/hr and have more paid time off than I do with my college degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52220

You deserved it

7263

Tweet

Share

By clothesthief - 3/4/2015 10:44 - Australia - Ivanhoe

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31634

You deserved it

3906

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 02:49 - United States

Today, after playing on the same basketball team for eight years with the same coach, he kicked me off the team to make room for my younger brother, who I taught to play basketball in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33624

You deserved it

4247

Tweet

Share

By LadyGagasLOVER - 8/8/2010 08:49 - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45643

You deserved it

3504

Tweet

Share

By Username - 8/7/2011 20:02 - United States

Today, I noticed a woman struggling to work a parking meter, so I went over to help. She took one look at me before screaming, hitting me in the face, and running back to her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31093

You deserved it

3597

Tweet

Share

By Heather - 4/3/2010 12:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28105

You deserved it

3664

Tweet

Share

By dsbass09 - 9/7/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, after 8 years in exceptionally difficult veterinarian classes which put me $200,000 in debt, and 7 months of job searching, I finally got a job. I will be inspecting feces for worms while making minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38756

You deserved it

5548

Tweet

Share

By chrisinator - 11/10/2016 04:21 - United States - Woodside

Today, I turned on my furnace when I got home from work for the first time this season. Only problem? Cats. Our kitten Norman has never heard a furnace in his life and Noel has just forgotten what a furnace sounds like. Both cats are terrified and won't stop yelping. I just want to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10583

You deserved it

1205

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 02:35 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30642

You deserved it

2159

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/10/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26574

You deserved it

8010

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/3/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, while e-mailing my dream college, I noticed you can see other people's profile pictures when I saw a lady I've met before. I've been using this e-mail account to communicate with all the colleges and universities. My profile picture is baby Elmo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2961

You deserved it

4251

Tweet

Share

By mikeissad - 11/8/2012 19:37 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

I agree, your life sucks

39168

You deserved it

2459

Tweet

Share

By richkief76 - 10/5/2011 02:34

Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35846

You deserved it

8266

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/6/2020 08:00

Hard shoulder

Today, the guy I’ve been trying to get over for the last month finally messaged me like I’ve been hoping for, only to cry that his new girlfriend cheated on him and to ask if I think he should forgive her, because he, "appreciates my honesty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1495

You deserved it

185

Tweet

Share

By sparklethelette - 7/12/2011 01:38 - United States

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27924

You deserved it

3477

Tweet

Share

By SleepObsessed - 5/8/2018 19:00

Today, even though I'm the most neat freak germophobe there is, I was diagnosed with scabies. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2722

You deserved it

385

Tweet

Share

By Krystyn Gareau - 9/9/2011 04:10 - Canada

Today, I went to Walmart with my Dad, and he decided to kick me in the butt while I was walking. When I went to kick him back, I hit my own leg out from beneath myself and landed on my face. The most embarrassing thing was that the people who saw all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25024

You deserved it

13613

Tweet

Share

By ohgosh - 12/10/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, my son lost his pet rat, Charlie. Whilst vacuuming under my couch, the vacuum suddenly shut off. Something was stuck in it, so I took it apart. Something was inside, so I leaned in closer to get a better look. Bad news? I need a new vacuum. Good news? I found Charlie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33580

You deserved it

4574

Tweet

Share

By fmlsrsly - 25/3/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to find out why I've been feeling so sick the past several weeks. Turns out, I'm severely allergic to the cat of my girlfriend of two years. I told her "It's me or the cat." She chose the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69340

You deserved it

30134

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/5/2020 14:00

Some friends you've got there

Today, I got my commissioned anime portrait done. One of my friends commented on why all my commissions are skinny look-alikes, when I'm really fat in real life and active in body positivity. Then everyone started agreeing with her, stating that if I was so happy with who I am, why my art is of me slim? FML

I agree, your life sucks

705

You deserved it

1573

Tweet

Share

By jonas_93 - 5/4/2009 19:15 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68918

You deserved it

9146

Tweet

Share

By bobbies - 15/4/2009 02:15 - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

55535

You deserved it

5942

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/12/2016 14:55 - United States - Harbor City

Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7207

You deserved it

583

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 7/5/2014 23:06 - United States

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36917

You deserved it

5651

Tweet

Share

By offended - 7/4/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60123

You deserved it

5113

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/8/2020 20:06

Big boomer energy

Today, my father-in law-shared his opinion that autistic kids should be beaten until they act normal. He saw fit to share this while my autistic son was having a meltdown because my father-in-law came to the house without warning, and my son violently hates visitors without prior warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2064

You deserved it

217

Tweet

Share

By Owned - 29/1/2009 00:32 - Taiwan

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7885

You deserved it

28178

Tweet

Share

By brokeasajoke - 1/11/2013 12:58 - United States - El Reno

Today, an old man looked me dead in the eyes as he reached into my tip jar, grabbed the money, and then walked out of the store as if nothing ever happened. I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything to stop him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42680

You deserved it

10720

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/5/2020 08:00

Winning

Today, I found out my fourteen-year-old daughter is making more money than me, thanks to babysitting and winning writing contests. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1060

You deserved it

396

Tweet

Share

By bh2000 - 29/5/2020 17:00

Pay up

Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1550

You deserved it

137

Tweet

Share

By cookyourowndamndinner - 17/4/2017 06:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my roommates sat me down and said we need to have a serious chat. I was worried, until they asked me if I could quit my new night job. When I asked why, they said it was because I wasn't home anymore to cook them dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5932

You deserved it

447

Tweet

Share

By FML - 24/7/2014 15:59 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46310

You deserved it

24140

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/4/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26439

You deserved it

64182

Tweet

Share

By IamTheSalt - 25/4/2017 02:00

Today, I got my grades back. They were all 98's and 99's with also a 104 (extra-credit). I got refused from entering an honors club, because it's "impossible to get above a hundred in a math class". I even got investigated for cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5995

You deserved it

366

Tweet

Share

By Mike - 17/12/2009 16:38 - United States

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15071

You deserved it

54501

Tweet

Share

By FLIPmcCOOL - 15/5/2014 22:57 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38022

You deserved it

60109

Tweet

Share

By Hank-T4 - 11/10/2015 11:45 - Australia - Truganina

Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12984

You deserved it

45878

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/2/2015 17:56 - United States

Today, I'm sick with a stomach flu. For the last 5 hours, I've been going back and forth from the couch to the bathroom. Each time I get into the bathroom, I have to make a choice of whether to sit on the toilet or kneel by it. Each time I have to clean up the other mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34539

You deserved it

5864

Tweet

Share

By Why - 2/4/2014 08:13 - Australia - Sydney

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44454

You deserved it

6273

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/3/2015 09:52 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying at my after-wedding party, after promising she'd behave herself. She thinks my husband is an awful person who'll drag me into a life of sin, all because he has a tattoo and an ear piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29948

You deserved it

2878

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By MaddieMonster | 0

#203397 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:17

Hey, I'm an American too. I thoughtfully admit we are pretty damn stupid sometimes.

By loveyababe | 0

#203375 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:07

smooth! hahahaha at least they breezed by quickly.

COMMENTS

By loveyababe | 0

#203375 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:07

smooth! hahahaha at least they breezed by quickly.

Reply

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv | 2

#933250 - Wednesday 10 March 2010 22:14

Yet you had time to count the exact number of people.... weird

Reply

foseberry3 | 0

#1042013 - Friday 25 June 2010 0:50

ew korean bewbs!

By realggirl | 0

#203378 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:08

LOL, your life is fucked!

Reply

Mike1992 | 0

#1302447 - Thursday 26 August 2010 8:41

I wouldn't say fucked. random people saw the them naked not a big deal.

By Compwiz1993 | 0

#203382 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:09

hope there weren't any kids there...

Reply

littlemisshottie_fml | 0

#979504 - Tuesday 13 April 2010 22:25

Damn I should've riden my horse :D

By MaddieMonster | 0

#203388 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:12

"and on your right is some naked American..." "Today, I was horseback riding on a national park trail, when all of a sudden i looked over and saw a stripping guy/girl. FML"

Reply

MysteryJoker | 5

#752459 - Sunday 3 January 2010 10:34

And to your left, we have a European that believes the Korea Republic of Seoul is located in America.

Reply

kasumii | 1

#2145429 - Thursday 3 March 2011 14:17

Korea Republic of Seoul? WTF.

Reply

Asstonia | 1

#2454649 - Wednesday 4 May 2011 0:47

you clearly don't know much about Korea either bro.

Reply

paintedchocolate | 30

#5327138 - Wednesday 16 January 2013 20:54

An American making fun of the Europeans' knowledge of geography?

B- b- but that's wrong! That's not the natural order of things!!!

By onigiriqueen | 0

#203391 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:14

God hates you, #4.

I suppose you couldn't have known it was a horse trail, so FYL. Good luck with that.

By sn1992 | 0

#203392 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:15

bahahaha you deserved that one....how could you not tell it was a HORSE trail?

By MaddieMonster | 0

#203397 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:17

Hey, I'm an American too. I thoughtfully admit we are pretty damn stupid sometimes.

By boatiebanter | 0

#203406 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:23

Did you not have a towel you could wrap around you and change under?

By I2OI3 | 0

#203413 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:29

Was it a cold morning? That could have bad - shrinkage etc. Did you ever see that episode of Seinfeld?

By buu700 | 3

#203429 - Saturday 16 May 2009 16:38

#7, believe it or not, stupidity is hardly the exclusive domain of Yanks.

Reply

chelzy | 0

#1041939 - Thursday 24 June 2010 22:53

yer right. it's for yanks and people who call us yanks. get out of the past Brit. btw, I clicked ydi so It sed way to show em!