The Top

OK, yeah I posted this on the way home. I got home a showered instantly. Yes I am a minor. No I didn't take a drink from his beer, and I don't know why this got accepted. I am not an FML worker. Who gives a shit? If you didn't like it you didn't have to comment, or even read it. I really couldn't care less what you guys say, I just wanted to set some things straight. But yeah thanks for comments, so much! It only gives this FML more popularity. /End rant.

By notanightowlanymore - 05/01/2016 17:44 - United States - Clyde

Today, my grandfather showed up at my house in a panic. He rushed over, with a gun, because I wasn't answering his texts and he thought something had happened to me. I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 335

You deserved it 2 135

Close call

By Purple - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fremont

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 872

You deserved it 3 002

By The Selfie Parent - 04/11/2014 21:48 - Canada - Mount Pearl

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 6 642

By Anonymous - 05/12/2010 00:54 - United States

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 37 283

Sorry, dude

By kiki - 25/05/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 902

You deserved it 12 635

By neilmalik - 21/10/2015 11:18 - United States - Murrieta

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 177

You deserved it 4 734

By voltumna - 29/04/2009 12:38 - United States

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 705

You deserved it 7 476

voltumna tells us more.

voltumna 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:25

As the OP, a few extra points: I'm female, he was about a foot taller than me, I'd come home from an 8 hour shift, and I called the cops once I'd moved down the street to a safe distance. If there had been people around, I'd have stood up to him, but I didn't want to add mugging to an already shitty day. But, at #29, I'll totally try that next time!